Breaking The Cycle - Embracing The Mantle of Fatherhood

by William Jackson Edited by Cheryl Littles

The recent E3 Focus Forum centered around the topic that has been touched on by such notable people as Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton and even President Barak Obama. There have been many dialogues about the urgency to get fathers more involved in their children’s lives even after divorce or non-marital breakups, with children the results of these relationships.

JCCI Study
The JCCI study here in Jacksonville shows the affects of absence fathers in children’s lives and it’s impact on infant mortality and poverty levels of children. Too many households reflect the statistical evidence that the absence of responsible and mature fathers contributes to continued poverty of children, increase involvement of juveniles in criminal behavior, increased dropout rates among schools age youth, mothers working 2 to 3 jobs to support their children and infant mortality rates similar to that of third world nations.

The Panelists
The panelists guided a dialogue that created an emotionally charged atmosphere as the channel of communication revealed even into adulthood how a father’s absence in the lives of their children transcends time and distance. When fathers are not present physically, emotionally and psychologically it changes the stability of children growing into mature and self-confident adults. Moderated by Anthony Butler, Exe. Dir. E3 Business Group, Inc (Jacksonville Chapter) this Focus Forum “Breaking the Cycle” is not just a controversial and poignant topic in Jacksonville, but throughout the country and in multiple cultures. This extends beyond Caucasian, African American, Latino, and Asian cultures, but into other cultures that are not typically thought of because of perceived cultural stereotypes.

Key Points
The dialogue focused on points that should be obvious; there is no excuse for fathers not to be involved and money cannot buy being a good father, every male is not a mature or responsible man to be a father. Instead of telling children the right way to go fathers should show their children by their actions, women sometimes do make it difficult for fathers to be in their children’s lives, fathers need to financially support their children and don’t be selfish in denying their children a healthy existence.
Continuation of the discussion expanded into setting priorities by both the man and woman and keeping open and honest communication in the relationship. If marriage is in the future there should be work towards this goal, but if not arrangements should be made for moving on in separate lives. Women are learning that they cannot make a man marry them even or support them even when there is a pregnancy and a future child does create unintended stresses and challenges.

Marriage Facts
The fact that Florida marriages, 50% to 70% end in divorce should prompt more men and women to talk about their goals in life and if they are mature and financially ready to support a child. Knowing this ahead of time prompts the use of birth control methods that protect from accidental pregnancies. Forty percent of births in Duval County are to unwed mothers that struggle even without a child who find themselves at or below the poverty level.

Conclusion
A philosophy for success for fathers as the forum worked to establish is to Educate, Encourage and Empower fathers to maintain a passion for their children. Fathers need to understand that they are important to their children and mothers need to make sure children have the opportunities to see their fathers despite emotional past hurts or challenges. Fathers that are not involved go back and get involved in your kids lives. It is never too late; it may be challenging in the beginning, but worthwhile
for them and you when you reconnect and establish a relationship.

Next Forum:
”Parent Involvement”
November 14th, 2009 at the MOCA Museum next to the Jacksonville Main Library.
www.e3businessgroup.org – for more information.

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