So many times our wives are in positions and dealing with situations that cause them (some of them) to want to give up or just figure they don't want to deal with this. They are misunderstood, disrespected and some say they were not called to this, not this. We as Pastors which ever side you're on male or female (many female pastors) where the husband is the spouse.
We really need to understand our spouses position, the shoes their walking in. Somebody will you encourage the spouse, the helpmeet, the one we love, sleep with, companion. There are so many divisions in Leadership lets keep division out of Gods work, we all know who authors division. Satan tries any weak spot. Nehemiah mounted the wall and said I will not come down. Pastors, spouses don't come down, you're doing a good work. When a good work is going on, look up there he is, trying to hinder, tear down, stop any good work. Lets help each other, come this sight, no pray first then come to this site and talk to someone who's been there and acquainted with your grief and be restored. hb

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Pastor Brown I am so glad you opened this discussion. It is true that we often get so caught up in "God's Work" that we fail to do "our work" as husbands and wives at home. I encourage the spouses who are on BPN to come together and form a group where the very needed support can be shared.

And by the way.... I love you Rita!
I am in the midst of writing a book that deals with that very issue entitled When Marriage and Ministry Collides. Both my husband and I are ministers and I have served by his side for 10 years in ministry. With him being the Senior Pastor I have had down times where I felt like the only thing he needed me for was to be his administrator. However God had to show both of us a place of balance in our life so that we wouldn't neglect one another or our children. It is so easy to get caught up in the work of the ministry that we forget our primary ministry, "our Homes".
ITS AMAZING HOW GOD HEALS. BEING A WIFE A PREACHER A MOTHER AND ENTREPENUR IS A TREMENDOUS TASK. I REALIZE THAT HEARING GODS VOICE FIRST, AND THEN APPLYING IT TO MY EVERDAY TASK AND OBLIGATIONS HAS BROUGHT SO MUCH PEACE TO MY SPIRIT AT FIRST I WAS RUNNING LIKE A CHICKEN WITH HIS HEAD CUT OFF. NOT KNOWING WHAT SHOULD BE FIRST IN MY LIFE. NOW I CAN SAY JESUS IS THE HEAD AND WITH HIS LEADING I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH,
PROPHETESS SEPTIMA WILLIAMS
Dear Pastor Horace Brown,

Our hearts goes out too you and your family, especially to all the wives. I Rev. P. Quinn has walked in both pair of shoes, the First Lady & Co-Pastor shoes; each pair shoes has taken me higher in the Lord.

I promise you "Church Folk" will make you cry many of nights; and all you are trying to do, is keep them out of hell. Sometimes when our members/churchfolks are not prayed up it easly for satan to used them to distract the work of the Lord.

Leadership, especially First Lady and Co-Pastor see a lots of thing behind the scene, that no one else see or hear. That is because God can trust us with that information. Yet, we have to come before the people as if nothing is wrong.

But remember if you let "Church Folk" get you upset, that mean you have let them get inside of you "Keep them Out" of your spirit.

Sr. Pastor Quinn and I have been married for 10 yrs and "WE DO NOT BRING CHURCH HOME". I'm remember times when we have stayed at church and went to the altar, to make sure we wouldn't take it home. "WHY ?" We have three childrens 29 yrs, 28 yrs and 20yrs and we adopted 15 yrs old but he's 19 now, we have 3 grandchildrens 9yrs,8 yrs,4ys of age.

We make time for all of them, sometime we go to their job and have lunch or meet at the pizza place for dinner. With our grandchildren; going to one of the baseball games or just having icecream is call "Famly Day"

I recall one Sunday when I too didn't want to go back to church! and the Holy Spirit quicken to me to say "That Church Folk" would only going to loose a Pastor, but "WE" would loose a Pastor, Husband, Dad, Grandfather. and so much more, that was too much too loose. "So I told satan let the games begin" I had to pray, fast and consecrate more everyday to keep my flesh under control. Because my family and I wasn't going to loose out like that.

Let me encourge you; Satan want the head and that Pastor Brown. This year I will celebrate my "47" Birthday, and I have look in a lot of the same people faces who hurt me and my family and made us cry many of tears, many was in hospital bed, stricking with uncureable diseases, and some in coffin.

