Foreplay ( 12 points that can help your marriage)
God has made man spirit, soul and body. He intends that husbands and wives minister to each other in these areas. To often, because many have not been taught how to minister to the whole man, many suffer. The church as a whole has done a poor job of discussing this issue and related issues and we end up having poor and weak marriage relationships.
I was married and divorced in a very short period of time and since my divorce 22 years ago, God has taught me quite a bit about relationships and marriage. It is part of my kingdom assignment to help people in the body of Christ to grow and improve their relationships and marriages. I have learned through success and failure, study, mediation and revealtion by the Holy Spirit as well as counseling others for nerly 20 years.
Here are the 12 points of foreplay:
1. Be humble. Its not all about you.One of the first steps to understanding foreplay is getting yourself out of the picture and focusing on the needs and desires of your mate. This focus is first not sexual. It is being concerned about the welfare of the other person, and yes sometimes above your own. Why is this important? Because the other person must feel wanted, needed, honestly desired and come to a place of trust where they can be totally open and uninhibited (within biblical guidelines) sexually... 2 Chronicles 7:14 ( A humble and caring spirit will take you far.
2. Communicate openly and honestly. When you truly begin to share your heart, your hurts and hopes with your spouse, this will help them to open up. You must pray with and for each other to gain God's wisdom when to speak and how to share these things. God will prepare each person's heart to receive with understanding each thing that is shared without each person being judgemental. Honest communication can build intimacy and friendship.
3. Help each other to open up. You cannot force or demand that anyone opens up. You do this by opening up yourself, through your words, actions and integrity. By being the real and best person you can be for yourself, you help to open the door for your spouse to be real and to pursue their best. We must learn to be vunerable. "If you want what you have never had, you must do what you have never done.
4.Be responsible. Take care of yourself, your family and the future of your family. So many people in the body of Christ have allowed the devil to steal blessings and the future security of their family from them by the wrong use of money and resources. So many are in debt that it puts pressure on each spouse which steals their joy. Stop frontin and buying things you can't afford and then saying God has blessed you. The devil is a liar. Live with in your means and prepare for the future.....trust me it will help your sex life!
5.Have a plan for your future and the future of your family. Encourage your family members to pursue kingdom vision that God has placed within them. They will be happier as they feel valued and valuable. This will or can decrease tension and increase peace.
6.Date your spouse regulary. Whatever you did to keep her or him, continue to do those things once you are married. Husbands and wives, if you plan and set up a date with your spouse (pay for it yourself..pay for the whole date). This will help the other date feel that they are appreciated. Don's set up a date or event and expect the other spouse to pay for it. This can create silent resentment.
7. If you are married, you should not hang with and socialize with your single girlfriends or the boys. Why? Because your goals, your focus and your priorities are different. This has been a startegy that Satan has used successfully to destroy marriages.
8. Learn to love your spouse a thousand ways. Stop seeking a thousand men or women outside of your marriage. Make your marriage fun.Hold each other, kiss each other often, play with each other. show affection, sincere affection often. People like to feel wanted. Touch has power to heal and to produce trust.
9. Give each other personal quiet time and space. Because you are married doesn't mean that you must be like white on rice to each other. That is why trust is important.
10. Help to keep each other mentally, physically, spiritually fit. Stop putting mental, physical and spiritual junk into your self. Do something everyday to keep yourself fit.
11. Watch the words that come out of your mouth. Words can heal or hurt. Be quick to forgive each other when you make a mistake.
12. Stop limitimg yourself and each other. Do not let religious thinking limit how you love each other. Remember you are accountable to God not to the opinions of religous thinkers who do not have a clue. Ask them if they are happy in their marriages...LOL
I was married and divorced in a very short period of time and since my divorce 22 years ago, God has taught me quite a bit about relationships and marriage. It is part of my kingdom assignment to help people in the body of Christ to grow and improve their relationships and marriages. I have learned through success and failure, study, mediation and revealtion by the Holy Spirit as well as counseling others for nerly 20 years.
