Why Do So Many so called single Christian men still play Worldly head games.

[Rita A Powell]

I was really trying to wait for you Ja Ja but I need understanding now;
For awhile now I have been on several Christian dating networks and I am getting the same game players, and constant demands for sex that I was getting on the Worldly sites. This has me totally confused. Christian men are not suppose to be basing a relationship on how much sex they can get this is just not my ideas of a True Christian man. I am looking for the man who lives by Gods Word but I am finding just the opposite. These men seem to be overlooking or forgetting the scriptures such as Corithians and Ephesians that tell them what they should be doing to refrain from sexual immorality.
They should be looking for a woman who has or is learning to live with the Character of God by letting the righteousness of Jesus live in them. Looks, sex and whatever else should not be a basis for a relationship. To me a persons character outweighs everything else.
How can one expect God to bless their relationship when they are in sin. You know God does not honor sin. I am tlking about the men here but their are some women who also need to check themselves. Are you lowering your Christian values just to say you have a man? Now please don't misunderstand me I have made mistakes too but then it came a time when I looked at those mistakes and said God help me? I now have made a total committment to God and will not give up my Christian values for anyone. If that means I will be alone then so be it. I pray everyday for God to show me if it is His Will for me to remain single if that is t he case then I will accept it and move on.
I really would like to hear from my true Christian Sister's and brothers out there.

[Evangelist Cookie Hunter]

My Sister, i am in total agreement with you on this. And as i have found, on this site and others, the responses to these type of questions seem to bring the more wrath rather than teaching in love. I am so sick of so-called christians who pretend to be all that and have no concept of what a true husband or a true wife is all about, according to scripture (Note: read my blog on "What should i be looking for in a husband/wife?") I would love for there to be more conversation about this also. Let us pray that true men and women of God would step out and give us the understanding and knowledge that is needed, especially during these times of confusion in this world. And stop condemning those who wish to be married in the sanctity that God has ordained.
Evangelist Cookie

[DAVID SERVING JESUS]

Acts- 28 Vs 26 TO 27

[Evangelist Cookie Hunter]

True, but they are not doing what the word says.

[Rita A Powell]

The next verse 28 says that the gentiles will hear but none of todays men seem to be hearing, why is this so difficult for men who say they love the Lord.?

[DAVID SERVING JESUS]

Acts- 28 Vs 26 TO 27

[Evangelist Cookie Hunter]

Question: "What should I be looking for in a husband?"

Answer: When a Christian woman is looking for a husband, the primary quality she should be seeking is a man “after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22). The most important relationship that any of us have is our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. That relationship comes before every other relationship. If our vertical relationship with the Lord is on a day-by-day grace basis, then our horizontal relationships will reflect that reality. Therefore, a potential husband should be a man who has his focus upon walking in obedience to God's Word and who seeks to live so that his life brings glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

What are some other qualities to look for? The apostle Paul gives us a great source for the qualities we should look for in a husband in 1 Timothy chapter 3. In this passage are the qualifications for an elder / pastor / overseer / deacon in the church body. However, these qualities should grace the lives of any man who walks “after God's heart." The qualities can be paraphrased as follows: This man should be patient and controlled in his demeanor, not filled with pride but of sober mental attitude, able to master his emotions, given to graciousness to others, able to patiently teach, not given to drunkenness or uncontrolled use of any of God's gifts, not prone to violence, not overly focused upon the details of life but focused upon God, not a man who is apt to be a hot-head or be thin-skinned so that he takes offense easily, and one who is grateful for what God has given, rather than envious of what gifts others have received.

In other words, what we have here is the description of a man who is actively engaged in the process of becoming a mature believer. That is the type of man a woman should look for as a potential husband. Yes, physical attraction, similar interests, complementary strengths and weaknesses, a desire for children, etc., are things to consider. These things, though, must take a secondary role to the spiritual qualities a woman should look for in a man. A man whom you can trust, respect, and follow in the path of godliness is of far greater value than a man of good looks, fame, power, or money.

Finally, when "looking" for a husband, we must be of the mindset that is surrendered to God's will in our lives. As we rest in God's provision for us, He will bring into our lives opportunities and tests. Not all things that seem like opportunities are good, and not all tests are bad. It is the choice to rest in God's grace in whatever situation that is at issue. Every woman wants to find her "prince charming," but the reality is that she will probably marry a man with as many flaws as she has. Then, by God's grace, they will spend the rest of their lives together learning how to be a partner to, and servant of, each other. We must enter into the second-most-important relationship of our lives (marriage), not under an emotional cloud, but with eyes open. Our most important relationship, with our Lord and Savior, has to be the focus of our lives.





