Help For Sexual Addictions


Help For Sexual Addictions

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Comment by Doris Trueheart on April 11, 2009 at 8:08pm
He whom you obey becomes your master
And you become his slave.
Your decision is quite serious.
Your decision is quite grave.

Your strength, his kingdom builds.
Your wealth, his coffers fills.
Your agreement, his goals do empower.
Your warfare, his enemies to devour.

There is but good and evil.
There is but life and death.
The choice you choose to make
Becomes your only test.

The consequences of your choice may be a blessing
Or may be a curse.
I pray you choose the better;
But you are free to choose the worse.
Comment by Mark H. Stevens, Th.D on April 10, 2009 at 1:49pm

The children of Israel were lured away from their relationship with the Lord by sexual sin. God constantly warned Israel not to intermarry and fornicate with the heathen nations around them. Sexual intercourse unites the parties involved emotionally; this is called a SOUL TIE. This is why married couples are not truly married until they have sexual intercourse; it is the consummation of the marriage. When sex takes place between unmarried people they are still emotionally tied to one another, this is why Israel backslid and followed the god’s of other nations. The church is modern Israel! The devil uses the SAME tactics today! That is why pornography is a 90 billion dollar a year industry! Too many pastors have 1st ladies and 2nd ladies on the side! Too many choir directors are sweeter than the morning danish! Too many women in church are being used by Satan to help tempt men to sin! I won’t leave out anyone because there is enough blame to go around WE MUST REPENT! Solomon was the worlds wisest man in the world, he was anointed by God to lead the mightiest kingdom on earth, yet he threw it all away because his desire for women. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines, and the scripture say he LOVED THEM ALL! Satan knows that woman was created for man. God created woman not only to be a companion, but also as a helper and advisor. Satan always perverts what God creates. Remember King Ahab? He was Israel’s most wicked king, guess were he got all of his advice? His wife Jezebel! (Romans chapter one; Proverbs 7:14-26; I Corinthians 7)
Comment by Mark H. Stevens, Th.D on April 10, 2009 at 10:44am
The most important part of the deliverance process is finding out what their bondages are, how the devil is operating in those bondages, and what we need to do in order to get them set free. Without that knowledge, we are going into the deliverance setting blindfolded. The Holy Spirit plays a very real and important role in this step of the process. I like to educate the person that I am ministering to for a few reasons. I can ask them questions all day long, but if I teach them how the basic areas of bondage work, they will be likely to recognize how that applies to their situation themselves. This allows both of us to better understand what is going on in their situation. I like to give them a basic understanding of soul ties, word curses (which they, their parents, others, etc. may have spoken over them), strongholds, emotional wounds, traumas, etc. Describing how these things work to the person will open their eyes to see how they need help dealing with those things in their own situation. Best of all, it helps the person I am ministering to feel very comfortable with both me and the process that I am taking them through. Of course, deliverance questionnaires are very helpful as well in these interviewing stage, and I encourage using them to uncover additional areas of bondage. Throughout the process, the Holy Spirit may be revealing or bringing to memory the things which need to be addressed. Throughout this step of the process, have a clipboard handy and make notes of anything that comes up which needs to be repented of, broken, strongholds torn down, traumas, emotional wounds, etc. It is always a good idea to ask the person about their family history to reveal possible generational bondages. If the person you are ministering to has a bondage to sexual perversion, and all of their siblings have the same bondage, then that's a good indication that you're dealing with a generational bondage.
The next step in the process is going through and begin breaking up legal grounds though repentance of sins (which opened the door to the enemy), renouncing ungodly vows, breaking soul ties, renouncing word curses, breaking generational curses, etc. During this stage, it is quite common to have alters (in cases of disassociation) as well as spirits surface and manifest, so be prepared to bind and cast if needed at this stage, but also be careful not to treat alters (hurt or wounded parts) as demons, as you can do even more damage to an already hurting part and lose it's trust (which is very important). Keep an eye out for the times when the spirits come up, for example, if a spirit surfaces while the person is breaking a soul tie, then you can be pretty sure that it is hanging onto that soul tie and is upset that you're breaking it. If you pay attention to what steps the person it taking when the spirits come up, it clues you into what kind of spirit you're dealing with. It is also helpful to stop once in a while and ask how the person feels, if they feel pressure, confusion, pain, etc., it can indicate a spirit that is manifesting. The person should also be able to tell when something has left them, as they usually feel lighter, happier, cleaner. Sometimes spirits can manifest and try to disrupt the process, and in such cases you might have to bind them and command the spirit(s) to go down while you speak and work with the person. You can always call that spirit back up later on and deal with it.