If you stay on the battfield, I promise you that God will handle your enemies. Yes, you will have to cry, and yes it will hurt, but remember God is Jehovah Gomlah-The Lord of recompense; the one who repays.

I'm available, I'm never to busy to hear a "Silent Cry"

Rev. P. Quinn, Co-pastor
I don't know all that pastors and first ladies go through, I am sure they have their share of heart aches and pains, joys and laughter as well. But being a member sitting in the pew. I find that if they would wholly give way to being led by the Holy Spirit it will be better in the house of God for all. I would say take a look at what Jesus did. Preach the word don't worry about who obey or don't obey. Don't be confused remember peoples obedience should be to God and not to man. Don't put on people your personal likes and dislikes and put that on God. Put people in positions that God has told you to put. Not people who you like or who gives a lot of money. Please God did not give spiritual gifts just to your family members. Most times I find that the true anointed people who walk with God or deliberately overlooked in the churches because they refused to be manipulated. If something is not right in the spirit and they take a stand they are labeled as unteachable or rebellious. Another thing quit adding all those different ministries in the church and just save souls by preaching the gospel. So much money is wasted. The vision for all churches is to preach the gospel to save themselves and others. There is no other vision. Jesus Christ came to seek and to save that which was lost. This is very simple. Follow how he did it and the way the Apostles did it they turned the world upside down without tv ministry another money waster in the church. I tell you if churches would have signs and wonders following their ministry there would be no room left in the church houses.. But all I see they have is good words and fair speeches. After that nothing else. Jesus said greater works than what he did we would do. Why is it not happening. All we settle for is just a sermon. the bible says that God confirmed their words by signs and wonders. Where are the gifts of the spirit in the churches all you have going on is the gift of pastor. There are nine gifts of the spirit word of knowledge, word of wisdom, miracles, healings, discerning of spirits, tongues and tongues interpretations, faith , prophecy and the five fold ministries pastor, prophets, teachers, evangelists, apostles. all given for the edification of the body of christ. We can't be perfected with just a pastor. People are sitting in the pew with gifts god has given but can't go forth because pastors hog the pulpit every sunday & wednesday. The body has more than just one member. If only one member is working the body is dysfunctional. God designed the body to work together in the spirit. Carnal things are carnal things. Spiritual things are spritual things. do not confuse the two. Another thing I see is the greed for money. The spirit of covetouness is reigning in the churches but again they are trying to put that on God too. Money cannot buy spiritual things. Thou art rich and increased with goods but knowest not that thou art wretched and blind and naked. The things of God cannot be purchased with money at any time. The blood of Jesus christ paid for all that we enjoy in the spirit realm. Amen.
This was absolutely well said. Thank you for saying it.
I would just like to say or add to this discussion that we must remember to pray for those in leadership and those that have been called out by God to lead a flock of His sheep in to salvation and holiness. We also need to remember their spouses that labor alongside of them in prayer and deed. We must honor them and respect them as they carry and bring the Word of Life to the people God. I also believe that for them, pastors, first ladies, co-pastors..... in order to not get bogged down and burdened down is to remember the Lord of the work...we enjoy doing the work of the Lord and get all caught up in that and then we forget or put aside the LORD of the work in which we are engrossed. Just remembering that will take away that burden..these are God's people and all you can do is to give what God tells you to give, say what He tells you to say, and be all that He has called you to be...after that go home and blessed the Lord with out regret or doubt! We can no more make a person do something then we can make a horse to drink after we have fought to get them to the watering hole and then they just stand there.....I thank God that He knows His people and He knows how to take care of us and love us and enjoy us..to all you pastors and first ladies and supporters I praise God for you and all that you do for God and His people...Praying for you and encouraging you in the Lord!
Miss Mona ~Kingdom Queen
If Americans had not instituted "First Lady" or "Elect Lady" in the first place, there would not be so much pressure put on male pastor's wives to have a certain image, meet unrealistic expectations, and conform to a cultural concept that has no scriptural significance. First of all, there is NO such position in the true church of God, nor in the Kingdom of the Kingdom of God. The church in the west has MADe this a position in the church. It seems the be the 6-fold office of the 5-fold ministry. This is certainly an anomaly.

