DATING vs COURTING.. what's the difference?

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Anyone care to share the difference between the two?

Do men and women define dating and courting differently?

Could this be the source of confusion in relationships?

Feel free to express scriptures or your opinion or your facts or your experiences etc.

[Kendra]

Dating is you are not in a relationship you are just sharing time together
Courting would be you are in a relationship with the person
correct me if I am wrong...

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

So is it good for a Believer to be dating different people at the same time? Meaning. Go out on a dates with different people.. not in a relationship with any of them... but trying to get to know them all until a decision to get into an exclusive relationship is mutually decided.

This is not a trick question either. I'm not trying to set anyone up and come off as some know it all. I honestly want to dialogue with everyone about this topic because so many people have so many different views about it.

Some say Believers should NEVER date they should court. Some say there is not much difference in dating and courting. Some say dating is just hanging out while courting is purpose to lead towards marriage. Other say Believers should do neither but just wait on the Lord.. and yet they don't explain what "waiting" means or looks like. Does it mean having a Santa Claus mentality and make a wish list and pray that list to the Lord and hope that he will drop your spouse down at your doorstep? Or is waiting just having a spirit of expectation with observation?

Again, I have several questions about the topic and usually get 10 different answers based on person's traditional teaching, contemporary teaching, no teaching but assumptions, or just life experiences.

I like how you expressed your answers. Are they any others who want to answer the question?

Do men and women define dating and courting differently?

[Servant of God]

Courting and dating are the same thing..Coutring is just a word that the older people used to describe dating.

[LASHAWN JOHNSON (HOLY1OF GOD)]

WELL I THINK THAT THEY DO. 2 ME COURTING IS U R PREPARING 4 MARRIAGE AND U R SERIOUS ABOUT THIS PERSON. DATING U R LOOKIN 4 MR OR MISS RIGHT AND HAVE NOT FOUND THEM YET. BUT U SEE IN HOLINESS WE DON'T DATE SO WHEN SOME1 LIKES U AND YALL START COURTING U R GETTIN MARRIED.AND U SHOULD B MARRIED WITHIN A SPAND OF 6 MONTHS 2 A YEAR.SO EVERY1 HAS DIFFERNT OPINIONS ABOUT THIS BUT THAT IS MINE.

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

I have a question about your comment Holy1ofGod. You said:

DATING U R LOOKIN 4 MR OR MISS RIGHT AND HAVE NOT FOUND THEM YET. BUT U SEE IN HOLINESS WE DON'T DATE SO WHEN SOME1 LIKES U AND YALL START COURTING U R GETTIN MARRIED.AND U SHOULD B MARRIED WITHIN A SPAND OF 6 MONTHS 2 A YEAR

Is courting then synonomous with being engaged??? Or is there a progression from courting to being engaged???

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

I have asked this question on another site. Here are some of the answers:

* I thought no one acknowledged the word "courting" anymore. Do people still do that?

* Dating and courting are the same thing

* people date in the north and court in the south

* courting is chaperoned, dating is not

* Courting is the next phase or the next progressive step from dating

* Its ok to date several people when you are getting to know different people. But once you decide that you want to be serious then all dating stops and you now court

* Men are suppose to court women; women are suppose to be courted

* Courting builds bonds; dating is the starting point to courting

* it is easier to court long distance because then your focus is knowing one another and build intimacy without the distraction and opportunity of physical intimacy (sex)

* there is not a lot of bonds formed in dating

* dating is a different term for courting because the purpose of both is to move towards marriage. If you are not dating someone for the purpose of getting to know them to get married then you are just hanging out with them.. you aren’t dating/courting.

* Men and women think differently. Men date when women want to be courted.

Please continue to share your thoughts and comments. If I get more from others who are not on this site, I will post their comments as well.

[Min. Jubilee]

There is no difference to me. The purpose of both (for Christians) are to get to know someone to see if they are compatable to marry or to convince them to marry. Nobody reveals who they are to people they don't know. Trust takes time to build. Personality traits don't always manafest within the first conversation. It takes time to get to know someone and fall in love with them. Everyone you date is not going to be compatable to be your spouse, but dating and courtship is a choosing process.

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

When you meet a man or woman just ask them what they want.. find out their intentions.

But to not re-invent the wheel I'm going to copy my response to a similar topic:

Honestly I don't label it as either. If someone asks me out for coffee.. I don't call it a date nor courting. I say.. we're going out for coffee...or to the movies or to eat or whatever.

If that person and I decide to take our relationship further then I say.. "we are taking our relationship further and being exclusive. In other words.. there are no P.O.I.s in the mix. What's a POI??? Person of Interest.

Labels both define and confine.. depending on how you want to look at it.

We could debate all day about the word dating or courting and guess what... the actions and intentions would remain the same no matter what you call it.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

This is why I had asked the question in another discussion forum... what is the difference between dating and courting and do men and women define them differently.

I won't assume to know what a person knows or how they define anything. I just ask them to give me their explanation that way I know what I'm dealing with whether I call it something differently or not.

If he says date and I'm saying court yet we are talking about the same actions.. then the common ground is the action..or definition..not the word. No need to get aggravated over the word... find out the other persons INTENTION state your intention and then just move forward. Leave the confusion behind.

[Min. Jubilee]

Amen! :D

[Minister Timotheos Goree]

This is an age old arguement that I personally see as an effect of rebellious behaviour that we developed from european society. Honestly if we were in the system that God set in place we would be doing it so differently that most people would just deny the whole practice. In the scriptures when a man wanted to take a bride of a fathers daughter he would court her. The practice of courting is older than people understand. Most people don't agree with courting because it would involve the parents or gaurdian, if they are young. Others think its too much rules involved. Dating came from rebellious people who didn't want the responsibility expected from courting, there is a difference. Dating is a set time that you and another person set to meet, to do watever. But the nature of dating develops a looseness with people. Im a young man that started dating at a young age. It developed a habit of not being stable after dating so many people.
Heres the deal, we all have a person from birth that God planned us to be with. Honestly as young people how are we just learning life period supposed to go about finding that one person. Thats the parents or gaurdians job to guide them, I know a lot of people that dont agree with the system of arranged marriages, but i gaurantee that it has better out comes then when people are just dating around. Now when you have two grown people courting its different then two young people. We just have to be honest with ourselves, if we took two people that are young and theyre dating alone and its nobody to say no, nobdy to hold them responsible, theyre going to explore. What could have been a perfect relationship and it may have been that husband or wife that God ordained for you. But now youve complicated the whole thing with one incident because of being in the wrong situation. We all know that sex complicates things , thats no surprise. And when people are dating they are only going to show you the side of them they want you want to see. Courting is different because the proper way to court if youre young you court the parent first. that eliminates the smoke screen picture. Now people would say thats old and fanatical and you need to come to par with today, but i rather be old fashioned and fanatical than a mess like what the world is today.