The Man God Has For You

While I was in my time of rest, God allowed me the opportunity to experience my Boaz, my husband Jeffery Appling. He came from out of no-where and provided many avenues of freedom that words cannot express. During my wait however, God prepared me for Jeff by studying and examining the book of Ruth. I hear women talk all the time about when their Boaz comes, not realizing the many principles needing to be in place before this can actually happen. Many women tend to stop at the financial realm of Boaz without grasping or comprehending the covenant relationship Boaz took upon himself. Prayerfully, together we can dissect the book of Ruth and help many women have rest during their wait.

Understanding Ruth

Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled, that therewas a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah (Houseof Bread and Praise) went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, andhis wife, and his two sons. Famine! What a powerful word that deserves a deeper look. What is famine? According to Webster’s Dictionary famine is defined as having lack of food in a place; time ofstarving; a great lack; scarcity or shortage.

Many women feel not having a man in their lives creates a deep void which creates a mind-set of being unloved and unwanted. Some women think arelationship with a man represents a place of refuge and holds a higher prominence or level of importance. In some cases womenassume that all the good men are gone or taken. This is why a few women think there is a shortage or scarcity of quality, decent men.

Other women suffer from emptiness, lack of validation, low self esteem and are broken by the constant pressure from society to

have a relationship. Thoughts of inadequacy and failure consume them to the point where they believe something must be wrong with their appearance, their personality or intellect. This perception is especially hard on single women with children. A number of single mothers believe they’ve lost their chance at happiness because of having children. This again creates a perception of lack. Still other women have been taught that without a man, your life has less value in society than it should be. It is thought to be harder for a woman who has divorced, especially for those who have grown accustom to a certain lifestyle. All of these perceptions and lies have lead women down a horrible path of loneliness, emptiness, low self-esteem and a lack of validation. This in return creates a place of emotional and spiritual famine. There are some married women who go through emotional and spiritual famine because of the choices they have made in marrying out of lack instead of love.

Women who do not take the time to heal and wait upon the Lord rush into what they believe to be their last chance of having a

companion. This creates a place of famine, because the woman has not allowed herself to be made whole. Thus she carries this pain into every relationship she is involved in. She searches for the nourishment of love while giving pieces of herself away to everyone who pays her a little attention. Without warning she realizes there is not much of her left. Now, not only is her heart in a place of 100 famine, but her spirit, her soul and her flesh have evaporated to a place of total dehydration.

I must be completely transparent during this passage. I was taught at a very young age that without marriage, there could be no

happiness. My quest in life was to find a husband at any cost. One of the reasons this was taught to me was because this was taught to the women in my life. This lesson was the main teaching throughout my early church days. Women’s roles were to be silent and a dutiful housewife. Many of the women in my family still believe that finding a husband is the prize of a lifetime. Please understand I am not against getting married. I enjoy the godly relationship that I have with my husband. But I am grieved when the entire existence of some women is to find a husband.

The interesting part of this verse says, in the days when judges ruled. Many of women today are living in the day when judges ruled. People’s opinion about a single woman creates much of the torment that lays a foundation for the loneliness to begin. We allow the voices of the world and the incorrect teachings to judge our heart and our destiny. Because of the constant pressure from the judges in my life to appear to be something more and to have the American wayof life, gave the enemy a foothold to move me into an emotional state of famine.

Judges are the people who think they know but they have no idea of God’s plans for you. They give advice and wisdom out of

their own pain and expect the same destiny for you. Ladies, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. The Bible is clear on this. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for thethings of the world, how she may please her husband (I Corinthians 7:34).I was taught that singleness was something horrible for a woman. But singleness gives every woman the great and wonderful opportunity to be holy in body and spirit. This is the precious time to completely bask and sit at the feet of Jesus. This time is priceless.

When God was preparing me for my Boaz, He dated me and loved me. He taught me about true love. This love is the one I wrote about earlier. This is not a time to be wasted on what the judges of the land think or say. But it has been given for a total awakening of who you are as a woman and what your worth is to the King of all Kings. Do not take it lightly.

One of the reasons I wrote perceived famine is because that is what it is. Your place of loneliness is real. Your place of hurt is

real. Your place of need is very real. But it is a choice. God said in His word in Deuteronomy 30:15 & 19-20 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil… Let heaven and earth be my witnesses against you this day that I have put before you life anddeath, a blessing and a curse. So take life for yourselves and for your seed. In loving the Lord your God, hearing His voice and being true to Him: for He is your life and by Him will your days be long.

Life with complete and total trust in God does not allow room for famine. For the life He gives comes out of loving the Lord, hearing His voice and being true to Him. When you make God the prize of your life instead of trying to find a husband, your days will be full of never ending life-giving water.

The verse also said, And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah (Houseof Bread and Praise) went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons. There are two key principles that women forget to do during

their time of perceived famine and that is praise and eat the fresh

bread provided.

God desires for His word and His words to be our bread during our wait, but often we are so busy looking around the corner for the next relationship that we miss the freshness of the daily bread. We as women continuously gravitate towards the stale bread which often leads to our emptiness. What is our stale bread? Gossip, soap operas, superficial worship, living in the past, not being content in the moment, and perpetrating a victim mentality. More often then not, we believe the worst about our situation and allow others to dictate the patterns of our lives.