What I do not understand is how the prophets and apostles, who should know the mind, mode, mouth, and mood of God have failed to cry out against this false position. The title and postion of First Lady was an adaption from the world's concept of the wife a governmental aristocrat. Why have we mimicked the world, and played into the flesh of both male preachers and the females who desire to be their limelight wives? Moreover, the fleshly duplication of the world's system has placed undue stress on these women, their marriages, their children (as 1st Family), and even on the pastors themselves. It makes these women vulnerable to attack from other women in the congregation. Being boxed into a box created by well-off Caucasian leaders subjects these women to o abuse by those who have concocted their job descriptions--if any, and to pressure by an expectation that people have, but that God does not have.

Why do we continue to perpetuate wordly systmes in the church? I'm sure a few have questioned why we have such a position and entitlement when there is no scripture to support it. But for the most part, the term and position is generally accepted as a valid church positions. The term "elect-lady" is often suppoprted by faulty interpretation fo the scripture and butchering of the text. It has little to do with the position we created to show-case a male preacher's wife. Such a concoction in the church has done far more damage than good.
Bishop, you take a very "interesting" stance on this topic. I actually had not given it much thought, because I have always felt it only proper to give some sort of "deference" (as opposed to indifference) to the person who is "one" with the pastor. The question then would lead to how much deference should we show our pastors? Should their wives be held in any position at all? This is a very new thought for me to chew on. But it is a question I MAY pose to local pastors and clergy (I am the publisher of Christian Impact News newspaper and online www.christianimpactnews.com). We are instructed to focus on those things that are pure and just and right... so I am not sure where this topic falls. What do you have to say to this?
Respectfully yours,
Jack Byars
God Bless You Man of God:

First let me say that I applaud your openness. I find that quality so rare...so I must applaud it, along with your diplomacy.

Yes Sir, I do believe that is proper to give deference to those in authority, and to put a difference between common and uncommon. I think we do not have nearly enough of it in this narcissistic culture and democratic form of government which both dismiss authority as necessary to human development. You are right; we MUST focus on what is pure, just, and right. The standard for such goes beyond the limitations of historical texts (scripture); but rather, the standard of such is in the Originator of all things, the Self-Existent One. Does it matter to Him? Probably not. I think if such a position did matter to God, certainly the prophets and apostles of old would have captured that and it would have been in the text.

The pastor's wife is just that--HIS wife...not an elect lady of the church. People find it odd that I take such a position being that I myself am a woman. If this position is of God, then what should the husband of a female pastor be considered--"the FIRST MAN"? Should people respect my husband simply because he was my choice in a mate? No they should respect him for who and what he is in the Kingdom--not who he married. This is a cultural preference that has little to do with the Kingdom of God, divine protocol, or divine order. If the spouse of a leader is also called and anointed by God, and sanctioned by ecclesiastical authority, they should be held in honor and esteem for that reason, not for who their choice in a marriage partner is. Let me know what you think, Sir, and thank you again for your kind response and inquiry. Best wished with your publication.

Apostle S. J. Hyman
is there a real difference between "first lady" and "elect lady"
b/c at my church we no longer so first lady we say elect lady
Dearest Sister in Christ. God bless you.
Yes there is a difference. I am an Lady Elect Soareaglia I do not want to, and prefer not to be addressd as
First Lady. The first lady slang"is used and derived from the secular world, Quote "The Presidents of United States Wives" It is not scriptural. That is the trouble with the church, it uses derivitives and slogans from the world, and then cohabitate them into their sermons.John 7:16-18, John 3: 11. Jesus says I only speak and do what "My Father says for me to say, and only what He wants me to do. If we study the life & ministry of Jesus, He did not speak/glorify self.He glorified God all throughout His ministry & life here on earth.

In the Epistle of 2 JOhn 2:1"Quote The Elder unto the Elect Lady"& children whom I love in the truth & not I only, but also all they that have known the truth.",elected, chosen operate, assist in her role in the church. So, when we use same terminology as the world does, it tells us that we have missed the real true christian way the Bible declares to us.

Blessings to you

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