Question: "What should I be looking for in a wife?"

Answer: The most important personal relationship that a man can have, outside of his spiritual relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, is his relationship with his wife. In the process of looking for a wife, the utmost principle is to look for a woman with a personal faith in Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Unless a man and woman are in full agreement on this most crucial issue, a godly and fulfilling marriage cannot take place.

However, marrying a fellow believer does not guarantee the full experience of being "equally yoked." The fact that a woman is a Christian does not mean she is necessarily a good match for you spiritually. Does she have the same spiritual goals as you? Does she have the same doctrinal beliefs as you? Does she have the same passion for God as you? The question of what qualities to seek in a potential wife is crucially important. Far too many men marry for emotional or physical attraction alone, and that can be a recipe for failure.

The Lord asked of Israel, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3). This is the ideal, but the reality is that married couples will not always agree. However, we can agree to disagree within the structure of God's order. Therefore, a clear mental attitude about our expectations and communication one to the other about them is important, and it should take place before marriage, not after. Negotiations are easier before the contract is signed and sealed. We must never marry with the idea that we can change our partner after marriage.

What are some godly qualities a man can look for in a wife? Scripture gives us some principles we can use to create a picture of a woman with wife-potential. She should first be surrendered in her own spiritual relationship with the Lord. The Apostle Paul tells the wife that she is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). If a woman is not surrendered to the Lord, she will not be likely to see submission to her husband as necessary to her own spiritual well-being. We cannot fulfill the expectations of anyone else without first allowing God to fill us with Himself. A woman with God at the center of her life is a good candidate for a wife.

The Apostle Paul also gives some quality traits for a woman in his instructions about the qualifications that a leader in the church should have (1 Timothy 3). We find those qualities in 1 Timothy 3:11: “In the same way, their [deacons] wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” In other words, this is a woman that is not overly proud, knows when to speak and when to be silent, and is able to take her place beside her husband in confidence. She is a woman whose first focus is upon her relationship with the Lord and her own spiritual growth.

The responsibilities of marriage are greater for the husband, for God's order places him as the head of his wife and his family. This headship is modeled after the relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). It is a relationship based in love. As Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, the husband is to love his wife as he does his own body. Therefore, a man's personal spiritual relationship with the LORD is of supreme importance in the success of his marriage and his family. Willing sacrifice, and the strength to choose to be a servant to the betterment of his marriage, are the marks of a maturing spiritual man who honors God. Wisely choosing a wife based upon biblical qualities is important, but of equal importance is a man's own ongoing spiritual growth and his surrender to God's will in his life. A man with his eyes on God and who is seeking to be the man God wants him to be will be able to help his wife be the woman God desires her to be and will be able to build the marriage into the union God, he, and his wife desire it to be.

[Rita A Powell]

++Thank you Evangelist Hunter for that information and I have been readeing myself and practicing those virtues for 16 years in preparation of bein a good wife to my husband. God is definitely first in my life.
myproblem is that I have yet to find a man who is doing the same fully. Most do not even take time to get to know me of to find out where I am Spiritually they just want to talk about sex or what ever subject leading up to it and I am one who cuts them off quickly thus not finding a relationship I can even be in yet.

[Angie/Shinetoday]

