what are the terms of two christian people dating? Should we date just to be dating or should we date to be married.

[Servant of God]

I feel that the christians are getting too much like the world concerning dating.The bible says when a man findeth a wife he findeth a good thing. AMEN! does that mean that a man shoul go from woman to woman until he finds the right one or should he just sit down and wait on God until he finds the right one.We are in the world but bot of the world so i believe that concerning dating we should be diffrerent.

[LASHAWN JOHNSON (HOLY1OF GOD)]

THAT IS SO TRUE BUT KNOW SOMETIMES THE FLESH WILL PLAY TRICKS ON U AND U LET UR EMOTIONS GET IN THE WAY. IF A MAN IS LOOKIN 4 A GOOD WIFE HE SHOULD PRAY AND ASK GOD 2 LEAD HIM 2 THE RIGHT 1 SO HE WON'T LOOK LIKE A GOSPEL PIMP.I HAVE SEEN SO MANY PPL MAKE THE MISTAKE OF MARRYIN PPL BCAUSE MOM SAID SO OR SOME1 SAID THEY LOOK GOOD 2 GETHER INSTEAD OF ASKIN GOD WHAT HE WANTS 4 THEM. WE MUST WAIT ON GOD CAUSE THIS IS A LONG LIFE DECISION AND WE SHOULD'NT MISUSE IT.

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

I agree with waiting in the terms of not rushing into a committment or covenant relationship because it is most definitely a lifelong decision.. or at least it should be....


But, what does waiting on God consist of? We tell people this all the time but leave them hanging.

When you tell a person to wait at the bus stop until a bus comes, should they stand, sit, wait at a certain time, check the schedule? How do they know which bus to get on? Should they get on any bus? Is it a church bus, city bus, school bus, greyhound?

Do you see how ambiguous the "wait on God" statement is.... unclear, hazy, vague, missing information

But we wonder why so many Believers are leaning to their own understanding. We give them such indistinct instructions filled with Christian Colloquialisms and expect them to figure it out.

With "waiting" there is an expectancy.. but what are you expecting? How do you know what it looks like? What will keep you from being decieved?

Give people more than that.

When Abraham (representing the Father) sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, what was Isaac doing while he was "waiting" for his wife to be brought to him? Read Gen 24:63 -- Isaac was meditating in the field and looked up and FOUND his good thing coming his way. The Father's servant was bringing the woman TO the man. While waiting, he was working in his Father's field. How did the servant RECOGNIZE his good thing? He had been told what to look for

7The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.

12And he said O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.

13Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

14And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

15And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.


Oh the entire chapter is RICH with an example of waiting, watching and working. It's what I call a "holy hook-up". It is a beautiful example of "waiting on the Lord".

[Kendra]

I agree that things should be differnt with being a christian and dating, I feel that as long as the man is following the rules fo the word of God its ok with dating, but then you don't want your good to be evil spoken of, so you need to keep your dating sene to a minium, But waiting for God to send you to the right lady is a very good thing as well, We live in this world we don't suppose to be like this world, So just letting God lead you would be the best thing for any man or woman.

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Have you ever been walking down the street and found a $20 bill. What if that $20 bill was all wet and had a bit of dirt on it and had been walked on? Could you still spend it? Is it still worth $20?? Did you go searching for the $20 bill? No, you didn't. But you FOUND it didint you? And then what happened? You RECOGNIZED its worth. You didn't have to search for it but when you came across it you recognized it by your understanding of what a $20 bill is worth.

You see, we think of "finding" as this big treasure hunt from person to person. When in truth, we are given the qualities that we should RECOGNIZE the worth of a person by the biblical qualities that God has already given us in His word. A worshipper worships... a giver gives... a person who loves.. loves others. The fruit of the Spirit is evidence of the Holy Spirit active in a person's life. You don't have to go from person to person searching for it. When you come across a person or a person comes across you.. you will FIND those qualities in them no matter how they look, no matter what their financial situation, no matter where they live, no matter what their social status is or their status in the church. Their worth will not be based on where you found them or any of their outter appearance. Their worth will be determined by your knowledge of God's word and you RECOGNIZING their worth.

When a man finds a wife... he finds a good thing. How do you know what a good thing is unless you have information on how to recgonize a good thing.

That's my two cents... my ten cents was free. (LOL)

[Min. Jubilee]

There is nothing wrong with christians dating. This how we get to know people better that we find interesting. How do you know if you are compatable for marriage with someone if you don't get to know them? To "find" someone requires action. It's a verb, an action word. Dating is how some people find each other!

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Honestly I don't label it as either. If someone asks me out for coffee.. I don't call it a date nor courting. I say.. we're going out for coffee...or to the movies or to eat or whatever.

If that person and I decide to take our relationship further then I say.. "we are taking our relationship further and being exclusive. In other words.. there are no P.O.I.s in the mix. What's a POI??? Person of Interest.

Labels both define and confine.. depending on how you want to look at it.

We could debate all day about the word dating or courting and guess what... the actions and intentions would remain the same no matter what you call it.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

This is why I had asked the question in another discussion forum... what is the difference between dating and courting and do men and women define them differently.

I won't assume to know what a person knows or how they define anything. I just ask them to give me their explanation that way I know what I'm dealing with whether I call it something differently or not.

If he says date and I'm saying court yet we are talking about the same actions.. then the common ground is the action..or definition..not the word. No need to get aggravated over the word... find out the other persons INTENTION state your intention and then just move forward. Leave the confusion behind.