C.O.U.P.L.E. - How to Spell Love to Your Wife

C.O.U.P.L.E. - How to spell Love to your Wife
by Pastor Dixon - visit his site at http://kingdomharvestministriesnc.org

Closeness - She wants you to be close
Openness - She wants you to open up to her
Understanding - Don't try to fix her, just listen
Peacemaking - She wants you to say, I'm sorry
Loyalty - She needs to know you're committed
Esteem - She wants you to honor and cherish her

Your wife feels Close to you when you:
You hold her hand
You hug her
You are affectionate without sexual intentions
You are with her alone so you can focus on each other and laugh together
You go for a walk or jog . . . anything that results in togetherness
You seek her out . . . set up a date night . . .eat by candlelight
You go out of your way to do something for her, like run an errand
You make it a priority to spend time with her
You Are aware of her as a person with a mind and opinions. . . let her know you enjoy discussing things with her and getting her insights
You suggest the unexpected . . . get takeout and eat on the beach . . . take a walk to see the full moon . . . park on the bluff and watch the sunset
You pillow talk after making love . . . lye close with your arm around her and share feelings and intimate ideas . . . and never turn on Sports Center or Nightline

Your wife feels you are Open to her when . . .
You share your feelings, telling about your day and difficulties.
You say "Lets talk," ask her what she's feeling, and ask for her opinions.
Your face shows you want to talk--relaxed body language, good eye contact.
You take her for a walk to talk and reminisce about how you met or perhaps you talk about the kids and problems she may be having with them.
You pray with her.
You give her you full attention . . . no grunting responses while try to watch TV, read the newspaper, or write e-mails.
You discuss financial concerns, possible job changes, or ideas for your future.

She'll know you're trying to Understand her when . . .
You listen and can repeat back what she said.
You don' try to "fix her problems" unless she specifically asks for a solution.
You try to identify her feelings.
You never dismiss her feelings, no matter how illogical they may seem to you.
You say, "I appreciate your sharing that with me."
You say, "I appreciate your sharing that with me."
You don't interrupt her when she's trying to tell you how she feels.
You apologize and admit you were wrong.
You cut her some slack during her monthly cycle.
You see something that needs to be done and you do it without a lot of hassle.
You express appreciation for all she does: "Honey, I could never do your job."
You pray with her and for her.

She'll fee at Peace with you when . . .
You let her vent her frustrations and hurts and don't get angry and close her off.
You admit you are wrong and apologize by saying., "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"
You understand her natural desire to negotiate, compromise, and defer, and you meet her halfway.
You try to keep your relationship0 "up-to-date," resolving the unresolved and never saying, "forget it,"
You forgive her for any wrongs she confesses.
You never nurse bitterness and always reassure her of your love.
You pray with her after a hurtful time.

She is assured of your Loyalty when . . .
-You speak highly of her in front of others
-You are involved in things important to her
-You help her make decisions, such as ones regarding the children
-You don't correct her in front of the children
-You don't look lustfully at other women
-You make her and your marriage a priority
-You are never critical of her or your children in front of others
-You include her in social gatherings when others may leave their spouses home
-You tell the kids, "Don't speak to your mother that way!"
-You call and let her know your plans.
-You keep commitments.
-You speak positively of her and the children at all times.

Your wife will feel Esteemed when . . .
You say, "I'm so proud of the way you handled that."
You speak highly of her in front of others.
You open the door for her.
You try something new with her.
You give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm.
You notice something different about her hair or clothes.
You are physically affectionate with her in public.
You teach the children to show her and others respect.
You value her opinion in the gray areas as not wrong but just different - and valid.
You choose family outings over "guy things."
You make her feel first in importance.
You are proud of her and all she does.

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