Currently I am also researching this title. Currently in my findings the word elect in the bible only refers to someone who is chosen or selected. An individual or group called by God to a particular ministry or relationship. None of the scriptural references read thus far mention the term elect lady. There are also other titles used frequently by brethren, co-pastor and assistant pastor. These are also terms not mentioned in the scriptures. Let me know what you find as well regarding this term.
It is but another title created to either add honor to the people or something taken totally out of context, such as "Reverend, Arch-Bishop, Cardinal, Pope, ect..."
First Lady or Elect Lady actually holds no real honor or position within the Kingdom as far as the individual female. What if the female has the calling to leadership? What does that make her husband who has no such calling? You may say "this is impossible", but then you forget Deborah was the Prophetess and Judge over all Israel, and she was married. What title did her husband hold?
In response regarding the term "Elect Lady", there is no biblical term in the word of God to support this exact term. In my findings, let us closely examine the word "elect". The definition is to choose or select by vote, as for an office; to determine in favor of (a method, course of action, etc.), to pick out; choose, Theology. (of God) to select for divine mercy or favor, esp. for salvation. As a noun - a person or the persons chosen or worthy to be chosen. Elect also is an individual or group called by God to a particular ministry or relationship. The term in Hebrew is bahar, presents a picture of one small group selected out of a field of many - and selected for a purpose. "Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured posession" Deut 14:2. The Greek meaning is "eklektos" meaning "picked out" Mt 22:14. To be literal secularly, "Elect Lady" demonstrates the call to assist the shepard/pastor with his God ordained office in the body of Christ.
There are many terms used in today's times which may not be in the word of God. Terms such as Mr., Mrs., Ms. Grandfather, Grandmother, President, Commissioner etc. Terms were created and given as an act to embrace respect to those who we hold dear to us and as a means to honor their office in the home, office and society. If I may sum it up. This term "Elect Lady" is probably intended to embrace a woman of God who has been selected for divine mercy or favor, for salvation worthy to be chosen and appointed as the help meet to her husband as he leads the flock of sheep in ministry.
May the Lord Bless you abundately
Sound of Judah Faith Ministry