The next step that we must address at sometime here is behavioral issues. Some of these issues include self-hate, self-unforgiveness, false guilt, strongholds, unforgiveness, rejection (based on false identities), fabricated personalities (when a person becomes somebody they aren't to please or be accepted by others), etc. If the person has experienced traumas, it is important to lead them to a place of emotional healing. This is the Holy Spirit's job, but since He doesn't go where He isn't welcome, we can easily put up walls which will block His efforts to heal our wounds. These blocks can be in place through fear as a result of guilt, for example. This is why it is important to deal with any issues of guilt, fear, self-rejection, etc. The person needs to come to a place where they see themselves as who they are in Christ (what God's Word says about them), clean, forgiven, washed with the Blood, and they also need to see God as a loving and kind heavenly Father as opposed to a cruel and distant taskmaster. They also need to come to a place of forgiving those who have wronged or hurt them. Another important thing to do is bring them to a place of honoring their parents. Now for those who have suffered abuse and terrible childhoods, we are not asking them to honor their parents in things which are dishonorable. We honor our parents to the extent that they honor the Lord. If all we can do is thank God and give them honor for using them to bring us into this world, then it is important that they do just that, which makes it much easier to forgive them. There are a lot of issues that can be addressed in this step of the process, but it plays an irreplaceable role in getting the person set free and healed of emotional wounds, traumas, abuse, etc.
By now, you should have a legal pad full of notes, which clues you into what spirits that need to be bound and cast out. Taking authority in Jesus' name, you can begin to bind a spirit to all of it's kind in the person (this allows you to cast out an entire nest of demons instead of one at a time), and cast them out of every part (this covers the possibility of a related spirit hiding out in an alter).
This is of course a very rough and over simplified guide to the basic deliverance process that I choose to use in deliverance sessions. Other ministers will use different steps, or put things in different order, and that is perfectly acceptable as long as the person is being set free and is able to maintain their freedom afterwards. I also stay open to the Holy Spirit, because sometimes these steps need to be altered in order to effectively deal with the situation at hand. It also is helpful to give the person some post-deliverance advise, such as cautioning them about how demons can try to deceive you into thinking that they have returned, and what to do in such situations, etc.
Comment by Mark H. Stevens, Th.D on April 10, 2009 at 8:16am
Rom 6:12-13 (Phi) Do not, then, allow sin to establish any power over your mortal bodies in making you give way to your lusts. Nor hand over your bodily parts to be, as it were, weapons of evil for the devil's purposes. But, like men rescued from certain death, put yourselves in God's hands as weapons of good for his own purposes.
• In Scripture, the idea of possession is used in a wider sense than just demon possession. Possession has to do with captivity, mastery, or obedience. We are spoken of as being "possessed" by God if we obey Him, and "possessed" by the powers of darkness if we sin. Advanced cases of being "taken captive" by Satan result in involuntary behavior termed "possession". But this kind of "possession" is often entered into gradually and willfully...
Rom 6:16 (Phi) You "belong" to the power you choose to obey... (Ps 106:39)
• For Christians, our souls are "sealed" until the day of our complete redemption, but our bodies can be commandeered by Satan, taken captive to do his will in a particular moment. To be sure, it is not the same for us as it is with the unregenerate, for we have a choice in the matter. We have the experiential option to hand our bodies over (Rom 6:12-22)--like chess pieces--to either God or Satan in the great cosmic battle.
Rom 6:16 (NEB) ... if you put yourselves at the disposal of a master, to obey him, you are slaves of the master whom you obey; and this is true whether you serve sin, with death as its result; or obedience, with righteousness as its result.
2 Pet 2:19 (Jer) ... if anyone lets himself be dominated by anything, he is a slave to it...
Been Had?
1 Cor 6:19-20 (TEB) ...You do not belong to yourselves but to God; he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God's glory.
Eph 4:27 (NIV) ... Do not give the devil a foothold.
• Malachi Martin, in Hostage to the Devil makes the point that what we term "possessions" are really "partial possessions". Even in extreme cases such as the man of the Gadarenes (Luke 8:26-39), there is still a core soul that has not been completely subdued, even if the body is routinely "seized by" demons.
• To fit our theology, we can substitute words like "oppressed" versus "possessed" and "strongholds", etc., but the issue is a matter of the heart, a matter of who is our master, not of words. Do we long for the thrills that demons can give us through sin, or is our heart inclined to obey God?
Comment by Mark H. Stevens, Th.D on April 7, 2009 at 1:25pm
How Porn Works
Pornography in its various forms has become accessible to just about anyone. With the help of the internet, videos, cable television, satellite and magazines, thousands...or possibly millions of people are becoming addicted to pornography every day. Though the sex industry downplays the impact of porn on society, the truth is that pornography profoundly damages people.