When we come to the intimate place of lifestyle worship and unremitting, unrelenting, non-stop praise, we will then appreciate

the preparation process of waiting. True praise releases a battle cry to the enemy. It is powerful. It torments the enemy because Satan doesn’t understand why you can praise in the midst of your famine. Praise sends a message to the heavenlies and releases the glory of heaven on your behalf. It is not to be taken half heartily. It is a war cry. A sound created by the instrument of your mouth.

And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there.

This particular verse is interesting. In doing a word search in Strongs, I came across the meaning of each persons name and

received tremendous insight as to what God wanted me to write. Elimelech means My God is King. I need to stop right here and expand. When women begin to realize that God is King in and of their lives, they will not be content with anyone who will abuse them, mistreat them or strip them of their true identity. The catch to the phrase is “My” God is King. Make it personal. Take ownership of this wonderful aspect of God’s character. He is yours! You don’t have to worry about what time He will be home, because He is always with you. Excuses are not part of God’s vocabulary. So you don’t have to wait for an explanation of where He was. He’s always on time.

The word My identifies the level of intimacy you can obtain with Christ. My Personal Savior. My Redeemer. My Everlasting Father. My Source. My Restorer. My Jehovah. My Peacemaker. My Stone of Israel. My Manna. My Star. My Scepter. My Light of the Morning. My Lifter of My Head. My Fortress. My Rock. My Shepherd. My Strong and High Tower. My Rose of Sharon. My Friend That Sticks Closer Than Any Brother. My Lily of the Valley. My Sanctuary. My Prince of Peace. My Mighty God. My Counselor. My Rock of Ages. My Hiding Place From The Wind. My Tried Stone. My Maker. My Portion. My

Physician. My Resting Place. My Wall of Fire. My Ancient of Days. My Prince of Princes. My Ruler. My Stronghold. My Purifier. My Refiner. My Emmanuel. My Master. My Jesus. My Christ. When I think about Jesus in every dimension He is, it becomes personal. Glory be to His name!

Now let me take you to a whole new level. The man God has for you will always take you to the throne room. You will never have to remind him of who you are for he will know you are a daughter of God the King. God tremendously anoints the type of man who understands who he is in the kingdom while uplifting his wife. For his allegiance is to God not to the world. This calls for a truer level of love only given by God.

Mahlon is the husband of Ruth and his name means sick. Some of us women get caught up trying to save sick men. We think we can manipulate the Holy Spirit and change a man. We speak in tongues, fast and pray trying to receive some form of blessing upon the mess we just created. Why are we so desperate that we accept any old thing into our spirit, into our lives and into our souls? Sick men! Ungodly men who blame you for their demise. Men who believe you are to take care of them. Sick men! For some reason a lot of women are attracted to this type of man. “But I can change him.” It is not our responsibility to change a man. We were not created to take the place of the Holy Spirit. “You really don’t understand.” Understanding is not a prerequisite for foolishness. “I’ve been alone for so long.” This usually means “I don’t think anyone will love me

like him.” Another misconception is that love is magical. Love is the epitome of God’s character. Only God can give love in the confines of what a woman desires and needs. And only God can manifest this on earth through another person. “This is all I can get.” Love is not for getting purposes. It is a gift that is freely given in spite of our current status, circumstance or behavior.

Satan uses our mothering gifts to fool us in to thinking our love will make the difference.

Then there’s the sick man who is perverted. You must jump through hoops to please them sexually and all this is before marriage. They manipulate the very beauty of what was created to be a form of worship between a husband and wife and defile it. Sick men are the ones who beat you behind closed doors but perpetrate love for you in public. Sick men present the plate of fear and manipulation as a consistent source of nutrients and expect you to enjoy it’s taste. Sick men lie as a hobby to see how creative they can be and then brag to their friends about how good it is. Sick men are sent for your demise and for your destruction.

Chilion is the husband of Orpah and his name means pinning, trap, or to hold down. Here is another type of man women run to; men that trap. We are so caught up in the moment of romance, elegance, and the words I love you that we fail to see the trap. Just watch the Lifetime channel and you will see the reason why they can continue to broadcast is because so many women have these type of stories to tell. Abuse, adultery, sexual perversion, finances, lies, manipulation, all of these things are traps set up by Satan to destroy the purpose God placed deep within us.

One particular young lady called me about a young man she met on the internet. He explained himself as a saved holy young

man. He had high hopes and dreams. He was on his way up the latter to success. Jesus was his reason for living and he was looking for a woman. However, he didn’t believe that she was his wife. He told her that he feared the Lord and must let her go to pursue God’s heart. After he said this to her, she called me distressed. She told me that he truly must be the one because he is trying to lead her to the Lord. Now, to the naked eye, this seems to be true, but look closer. Is he truly leading her to the Lord or has he made himself the forbidden fruit? Her entire mindset is now on getting this man to love her. He did not lead her to God but lead her straight down a road of desperation. This was a trap to distract this young lady and cause her to be so desperate she couldn’t see straight. I explained to her what the enemy was trying to do, but because of her previous

teachings and misguided desperation for a husband, she could not hear me. Her mind was trapped on the possibility of losing another man. Finally, I had to tell her that until she truly wants help, there was nothing I could do. Before this happened, I advised her to take a year to just meditate on the love of God; To wrap herself up in the knowledge and grace of His word. I even told her to act out her commitment to God by preparing a cup of coffee for him everyday; To sit at the table and read scriptures to Christ everyday. This would teach her to wait upon the Lord. Her temptation came through the internet a device used by the enemy at times to seduce mankind.

