TO GIVE ADVICE OR NOT TO...WHEN IT IS ASKED OF YOU?

[Evangelist Val Robinson]

I was sitting thinking about how many people will come to you and /or call you for advice when they are going through and then will get angry with you after the response you give is not favorable to or accepted by them. I am beginning to accept that a lot of the time they really don't want your opinion..all they want is someone to rant, rage and complain to about their situation to and if you do give your opinion suddenly you become the enemy.

I have found it true also that if you have family members or friends who continually come to you and tell you they are hurting, being mentally, emotionally or even physically abused..your reaction is sometimes to get angry with the person who is causing the abuse and although you try to stay bias in the situation it is only human to advise them to leave or do what is necessary to make things better in such relationships..

But what happens when you give advise and then as stated in the beginning they make up (temporarily till the next incident) with the person and now the alleged abuser is once again the love of their life and they now see you as the one who is causing them hurt or pain because you told them to get out of the situation or that they desire better?

I have been dealing with this a lot as a friend, relative and as a minister,.the world say, oh..you should not say any thing just let them vent, thet'll be alright in the end but what exactly does the Lord say about this..Your'e the "bad" person for telling the truth..but when you say nothing they say you are uncaring about them or their situation..so what do you do?



I open the floor to discussion and ask all to give your insight on this subject and please do quote, write and apply all scriptures that apply as well.

Thanks in advance and I do this in prayer that someone's life, lifestyle and views may be changed and that all of us shall be changed for the better after this discussion.

God bless each of you in advance that will respond to this.
Note:
This entire post will be added to all my web pages because I feel it is such a important subject matter and many will benefit from your answers!.

HOW CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER UNLESS THEY AGREE?

[Evangelist Val Robinson]

Thanks Rev Luckett,

Thanks for such a valid point..too often we can go through a siliar situation and began to think we are experts in that thing but advice is a area that leaves a lot to be desired....I like when you said if the part about not trying to give advice in a area that you yourself still have issues or no resolve in your own life. i think the term "practice what you preach" applies right there.

Too often many study even the word to be able to give advice or preach a sermon when I think you should read it to live the life that you read about..let your life reflect what your message is.

These were very interesting,valid and true points..Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, as well!

God Bless!!

[Evangelist Val Robinson]

Wonderful Advice..

In my own experiences..I have ;earned that if you concentrate more on the issue and not the people having the issues ..you get better results..you are so right the truth does hurt if you are not ready to hear the truth...and your statement about whether or not the person is saved is very important because it is almost impossible to give a unsaved person information that they have no knowledge or comprehension of.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful point of view ...May God continue to guide you and allow you to do great work in your field as a counselor.

God bless!

[Tara Robinson]

You have to first consider the truth always hurts no matter how you say it. Second you have to consider the person is he or she a child of God;saved. Now I Know the word teaches that when you are in darkness you are blinded and can not see. Your desire is to fulfill the lust of the flesh and not the spirit so what ever destruction happens it is because of that.

Now Consider this person is a child of God the bibles teaches you should not be unequally yoked to unbelievers now if the person is married then you can't do much about that but what you can do is tell them what the word say. You can freely say I did not say this God did so don't get mad at me. Most of the time people in broken relationships want others to cosign their mess and if you don't then yes you be come the enemy. Truly when dealing with abusive situations you really learn not to lean to your own understanding but trust God to direct you sometimes he would not have you say anything at all but lets pray.

As a counselor I deal with theses problems all the time so what i don't do is talk against the abuser but encourage the other person to seek God get his direction for your life and I will keep you in my prayers. When I do that the person can not blame me and the devil can not use me as a target for the person and in the end they keep coming back for help and my response is the same until they are ready to leave that situation. This is how you keep your self from being offend by someone you tried to help.

[Evangelist Val Robinson]

Thank You Minister Busby for those wise words and for your giving scripture:

I am posting the chapter you gave here for all"

Acts 20 (King James Version)

Acts 20

1And after the uproar was ceased, Paul called unto him the disciples, and embraced them, and departed for to go into Macedonia.

2And when he had gone over those parts, and had given them much exhortation, he came into Greece,

3And there abode three months. And when the Jews laid wait for him, as he was about to sail into Syria, he purposed to return through Macedonia.

4And there accompanied him into Asia Sopater of Berea; and of the Thessalonians, Aristarchus and Secundus; and Gaius of Derbe, and Timotheus; and of Asia, Tychicus and Trophimus.

5These going before tarried for us at Troas.

6And we sailed away from Philippi after the days of unleavened bread, and came unto them to Troas in five days; where we abode seven days.

7And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.

8And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together.

9And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead.

10And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him.

11When he therefore was come up again, and had broken bread, and eaten, and talked a long while, even till break of day, so he departed.

12And they brought the young man alive, and were not a little comforted.

13And we went before to ship, and sailed unto Assos, there intending to take in Paul: for so had he appointed, minding himself to go afoot.

14And when he met with us at Assos, we took him in, and came to Mitylene.

15And we sailed thence, and came the next day over against Chios; and the next day we arrived at Samos, and tarried at Trogyllium; and the next day we came to Miletus.

16For Paul had determined to sail by Ephesus, because he would not spend the time in Asia: for he hasted, if it were possible for him, to be at Jerusalem the day of Pentecost.

17And from Miletus he sent to Ephesus, and called the elders of the church.

18And when they were come to him, he said unto them, Ye know, from the first day that I came into Asia, after what manner I have been with you at all seasons,

19Serving the LORD with all humility of mind, and with many tears, and temptations, which befell me by the lying in wait of the Jews:

20And how I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you, but have shewed you, and have taught you publicly, and from house to house,

21Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.

22And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the things that shall befall me there:

23Save that the Holy Ghost witnesseth in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions abide me.

24But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.

25And now, behold, I know that ye all, among whom I have gone preaching the kingdom of God, shall see my face no more.

26Wherefore I take you to record this day, that I am pure from the blood of all men.

27For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.

28Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

29For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.

30Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.

31Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.

32And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.

33I have coveted no man's silver, or gold, or apparel.

34Yea, ye yourselves know, that these hands have ministered unto my necessities, and to them that were with me.

35I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

36And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all.

37And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him,

38Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake, that they should see his face no more. And they accompanied him unto the ship.