Thoughts from a sinner. When you almost loose your life you realize that it’s time to get serious.

I want to be saved. I don’t want to be lost. I don’t want to go to hell. I want to know God for myself. I know he is real, because I have been taught that he is. How to truly find him is the real issue. I don’t go to church anymore with my momz because of some stuff I don‘t agree with. This world is so crazy and hard right now but I wake up everyday for some reason. It’s hard to find a job, people ain’t real no more and families are just messed up. I ain’t gone lie, many times I’ve been mad at God for my life but when I read my bible I understand some things better.

I’m going to be honest here. I have done some things that I’m not proud of and I want God to forgive me. I know he will but being in this world is like being lost in a jungle sometimes. I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing church or the church people but yawl make it hard sometimes. Momz church, strange is the best way to describe. I wonder sometimes if the pastor is witch or voodoo doctor. Ain’t gone get into much of all that but that’s why I’m not there. Sometimes when things change I don’t think parents know how to move on because they are use to something. Wasn’t like it was when I was a kid when it was straight up now this new fella got a different brand he pushing from the pulpit. Don’t sound like God to me but more like trickery, deception and witchcraft. That much I do know.

Lately, church seems like a big show. People got a lot to hide and they do. I ain’t gone say ain’t no real people in the church but they hard to find. How you gone help somebody find Jesus and you all messed up. I have visited other churches but I just can’t feel nothing. I remember going to church years ago and I did feel something. Everything felt right like God was there for sure. I know God ain’t a feeling but that’s the only way I can describe what I’m trying to say. I hear and see more bad stuff about the church than the good stuff. I know you got to go to church but if God ain’t there what’s the point. Why should I go. Sometimes I feel like you come out worse than if you just didn’t go.

Man, I came here to this site sometime ago but didn’t join. I was hoping to find something but I find the same stuff I see at regular church. I see a lot of people who don’t even sound like they saved. I had to email some of the stuff I saw here to other people to make sure I was seeing right. Man some of yawl people and your personalities come through loud and clear. I’m not here to try and make nobody mad but just wanted to tell you if you expect anybody to listen to you about God then some of you ain’t doing a good job at it. I may be a sinner but I have read the bible long enough to see that some of this stuff ain’t right. I know I don’t know or understand every thing I read but some things are just clear to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those brothas looking for a free pass to sin, I’m just the opposite. I want somebody to say what’s right for a change because I ain’t trying to make God mad and end up in hell. I hear a lot of folks telling me this is okay and that’s okay and I just don’t see that. Is it anybody who got the truth for me. When you almost loose your life you realize that it’s time to get serious. It’s a scary thing and you just don’t feel like playing around no more.

The last thing I want to say is this. I been taking notes on who say what on this site and it ain’t all bad. I ain’t got nothing but time on my hands these days. I find many here to be good and others, I don’t know what to say because I can’t judge nobody. I will say that if I want to know who God truly is I know who to steer clear of. Some of yawl confuse me…. I sometimes wonder who side you on. But I know ain’t nobody perfect especially not me but shouldn’t church folk act like church folk. I don’t see no different than the folks I see on the streets sometimes. Some of the stuff I read on these Christian sites make me shake my head.

Well I hope yawl understand where I am coming from cuz a brotha got some questions and I just want some real answers. I just decided to join to see what I can get that can help me understand what being saved is for real. Peace.

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