Red Flags- An Exploration of dating do's and don'ts!
Here are a few signs that will let you know whether or not you are
talking to someone who is a good match or not! These are a few rules
that i have chosen to share from my own experience.

1. Email and Chatting.
He/She sends you a note asking for your phone number or email address.
He calls and you talk to 10 minutes. He emails you later and wants to
chat online. Does he/she stand a chance as a prospective mate?

No, i don't think so. More often than not, he wants to live out his
fantasy about having cybersex (Phone Sex) with you. (he can have lots of
porn staring him in the face while chatting with you.)

2. Phone calls.
He/She calls and you start to talk. Five minutes go by and you haven't
gotten a word in edgewise. Will you be talking again soon?

Absolutely not! He/She is very self-centered and is not into you.

3. Changes in your appearance or lifestyle. He/She wants you to change
anything- ie. shaving you pubic area, what to wear around them, how you
should act around them.

Tell them "Thanks but no thanks!"

4. First Dates.
He/She calls and you set a date for your first visit together.

Make sure to plan to meet in a public place. If you go to lunch, be
prepared to pay for your own lunch on the first date. By no means allow
them to come to your place on the first date.

If he/she doesn't call the next day, it means they didn't find you
attractive enough and they never will call back. Move on and don't look

Additional Red Flags

If they constantly wants to talk about sex.
If they have issues like getting angry quickly.
If they are overly possesive of you even before marriage.
If they want to isolate you from family and friends.
If they shows any signs of potentially abusive behaviors!
If they are not spiritually compatable ie. they are a babe in Christ and
you are a seasoned saint for example. If you can't encourage him or her
to get into a bible based church or a bible study, they are not for

If he or she calls you any term of endearment within the first 3 phone
calls- Baby, Honey, Dear(est), Sweetie, Wifey, Shugga, Pretty,
Beautiful, Lovely, etc!

Be careful, watchful and prayerful!

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Replies to This Discussion

Thank you Minister Cookie for your wisdom. Another piece of advice, when a contact calls you late into the evening that is a big red flag. When they do that it usually means they want sex. Christian people who have a desire for sex are not evil. Sexual desire is a natural desire, a God-given desire. However, many do not have control over their thought life, causing them to yield to this natural desire. A natural desire out of control is lust. Blessings.
Amen, Rev. Darla! It has been my experience that when a man calls late at night, that either means that his wife/mate has gone to work, or he is at work or he has left the house to call me and then the sex talk begins! You are right, sex is a desire and when it is out of control, it is lust. Thank you for this addition to the red flags!


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