Love=respect. Love=commitment.
I counsel with young women and I hear the same story again and again. In each case they found a boy that really lavished time and attention on them and then came the day they found themselves in the situation of hearing..if you really loved me you would do this.and if you don't I will be out of your life. This puts the ball in the womans court and she is faced with do I do this, or do I lose him and many times they don't want to lose the man but don't want to do this either. The answer I give them is the next time he says if you really love me you'll do this...is the time to tell him no, if you really loved me you wouldn't even ask, it's disrespecting me and even more than that..you don't have respect for yourself or you wouldn't ask. If they really do love you they are still going to be there..if not, then you can step back and let them move on knowing they only wanted you for one thing. I can't tell you the number of young women that didn't do that and didn't get someone elses advice and did get pregnant and dumped much to their horror and disbelief from someone who said they loved them. and the person that loved them moved quickly into yet another relationship.This is like a double dose of pain and a woman that is left alone, shattered and afraid.. I know one young man that had 4 different girls pregnant by him, the babies were born within 4 months of each other. For what this one man did when he was 18, he decided to stop for the rest of his life because the child support pymts of 4 children kept him working 3 jobs now for the next 18 years. Not all men are bad, there are some very good ones out there too. This was geared more toward the teens..so now I will tell you my opinion..
What you want in a man from a dating site is one that cares about you as a person, your needs, your wellbeing and giving you the highest respect. I talked to one woman that was on several dating sites and she was quite attractive..She was also very sick of men's sexual comments and getting roses in the mail and feeling like, in her own words, a piece of meat on a meat market." Then she met someone online who didn't do this..and showed his love in very beautiful and respectful ways. She looked forward to hearing from him each day and laughed alot and enjoyed him as a person too. They finally did date and he took her to the ocean and took her to a gift shop and he bought and paid for her some sandals and other beach clothing she didn't have. He cared on a daily basis for her and her needs, he would get himself lunch and get her some too and bring it to her..call her several times a day to see if she was okay or needed anything. She ended up marrying him and is very happy... she feels loved very much..
Marriage is probably the biggest step one takes in this lifetime and not something to rush into.. There is a man on every corner and they will all tell you they love you...but then it's your place to see that maybe on this corner this person has a serious drug problem or mental illness or a criminal record and abusive..I'm just using men here as an example but is true to women too. Too many people find out too late and the hard way that maybe someone isn't loving them in the way they would like but is loving them with all they are capable of. There are many women in Sam Vaknin's Narccistic Abuse group online that got married and learned their husband were full blown narcissists which means they aren't capable of love or understanding..What their life is, is cycles..the narcissist needs narcisstic supply which means constant attention but to a person married to one it means unending stress, exhaustion, confusion and being jerked up and down, emotionally.
Same is true with married women that have spent decades with a man that is a alcoholic or drug user,, having the faintest hope that it will all come to an end and have that man that is whole and loves them..but what it really means is many years of sitting in al-anon meetings and their homes and lives jerked away from them at times because you have a person that is not reliable and could get a DUI or drug conviction at any time. One woman had terminal cancer and a husband living in bars and the end of her life was spent getting phone calls from his girlfriends threatening to beat her up for being such a lousy and worthless wife to her husband. Then he would come home drunk and treat her horribly himself too yet.sometimes it was more than verbal abuse but she didn't tell anyone..She died knowing that she kept her marriage vows no matter how bad it was and that in death she would never have pain again.
Even with all of this, there is no guarentees....but you can sure stack the odds in your favor of something that will work and not waste your time on ones that aren't worthy of your time.. If a man is treating his mother horribly , he will treat you that way too..and observe how his dad treats his mom too and you will have a good idea of the environment he was raised up in and what he sees and thinks a relationship is. Just my .02 and very blessed not to have been there and done that..because of the experience of others sadly going through these things..I learned and didn't make those same mistakes..

[Prophet Preston Jenkins]

