I WANTED TO POST THIS TO SINGLES BECAUSE ALTHOUGH YOU ARE UNMARRIED, YOU COULD BE THE "OTHER PERSON" IN THE EMOTIONAL AFFAIR. AND YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE WARNING SIGNS AS WELL.



Dating Question: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

An email here, a smile there. Maybe that 'innocent' friendship with your guy friend isn't so innocent after all...

Relationship alert: 82 percent of affairs happen with someone who was at first "just a friend," according to noted infidelity researcher Shirley P. Glass.

So... despite any obvious signs of cheating in your so-called friendship, ask yourself: Are you having an emotional affair?

You've Probably Crossed the Line if You...

1. Touch your male friend in "legal" ways, like picking lint off his blazer. Touch your female friend in a "legal ways" like rubbing the back of her neck or stroking her hair.

2. Pay extra attention to how you look before you see him or her. When you know you will see them, you wear something extra special or put on your special fragrance.

3. Think crush-like thoughts like "He'd love this dish!" "She'd love this song"

4. Tell him or her more details about your day than you do your partner.

5. No longer feel comfortable telling your mate about this person and begin to cover up your relationship. You feel guilty about your thoughts about your "friend".

6. Experience increasing sensual tension; you admit your attraction to him or her but also insist to yourself that you would never act on it. (never say never)

It's About to Get Physical When You...

1. Find yourself feeling vulnerable and turn to the other man or woman for support rather than to your mate or a trusted relative or girlfriend.

2. Accelerate the level of intimacy through sensual or suggestive talk over email or the phone.

3. Put yourself in a situation where the two of you could be alone.

You Can Avoid the Potential Affair if You...

1. Stay honest with your partner. Share with him all your hopes, triumphs, and failures -- as well as your attractions and temptations, which will help keep you from acting on them.

2. Make time for just the two of you on a regular basis -- away from the kids, your friends, and family.

3. Surround yourself with happy couples who don't believe in fooling around. Having positive, emotionally connected role models will help you stay on track.


Here are some who have discovered that they were having an emotional affair: "I Knew I'd Gone too Far When..."


"The guy who I was flirting with regularly over email attended the same event as me and my fiance. When I introduced them, my face flushed as red as a tomato -- I felt embarrassed and guilty about my fiance meeting this guy, so I knew what I was
doing was wrong."
-- Carolyn, 31, Westfield, NJ


"My co-worker and I spend lots of time emailing each other during the day and going to lunch several times during the week. I tell her all about the problems in my marriage. She is very sympathetic and I find myself think about her when I'm at home and even when I'm in bed with my wife. Whenever I get upset with my wife I think, 'Sheryl wouldn't do that'. I think I'm falling in love with Sheryl but she's my friend... " - James, 40, Atlanta, GA


"During one night of partying, my best guy friend and I confessed we had always liked each other. He was a perfect gentleman and left my place before we crossed the physical line. The next day I was completely embarrassed and knew that I didn't want to jeopardize the relationship with my boyfriend so I ended the friendship. And now the boyfriend is my husband, so I'm glad I did." -- Allie, 29, Yonkers, NY




"My best guy friend and I were snuggled on his couch underneath a blanket when I realized that neither his girlfriend nor my boyfriend would be happy if they saw us -- and that our platonic relationship wasn't as platonic as we thought."
-- Kim, 35, New Orleans

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Well well well, all I can say to that is YES LORD!!!
Great subject. Thanks for provoking us to really think about relationships with the other sex. My ex was confiding in a co-worker and going to lunch etc., and eventually left home and we eventually got divorced. I called the young lady and told her my husband said she was a woman of God and she got very defensive. I then asked her had she ever been married and said you know we reap what we sow. The next day she broke it off with him. I'm thankful to God I didn't call her talking crazy and disrespectful because she wouldn't have had an ear to hear and a heart to receive.

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