by Joan Bellot and Dr E. Laurent



It was March, and the year like a fast moving train was catapulting at breakneck speed towards yet another year but I was not on board. I had been left sitting on the sidewalk of life, my life in shambles. I was in a state of un-readiness for the life train as it sped past me. I found myself wandering aimlessly around not knowing how to handle the hand that life had dealt me. Pain and misery seemed to be the rule of the day and there was no reprieve from the constant turmoil that had taken up residence in my life. I felt cornered, nowhere to turn, nowhere to go and it seemed that there was no one there for me. Have you ever had your world come to a screeching halt and there was no where to turn or no one to turn to?

Morning, noon and night I prayed to God for help and reminded Him that He promised to supply my needs and that He said He would not leave me nor forsake me. “Why was He leaving me now”?

“God I have been faithful and Lord I am in need right now. Please answer and supply as you promised” I prayed.

Where is my God!

Why has He not answered my prayers?

I’ve tried to live a good Christian life and put God first in all I’ve done; I paid my tithes and I have been kind to others. Yes, I’ve stumbled and fell in my walk with God but my utmost desire has always been to please God. I read my Bible daily and prayed,

“search me oh God and know my heart today”

Why did God not answer my prayers? Why has God forsaken me in this my time of need? Those were some of the silent screams that echoed through my head.

My prayers became frantic and my tears flowed! I remember hearing people say that God does not give you more than you could bear; oh yes! This was more than I could bear. The need for deliverance clutched at my very soul and I needed a breakthrough.

I found myself questioning my faith, the very things I held sacred, the scriptures I had memorized as a child became my constant torture…. No good thing will God withhold ………….ye have not, for ye ask not………. If this was testing time then I was failing miserably.

Lord! you helped the children of Israel and rolled the sea before them and allowed them to go through on dry ground; Lord the wall of Jericho fell before the children of Israel without them lifting one finger; Lord you commanded the sun to stand still and fought Israel’s battle for them, Lord!!……. David was able to kill Goliath when you helped him; Lord you shut the lion’s mouth for Daniel; here I am Lord, my life is in shambles please hear and answer my prayer. Deliver me! Still no answer! God seemed to have moved out of my life, my affairs, my house and even the State I lived in.

“I may bow to the elements but I will not break” but oh yes, I was at breaking point............. Continue reading at:

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