Angelica Kiara's Blog (10)

I don't want to die

But I have no regret

So I have to lie

To keep it a secret



I used to be addicted

But now I have control

But I have been misread

Looks like I've lost my soul



I don't want to go back

To where I used to be

To get on the wrong track

Forget that I am me



Maybe that is what I want

To forget who I am

My only confidant

All others are a sham



I am all alone

Just me and my… Continue

ugly feelings

My biggest critic is me.

Peering into the looking glass and hating what I see.

Hiding within a prison.

A prison hand made by me.

A prison that I hide in so that no one has to see.

Hiding my ugliness from the world

When all I really deserve is to be hurled.

Hurled away from humanity.

From a world so obsessed with vanity.

And all I want to do is hide

Because Im just a girl whos slowly dieing inside.

The ugly duckling that… Continue

The Edge
Standing at the edge of forever
Peering into the darkness
A breeze floats across my face
Like that of a lover's caress

One step is all it will take
To step into eternity
But, reluctantly I turn away
Turn to face reality

But I will be back here soon
Whether in a week or perhaps a day
Standing at the edge of forever
Wondering if I should go or if I should stay

Convict me, a crime has taken place

inside my head, behind my broken face;

I found you from your perch in the past

to bring you pain, a punishment to last...

Condemn me, call me for what I surely am

A heartless killer, coming out to damn

perhaps only myself, but I have shut down

passed careing, passed the limits of my town.



Tremble in fear as I reverse the script

wandering so malevolently within your crypt.

In your eyes, I yearn to see… Continue

My Inner Struggles:



(i'm not perfect)



broken meadows, shattered eyes

bleeding hearts, sacrifice



people run, people hide

no one is here to ride



day by day slow it comes

my final song to you i hum



darkness setting i'm not free

i turn to you and look to flee



look in my eyes can't you tell

that everyday i live in hell



the pain i hide is locked inside

the glassiness of shattered… Continue

letter to the razor(trigger)

I was so stupid and foolish

I was young and dumb

I felt so horrible about myself

You stopped me feeling numb



But now I realize you were a mistake

I don't want you in my life anymore

You just left me in pain, bleeding

Lying in a pool of blood, crying on floor



I was addicted to you

But now I am free

You no longer have control

You have no grasp over me



I am going to get on with my… Continue

Strength

They counted on me to fall apart

They wanted so much to break my heart

Then theyd use me whenever they pleased

And Ill admit for a while my heart did bleed.



But they messed up somewhere along the line

They didn't count on all this power that is mine

I laugh cause theyll never admit they were wrong

They didnt count on me being so strong.



It is now time for me to go out and live

For the rest of my life I will give

All… Continue

Don't you just hate when you've been waiting for a moment for so long and youve rehearsed it in your head so many times what you were going to say and how, but when the moment arrives you either rush it, talk too much ,too fast or you don't think your interesting enough? *sigh* thats sucks

I am in the process of getting into some internship programs and such because as soon as I'm done with this 1 yr. at SWIC I don't care I'm out of here.And New York here I come.And California too. I want to be alot of things and I know I will be. I can feel the sucess coming on and I know I'm going to get there. And soon. So therefore I need no extra baggage I want to know whos fareal and whos not. Don't try to jump on my band wagon when it finally pulls off. And don't try to act like were all… Continue

Oh I'm about to get frustrated. I hate reaching out and getting my hand pushed away. But if I really want this I know I'm going to have to fight for it. Either I will or I won't. This is just a test. Will I make it to the end? Even if I get no responses or no acknowledgemnts will I still reach out?