Pornography images are designed to appeal to our human tendencies toward lust and "sexual idolatry." Let's examine these tendencies more closely:

Lust: Webster's Dictionary defines lust as "intense or unbridled sexual desire," "an intense longing: craving" and a "conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment." The problem with lust is that it is based in selfishness and works contrary to love. In fact, it is the opposite of love (see lust vs. love). When fed, it can grow into an uncontrollable force in a person's life. Like a wildfire, lust can consume a person's resources, time and attention.

The Bible identifies 2 basic types of lust that people are tempted by: "lust of the eyes" and "lust of the flesh" (1 John 2:15-17). Pornography caters to both types by providing visual stimulation that appeals to our "fleshly" desire for sex (more about lust). It also gives us lifelong fuel for lust through the memories of the sexual images. With the help of special hormones released in the brain during sexual arousal, porn images are retained in our memories much longer than non-sexual memories.

Sexual Idolatry: Idolatry is the "worship of a physical object as a god" or an "immoderate attachment or devotion to something." Worship means to show "extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem" (both from Webster's Dictionary). Many people may not realize that pornography has helped them develop an immoderate or extravagant devotion to sex. Gazing at pornography for hours, masturbating to sexual images and repeatedly fantasizing about sex are basically forms of worshipping sex. People who practice such activities find that sexual images seem to rise to the top and forefront of their thoughts. Their minds become a type of "mental altar" for sex (more about sexual idolatry).

Unfortunately, pornography's powerful appeal leads many into sexual addiction. A life dedicated to pornography, or even just seasoned with occasional viewing of it can become considerably darkened by the many harmful side effects. Here are just a few of the many possible side effects of pornography addiction that we've witnessed:

Perversions (homosexuality, bestiality, bisexuality, transexuality, fetishes, etc.)
Sexual imbalance
Sexual dissatisfaction
Lies & deception
Uncontrolled thoughts
Spiritual oppression
Marital strife / destruction / divorce
Corrupted perception of reality
Warped interpersonal skills
Increased tendency toward sexual crime
Guilt & condemnation
Loss of Hope
Inability to give or receive love
Spiritual death
Depraved mind
Darkened understanding
Loss of discernment between good & evil
Lustful eye
(see destruction testimonials for real life examples)

Many of the above effects reflect the fact that there is a spiritual aspect of pornography and sex addiction. Jesus gave us a clue about this in Matthew 6:22-23 NIV: "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" Porn is a form of darkness that follows the rule Jesus described. When people view pornography, they open a "doorway" in their lives through their eyes to darkness. The resultant effects of that darkness can be seen in our list above.
Comment by Mark H. Stevens, Th.D on April 7, 2009 at 9:18am
I was exposed to pornography when I was about 12 years old growing up in Connecticut. My brother had a trunk in the attic filled with hardcore porn and I found it. I would secretly go to the attic after school and look at it, I never told anyone or shared my discovery with friends. Porno has haunted me most of my life, I accepted Christ at the age of 14, and thanks to the power of the Holy Spirit I began to feel convicted about my activities. The sad truth is even after becoming a Christian I realized the images had already done their damage. After joining the Air Force at 18 my first roommate was a porn junkie, and I fell back into temptation again. Eventually I was able to request a new roommate but the damage was done. To this day I have to make a daily concerted effort to pray and seek God for strength. I put blocks on my computers and I make sure I don’t go in stores that sell porno like 7-11 and other corner stores. I can’t let my guard down EVER because I know that is an area of weakness for me; but not just me but millions of other men, yes Christian men too!

I hope this short book will help you realize how the enemy carefully calculates your destruction through the avenue of sexual sin. I share some funny stories and personal things so you will know you are not alone in this struggle. Jude 24 is my favorite scripture when it comes to God keeping us in this evil world, meditate on it and make it your mantra. The Lord can keep you from falling, sometime even when you DON’T want to be kept! If don’t believe me keep reading!

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