You might be a bootleg preacher if...

[Yuri Solomon]

1. You need a month's notice to prepare. (Solomon)
2. Preaching is low on your priority list. (Solomon)
3. No one even knows you're a preacher. (Solomon)
4. You are asked to pray alter prayer and you hurridly decline. (Epps)
5. You won't go to some engagements because the money isn't right. (Epps)
6. You spend more money on your clothes then you would books. (Epps)
7. Churches invite you to sang on program more than they do to preach. (Epps)
8. You go to the convention dressed to the T but don't have no money to eat. (Epps)
9. Your preaching is just a collection of popular cliches by other preachers. (Mckneely)
10. You are afraid to preach at some churches because they actually know the bible. (Solomon)
11. The deacon's short talk has more word than your sermon. (Solomon)
12. Reading the scripture is like the national anthem, it has nothing to do with what follows.(Solomon)
13. You have your own quartet group. (KB)
14. You made your own self a bishop. (KB)
15. A sports star wears suits more often than you. (Solomon)
16. Your text and title changes, but not your sermon. (Solomon)
17. You can't pray for the offering without WHOOPING. (Joubert)
18. You email pastors via BPN asking for preaching opportunities. (Joubert)
19. People would rather SEE your suit than HEAR your sermon. (Joubert)
20. You got your calling yesterday and started preaching today (KB)
21. Your convention attendance is better than your church attendance (Joubert)
22. Your members refer to you by a cool nickname you have thought up. (Solomon)
23. Your sermon close only consists of a string of songs (White)
24. Your wife & kids are the only members of your congregation (White)
25. Your car looks better than your church (White)
26. You're preaching against domestic violence while your wife is on the second pew wearing sun glasses (White)
27. Your pulpit is a dining chair with a tablecloth over it. (Servant)
28. Your love offering is bigger than the tithes and offering (Servant)
29. The mother of your church is a 28 year old grandmother. (Servant)
30. You think that the Book of Hezekiah is in the Old Testaments. (Servant)
31. Your sermon ends immediately because the lights went out. (Joubert)
32. Each piece of your three-piece suit comes from a different Easter. (Joubert)
33. You pray, “Our Father, which art in heaven, HOLLYWOOD be thy name.” (Joubert)
34. People refer to you as "doctor" but you can't spell it. (Joubert)
35. Your church lights are cut off for a $300 bill while you take home a $1500 check (Solomon)
36. Your new wife and ex-wife both belong to your church (Solomon)
37. You did not graduate high school and call yourself doctor.(Bey)
38. You buy "hot" merchandise and testify the Lord blessed you with it.(Servant)
39. You're always collecting building fund money and there is still no building and no fund.(Servant)
40. Your chairman of deacons is the neighborhood drug dealer. (Servant)
41. You hand out wrinkled business cards with a pre-scratched out phone number.(Servant)
42. The church utilities are in a dead relative's name.(Servant)
43. The announcements are longer than the sermon.(Servant)
44. You and the chairman of deacons share eyeglasses.(Servant)
45. You may lose your anointing if someone touches you.(Servant)
46. You believe your members should do as you say and not as you do.(Servant)
47. Your 3 night revival is used as a fundraiser and you don't pay the evangelist.(Joubert)
48. You believe in paying the musician more than the preacher.(Solomon)
49. Your preaching boils down to you imitating another preacher. (Malbro)
50. You use real wine for communion and always take the leftover home.(Solomon)
51. Your church is a walk-in closet and the mic system takes up half the space.(Solomon)
52. Your study is bigger than your sanctuary.(Mckneely)
53. Your wife is church clerk, mission president, head usher, and announcing clerk.(Mckneely)
54. Your church has no money but you write a salary check each week as IOU.(Mckneely)

(Please feel free to add to the list... (serious and/or tongue-in-cheek)

[Yuri Solomon]

if your text and title changes, but not your sermon.

[Patrick D. Joubert]

You might be a bootleg preacher if you cant pray for the offering without praying for the sick and afflicted all over the land and country while you are WHOOPING...

[Patrick D. Joubert]

If you email preachers/pastors via BPN to ask for a preaching engagement or inviting yourself to preach....You MIGHT be a bootlegger...

[Patrick D. Joubert]

You might be a bootleg preacher if people would rather SEE your suit than HEAR your message....(I done sent myself IN)

[Yuri Solomon]

You got called to preach in the cornfield one day and started preaching the next (KB)

[Patrick D. Joubert]

You might be a bootleg preacher if you are seen more often at the convention than you are at your own church....

[Yuri Solomon]

If your members refer to you by a cool nickname you have thought up.

[Pastor Michael White, II]

23. Your close consists of a string of songs (White)
24. If you only pastor your wife & kids (White)
25. If your car looks better than your church (White)
26. If your sermon touches on domestic violence & your wife is on the second pew wearing sun glasses (White)

[Patrick D. Joubert]

You might be a BOOTLEG preacher if: When the lights go while you are preaching your sermon is OVER and you SIT DOWN....

You might be a BOOTLEG preacher if: You have on a 3 - piece suit and each piece is from a different EASTER...

You might be a BOOTLEG preacher if: The only close you have toALL your messages is the Calvary Story...

You might be a BOOTLEG preacher if: You pray our father, which art in heaven, HOLLYWOOD IS THY NAME...

[Patrick D. Joubert]

You might be a BOOTLEG preacher if: you are a Doctor but you can't spell it...Tell 'em Jube said it and he is NOT taking it back...

[Minister Robbin Swinger Otey]

you might be a bootleg preacher...

37. if you spend time on the internet bashing your brothers.
38. if you call yourself an apostle but you have not established any works.
39. if you call yourself a doctor and you only have a high school diploma and no formal teaching or training in ministry of any type
40. if you have slept with 3 women all sitting on the front pew of your church
41. if you have a wife and you still trying to "get some" from that pretty young thang
42. if you are a woman calling yourself apostle/bishop with no affirmation from the Lord.
43. if you can't keep enough members to keep the bills paid (get a job!)
44. if you have moor children then adults at every service

shall i go on??? LOL this is fun...
...........................................................................................

[Patrick D. Joubert]

Woman of God...I done HOLLERED OUT to the top of my voice....
#43