Another type of sick men are the ones who don’t want you to excel. These men usually see what you can become and because of their insecurity, childhood abuse and past hurts, they twist your thinking to believe that you are less than what you truly are. Many of these types of men want control over your life, your destiny and your purpose. It is a brainwashing effect that happens with the woman. Again, because of incorrect teachings and past pains, women will filter this abuse as a form of love and give up their aspirations to please a man. In truth, they have just submitted to an early death.

And Elimelech Naomi’s husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.

Often women leave the place of covering that has been provided for them. This place is where we know without a shadow of a doubt that God is King. We are left with the remnants of our memories, the soreness of freshly covered scars and the emptiness of our thoughts. Our peace is repeatedly shattered due to a lack of understanding, wisdom and knowledge of who God is and who we are in God.

Moab means fatherless or who is the father. Moab is the nation birthed through the descendents of Lot. Lot conceived children by having a perverted relationship with his daughters. There are numerous women who leave the place of worship and bread to go into a fatherless land of perversion. Other women use Moab as a shortcut to the promises of God. Countless women get caught up in sexual acts believing the only way to have the love of a man is to have sex with them. Other women suffer from the fatherless syndrome. I call this the silent disease of the heart. It often goes undetected until something major happens to wake up the pain forgotten so long ago. Many times the sexual acts are a direct result of a woman not having a loving attentive father. The wounds run so deep that they don’t know or have been stripped of knowing who they are or why they exist. This road points to a very dry wilderness often leading to various types of natural and ultimately spiritual death. Sex becomes an addiction. Many women have no idea how to come out of the land of Moab in their lives.

My journey into the land of Moab began when I was just 17 years old. I started young seeking someone to fill the void in my life. I knew I was attractive, popular and I was a good student, but the truth is, I was lonely. For many years I was lonely. I tried to calm my mind with painting portraits and writing poems. It was a temporary fix for a deep embedded wound. Then it happened, I became sexually active. The first time was ugly and I couldn’t believe all the hype behind the act. I thought that I repented and wouldn’t do it again, but I wanted to be loved so much. My dream was to be married at age 20 and have the house with the white picked fence. I thought going into the land of Moab would be a short cut to the Promised Land. That didn’t happen. Instead, I got comfortable in the land of Moab. I started to build my home in this land. I became familiar with the spirits that dwelled there. There were times when I would leave one boy after having sex and go down the street and have sex

with another boy. I prided myself on being able to manipulate and handle more than one man at a time. Yet even in the midst of the pride, I would still feel so empty inside. I had no idea that the sexual encounters were creating a deeper hole in my heart. As I grew older, sex became an addiction. I was good at it. I learned the art of pleasing a man but I couldn’t heal my pain. Because of this it became a skill of the mind. I didn’t involve my heart. This mindset sent me on a destructive journey that enabled me to sleep with many men and yet not have any sense of who I was nor where I was going. The men became my identity and dictated my worth. I repeated this never-ending cycle for years, until truth opened my eyes. My last day in the land Moab was when God came and visited me. I was the Samaritan woman. I had experienced and married two men, had numerous boyfriends, kept a book of numbers for the just in case and in the midst of all of that, when I was the most thirsty, God came.

What He offered me was love, life, satisfaction, trust, and discipline and Godly character. Because I was so sinful, it took many years to be totally healed from the familiar spirits. When I walked out of that land, I didn’t look back. God began to clean me and take all the toxins out of my system. During this time, I stayed away from anything that reminded me of my land of Moab. I prayed, fasted and set a place for Jesus at my dinner table. I worshipped, read books on healing, and renewed my mind daily with devotionals and scriptures. I turned off the soap operas, sitcoms and movies and wrapped my whole entire being in the love of God. I didn’t have friends because what I thought was friends were really enablers that helped me sin. Every time the church door opened I was there.

I didn’t get involved with the people or church politics all I wanted was a word from the Lord. That was my cleansing time. No one else mattered but my children and my God. I didn’t have room or time to waste. My healing was too important and my destiny was too large to mess up now. I ran out of the land of Moab. I left the house, the memories and the people and I got free.

Why did I write all of this? Some of us learn by example. I am dwelling in my promise land right now. It’s being maintained at this very moment and it is much sweeter, peaceful and restful in Canaan then in Moab. How do you come out of Moab? You make a choice; A choice to live, to battle, to fight, to win and to survive with a life of abundance, clarity, hope and trust. It is an everyday choice for everyday challenges. It’s a choice between life and death.

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