submitted sex in marriage.... will it save the marriage?

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Let me throw this scenario out to the couples here...


According to scriptures, spouses are not suppose to withhold sex from one another.

I Corinthians 7:5 (NIV)
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


This is a biblical fact... we don't argue nor reason with scriptures.

In a situation where a married couple is having various problems and these problems flow over into the bedroom in either lack of desire or in performance and one spouse demands sex from the other using the above scripture... will that save the marriage?

If it is the man demanding sex and the woman feels like her husband is raping her because her desire is absent... will that save the marriage or make it worse?

If it is the woman demanding sex and the husband cant... well "raise the flag" so to speak because of all of the pressure in the home... with that save the marriage or make it worse?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

[Preacher]

I agree when the wife usurps authority the husband mourns and the marriage is most times ruined..AMEN

when we study the word of God we see where God told Eve her husband will RULE over her...that word rule means dominate or be master or lord over her...command,lord,rule,dominate..all related...women today have flipped the word of God over and have become the rulers in the home and the churches...due to the lack of spiritual understranding and backbone of the men...
So much to the the point that preachers actually allow their wives to usurp authority in the congregations and teach men...Obeying their wives and disobeying God...just as Adam did...


now we are to love our wives as Cjhrist loved the church...true and the wife is to obey their husbands as the church obey's Christ or is supposed to obey christ...the bible says the hisband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...does the church command Christ or does Christ command the church? and why?
GB

[K.FRAZIER]

I just want to commed you on how well you put things in perspective. I am not only a young man but a single man who really needs to take heed of wise council before that time in life when God gives me a wife. I found your post very helpful. I hope other readers will take time out to read, study and continue to seek God on matters as such because he will definitely provide instruction on how to handle the situation and/or Love your helpmate in return. I wish all the married believers many more years in their marriages and good luck to the unmarried as well. God Bless!!

[S. Bernard Mitchell]

See what people fail to acknowledge is the latter part of the text I Cor. 7:5, "because of your lack of self-control." If we are one in the flesh and there is no harmony, how can on say they as a union are in self-control. That is an unstable marriage. Unstability isn't an attribute of Jesus the Christ.

[Preacher]

If men would stand up and usurp the authority God gave them, and if women would repent and stop destroying their marriage in the attempt to gain authority..there would be no need for self control in the marriage...things would go the way God intended them to go...the more i hear responses on this topic the more i understand this next verse...

1 Corinthians 7:1
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.


GB

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

It is interesting that while there is the command for both the men and the women, neither are doing it the way scriptures demonstrate.

(I tend to speak of men first becaue they are the head, not because I have something against them, so please don't think Im some sort of man basher)

If MEN are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and to Lord over them the way He is Lord of the church, then why aren't they following Christ's example of HOW to be a Lord? And is Christ just Lord alone? Is that His only title? Is that His only relationship with the church? Or is He more than just Lord? In what ways did Christ demonstrate His love for the church? HOW does he Lord over His bride? Is it passive, is it aggressive is it a mix of both? Is it a well rounded lordship or a is it ... dare I say... unbalanced?

And WOMEN, if women are to obey their husbands as unto Christ, then why aren't they/we (I'm a woman too) obeying fully? Does the Bride of Christ obey Him fully? If not, why not? But more importantly is any reason for disobedience an acceptable reason? I've had plenty of reasons to disobey, *smh* But reasons are just... reasons. No more no less.

In a moment of transparency, I will share with all of you that I'm going thru a divorce now so I'm not pretendng to be something I'm not. I am not commenting to you guys from a seat of perfection. I wouldn't dare do that. I'm not defending women nor am I defending men.

The problem I see sooo many times is that we as Believers act like everything in our lives is in mint condition when it isn't. We don't want to talk about past mistake or even a current mess. We want to remain squeaky clean. But I remember a movie quote that goes something like this:

"you see that pile of chicken poop... that white stuff on top is chicken poop too"

My testimony is to warn women not to make the mistakes I made...and likewise men shouldn't make the mistakes that I've seen. I'm not pretending that my past sins of my entire life (which have been forgiven ) werent sins. I'm not pretending that the mistakes I made in the past weren't mistakes...I acknowledge What was wrong and Why it was wrong... and move FORWARD from it. I share what I've done, what's been done to me and how it affected my life and the lives of others.

And believe me on an as needed basis, I will tell folks that the white stuff they present as pure and not poop is nothing more than chicken poop too, if indeed that is what they are presenting.

Another concern I have is that as Believers we spout scriptures and don't give application. What do I mean? For simplicity, let's say the scriptures would say "Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich". If you are dealing with a person who has never made one before, then how would they know HOW to make it? Where are the people who will walk a person through the process? Do you use white bread, wheat bread, rye bread? Do you use two knives (one for the peanut butter one for the jelly) or do you use one knife and dip it into both jars risking cross contaminiation.

NO, we want to spout a scripture and expect people just do it with no guidance. What is this, a NIKE lifestyle here?

But that is not what God expects. He expects teachers to TEACH. He expects the older women to TEACH the younger women HOW to apply God's word to their lives. Jesus' example of being LORD was also one of teaching and mentorship. Where are the brethren who will mentor and walk with other brethren instead of just sitting back and preaching to them? He didn't just spout a parable but he would explain it to the disciples. He walked WITH them daily.

*sigh*

You want to know when marriage counseling should start? Ideally, it should starte at a YOUNG AGE. Don't wait until men and women are already grown up with all this baggage to sift thru as they are rushing to the altar all full of emotion and very little relationship teaching. Sooo many marriages fail not solely because men and women are disobeying scriptures AFTER being married but many marriages fail because they have not been taught marriage BEFORE they got married. The pre-marital counseling we have today is typically a few weeks long to as short as a day before. Are you serious??!!! And we expect it to last a lifetime (some do...but statisc show that MANY do not last a lifetime)

So again, my passion comes from a place of warning to BOTH men and women... DON'T GO DOWN THE ROAD I'VE BEEN DOWN. You don't need to experience what I've experienced in my lifetime and you don't need to see what I've seen. And you especially do not need to do what I've done.

the balance comes after the warning which is to also give people HOPE!

The second part of my passion is this... IF you have already done what I've done, experienced what I've experienced and seen what I've seen...there is HOPE in Christ.

Isn't this what God's word does... we have a record of the sins and successes of our biblical heroes whose lives were an open book for us to examine and learn from. The Bible is a book of many many things but especially a book of... HOPE for the hopeless.

The hopeless say, "My life is sooo jacked up, I'll never have what I want"
The scriptures give us up in that Jesus came so that we could have and abundant life. He came to set us free from the bondage of sin and that includes our jacked up way of thinking!! We don't have to be bound by past failures...we have a future with ... hope!

Now, I'm sure someone will take one or two things that I've revealed in this post to just try and run me into the ground but you can't....it won't be effective because I've been forgiven, set free, filled with joy unspeakable, and I'm so full of hope I'm about to BURST!!

If I've offended anyone with the way I write or the content that I share publicly, then I publicly apologize. Other than that, I'm gonna keep on keeping on.

Have a wonderful week.

[freddie reez]

Sex is really an important part between married couples and that is a hot issue nowadays. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield once said, “My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!” Such was the lawsuit for a French couple in a sexless relationship, reports The Telegraph. Frenchman ordered to pay ex for lack of sex by a judge in the French area of Aix-en-Provence determined the male had to repay his ex $14,000 for insufficient sex over their 21-year marriage. This is just a proof that a lack of sex in a relationship can force partners apart no matter how long they've been together.