Here are the 12 points of foreplay:
1. Be humble. Its not all about you.One of the first steps to understanding foreplay is getting yourself out of the picture and focusing on the needs and desires of your mate. This focus is first not sexual. It is being concerned about the welfare of the other person, and yes sometimes above your own. Why is this important? Because the other person must feel wanted, needed, honestly desired and come to a place of trust where they can be totally open and uninhibited (within biblical guidelines) sexually... 2 Chronicles 7:14 ( A humble and caring spirit will take you far.
2. Communicate openly and honestly. When you truly begin to share your heart, your hurts and hopes with your spouse, this will help them to open up. You must pray with and for each other to gain God's wisdom when to speak and how to share these things. God will prepare each person's heart to receive with understanding each thing that is shared without each person being judgemental. Honest communication can build intimacy and friendship.
3. Help each other to open up. You cannot force or demand that anyone opens up. You do this by opening up yourself, through your words, actions and integrity. By being the real and best person you can be for yourself, you help to open the door for your spouse to be real and to pursue their best. We must learn to be vunerable. "If you want what you have never had, you must do what you have never done.
4.Be responsible. Take care of yourself, your family and the future of your family. So many people in the body of Christ have allowed the devil to steal blessings and the future security of their family from them by the wrong use of money and resources. So many are in debt that it puts pressure on each spouse which steals their joy. Stop frontin and buying things you can't afford and then saying God has blessed you. The devil is a liar. Live with in your means and prepare for the future.....trust me it will help your sex life!
5.Have a plan for your future and the future of your family. Encourage your family members to pursue kingdom vision that God has placed within them. They will be happier as they feel valued and valuable. This will or can decrease tension and increase peace.
6.Date your spouse regulary. Whatever you did to keep her or him, continue to do those things once you are married. Husbands and wives, if you plan and set up a date with your spouse (pay for it yourself..pay for the whole date). This will help the other date feel that they are appreciated. Don's set up a date or event and expect the other spouse to pay for it. This can create silent resentment.
7. If you are married, you should not hang with and socialize with your single girlfriends or the boys. Why? Because your goals, your focus and your priorities are different. This has been a startegy that Satan has used successfully to destroy marriages.
8. Learn to love your spouse a thousand ways. Stop seeking a thousand men or women outside of your marriage. Make your marriage fun.Hold each other, kiss each other often, play with each other. show affection, sincere affection often. People like to feel wanted. Touch has power to heal and to produce trust.
9. Give each other personal quiet time and space. Because you are married doesn't mean that you must be like white on rice to each other. That is why trust is important.
10. Help to keep each other mentally, physically, spiritually fit. Stop putting mental, physical and spiritual junk into your self. Do something everyday to keep yourself fit.
11. Watch the words that come out of your mouth. Words can heal or hurt. Be quick to forgive each other when you make a mistake.
12. Stop limitimg yourself and each other. Do not let religious thinking limit how you love each other. Remember you are accountable to God not to the opinions of religous thinkers who do not have a clue. Ask them if they are happy in their marriages...LOL
Comment
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Comment by Fantasia Brown on January 6, 2013 at 1:07am
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Comment by Cynthia Allen on July 27, 2009 at 8:46am
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The information listed is vital, and very powerful. Should I be blessed to marry again. These 12 points will be vital to my marriage. I believe in marriages, and if one can focus on what each other needs are, instead of there own selfish needs allowing God to be first in their lives. The marriage can become a match made in HEAVEN!
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Comment by Elder Catrina Reese on July 25, 2009 at 11:04pm
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Exactly what my Pastor is discussing in our Kingdom marriage and relationship classes. AMEN!!
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Comment by Prophetess Yolanda O. Irons on July 25, 2009 at 9:48pm
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Where were you when I needed this ? This is really good guidelines for a good marriage . But unfortunately for me , it is late , I am currently separated and divorcing but I will keep this in mind if I ever marry again !
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