HE, NOT SHE, BUT HE THAT FIND A WIFE, FIND A GOOD THING AS WE ALL KNOW THE BIBLE SAYS FIRST OF ALL!!!!! CARNALITY AND THE SECULAR WORLD IS NOW PRESENTED AS CHRISTIANITY AND HOLINESS. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE FROM REGUALAR DATING SITES THAN CHRISTIAN DATING SITES THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THE WORD CHRISTIAN THAT DID NOT DERIVE FROM JESUS BUT A BUNCH OF GREEKS LONG TIME AGO. ONCE A MAN OR A WOMAN BE COMPLETE BY CHRIST AND CHRIST ALONE, THERE IS NO WAY THEY CAN EXPECT REAL MAN OR REAL WOMAN OF GOD BY CHARACTER TO ENTER THEIR LIFE BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL SEARCHING WHICH PROVES THAT THEY ARE NOT SETTLED AND WHOLE IN CHRIST THEMSELVES!!!! RELIGION HAVE THE MIND OF GOD'S CHILDREN BLINDED WITH A SELFRIGHTEOUS SPIRIT, TO WHERE EVERYBODY THINKS JUST BECAUSE A PERSON IS A CHRISTIAN THEY ARE HOLY OR SUPPOSE TO LIVE HOLY, THEY ARE STILL FLESH AND IF THEY ARE NOT FEEDING THEIR SPIRIT MAN AND FOLLOWING THE HOLY BIBLE BY LEARNING HOW TO PUT THEIR FLESH UNDER SUBJECTION WHEN THEY ARE TEMPTED BY THEIR ON LUSTFUL DESIRES, OR CRUCIFYING THE FLESH , OR ACTUALLY ALLOWING CHRIST SPIRIT TO PURGE THEM AND SANCTIFY THEM FROM DAY TO DAY AS THEY DENY APPETITES OF THE FLESH , THAN THEY ARE CARNAL MINDED, BABES IN CHRIST THAT HAVE NOT YET COME TO MATURITY IN DISCIPLINING THEIR BODIES SO THAT THE ANOINTING AND LIFE OF CHRIST MAY SAVE THOSE THAT ARE LOST. A CARNAL MINDED PERSON CARE FOR THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE OPERATING IN THE FLESH AND CAN NO LONGER PLEASE GOD BECAUSE THE FLESH IS ENMITY AGANIST GOD. SO NOW THE CHILD OF GOD, MAN OR WOMAN THATS SINGLE ALSO HAVE TO GROW TO MATURITY AND STOP LOOKING AND SEARCHING FOR A MATE AND JUST FOCUS ON THE WILL OF GOD AND SOULS THAT ARE IN BONDAGE THAT NEED DELIVERANCE. WHEN SINGLE WOMEN FAST AND CONSECRATE THEIR OWN FLESH INSTEAD OF CONDENMING THE MAN, THAN THEY ARE NOT GOING TO EVEN HAVE A DESIRE TO SEARCH FOR ONE BECAUSE THE SPIRIT OF GOD WILL THEN TAKE OVER THEM FOR THE WORK AND EVIDENCE OF GOD'S WILL WHICH IS MUCH URGENT THAN A WIFE, HUSBAND, CAR, HOUSE, MONEY, FRIENDS& FAMILY, SO THEN THE WORK AND WILL OF GOD WILL BE THEIR PRIORITY THAN A MAN!!!! IN THIS SEASON THE SPIRIT OF GOD IS MAKING VISITATION AND THE SPIRIT OF GOD BEGINS TO GRIEVE WHEN HE SEE HIS CHILDREN CONCERN ABOUT THE THINGS OF THE WORLD INSTEAD OF HIM AND WHATS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE IN THE LIVES OF BELIEVERS, CAN WE WAIT ON GOD AND KEEP OUR MIND ON THE THINGS OF GOD FOR AT LEAST A SECOND. THERE MAY BE A REAL MAN OF GOD BY MATURITY AND DISCIPLINE AROUND YOU , BUT IF HE HEARS THAT YOU ARE GOING ON A DATING SITE SEARCHING FOR A MAN, HE MAY JUST PASS YOU BY BECAUSE HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR ANOTHER WOMAN THATS LOOKING FOR A MAN , BUT A REAL MAN OF GOD IN MATURITY WANTS A WOMAN THATS ABOUT HER FATHERS BUSINESS AND WORKING IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD FOR THE GLORY OF GOD, TO WHERE SHE DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO SIGN INTO A DATING SHOW BECAUSE SHE'S STUDYING HER BIBLE AND FASTING TO SAVE SOULS!!!!

[Prophetess/EVG Lorraine Joseph]

AMEN AND AGAIN I SAY AMEN!!!!!!!

[Rita A Powell]

I respect your opinons but you cannot say that about every woman or man. It took me along time to even be ready to have another man in my life. I have done this with the help of the Lord. I am on Christian sites just to le t Christian men men know I am available but I am also very much about my fathers business. I have been a widow for 16 years and I am now ready to have a man in my life. I am looking forward to the day when I have a mate I can minister with. I make it plain that I am a true Christian woman looking for a True Christian man. I just was not expecting to find that their seems to be so few True Christian men out there. When you are carring yourself within the Character of God you expect that other's are doing the same. I still believe that there are some True Christian men out there somewhere.

[Missionary.Shamekia Norfolk]

I am agreeing with you on a one hundred basis I am a single mom of four children and I ask god on a daily basis to show me his will for my life.I to have meet men that their minds are just one tracked minds. And when God begin to show you them and you begin to grow apart from them they get mad and tell you that you were not the one anyway. I"m beginning to think that God has something very important and very special for me to do.Because I"m not married but I"m also not struggling and I have a mind made up to run this race until the very end of time that also means that if i have to run it along i will God is my lover my comforter and my provider when i need to feel a pair of strong arms wrapped around me i call on MY MAN JESUS.And we always have us a special night with no fussing no arguing just love from one another.So until God sends me my husband my soul mate.He is all that i will ever need.