Black Preaching Network

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY HUSBAND COMMIT ADULTERY?

What should I do If My Husband commit Adultery?
Should I forgive him after he has asked for forgiveness? Or I should divorce him as the only ground for divorce?
We are dealing with a lot of people having this problem now in our ministry?

Thank you all for your advice but you need to hear this:
During the 2nd world war, grenade blew a Soldier's face and deformed him. So many people came to visit him in the hospital and they all said the same thing that, we understand what you are going through and we feel your pains. The man shook his head and said No to them all. He said to them, "You can never understand my pains until grenade blow your face..." Meditate on that friends.
Please, contribution requested.

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Comment by Fadayomi Yinka on August 7, 2009 at 12:35pm
Uhmm. Sister you are right. It easier said than done.
What you are saying can be summarized under two words: Sympathy and Empathy.
Sympathy means, “I understand how you feel”.
Empathy means, “I feel how you feel”.

Though, most people don’t believe in this word – “forgive and forget”. That’s why a lot of people are having problem with their marriages today. They said I have tried everything but it is not working out. When you forgive your spouse, you must forget what he/she has done against you. Every child of God has a life of God in him/her. We have Zoe (active life of God) in us and we have God’s attributes in us as well. God forgives and forgets our sins. He doesn’t see our sins. He forgets our sins i.e. He doesn’t even remember our sins anymore.
We are expected to do the same as believers. We should forgive our spouses of any wrongdoing and forget (remember no more).

Few verses below:
“Remember not the sins of my youth…” Psalm 25:7.
“…Will not remember thy sins” Isaiah 43:25. When you don’t remember, that means, you forget completely.
“For thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back” Isaiah 38:17b.

God casts our sins behind His back because He doesn’t look back and He has never looked back. Everything starts and ends with God. He is the beginning and the end (Rev.1:8).

When your spouse sins against you and you forgive him and you don’t forget. A month or months later, devil reminds you of what your spouse has done. devil tells you, why must he/she do this to you or treat you this way? You said it is unfair. You tend to react negatively to that and it affects your marriage. When devil tries to remind you of what your spouse has done. You tell him point blank that your spouse has not done anything wrong to you. He/she didn’t do it. This is where renew your mind comes in.

“Love covers multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8.
Every other thing will fail except love. Love never fails…1 Cor. 13:8.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”.
1 Corinthians 13: 13.

One of the greatest virtues of love is, “Love keeps no record of wrongs…” I Cor.13: 4-7.

Many Christians have practiced this, “forgive and forget” in their marriages and they have seen God at work. Today, they are all enjoying marital bliss. So, forgive and forget! God help you.

Stand for your marriage. Fight for everything the enemy has stolen in your life and marriage. Forgive and forget your spouse no matter what he/she has done. God is a God of restoration! He will restore all the years that cankerworm, palmerworm, grasshopper has eaten in Jesus name. Amen.
Be blessed.
Comment by Min. Jenine Warren on August 6, 2009 at 7:03pm
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I wrote a book called The Ministry of a Wife: Marriage is Ministry from this experience. I know you would greatly benefit from reading it. You can go to my website www.kingdomscribespublishing.mysite.com to purchase. If you do not have the money I can email you a copy at no cost. If so email me at kingdomscribespublishing@yahoo.com Be blessed
Comment by Min. Jenine Warren on August 6, 2009 at 6:59pm
Hello Omoola,
It is with great pleasure that I share with you from my experience as well as what the bible says and from the lesson that I have learned. I am currently married to my 2nd and last husband in Jesus name. My previous husband not only committed one act of adultery but serveral and he refused to stop, I divorced him not because he committed adultery but because he refused to stop. So what do you do? Good question. This really depends on your committment to God. Your responsibility is to let go and let God. You must pray and allow God the opportunity to step in and minister to you and your husband. Get some counseling. Your marriage doesn't have to end from one act of adultery. Though biblically you have every right to do so. There is nothing wrong for a believer to extend grace and mercy to their spouse. Jesus did it for you. Don't listen to people who mock you because of your decision whatever it may be. This may be challenge for you. But whether you are married to him or someone else, challenges will come. It may not be adultery but nonetheless a challenge where you'll have to do the exact same thing. Let go and let God! When I turned the situation over to God, for real, it meant that, I stopped questioning him, nagging him and begging him to change. I closed my mouth, interceeded, and ministered the love of God to him. Yes, I was still, angry, frustrated, hurt and unhappy. But when I got out of the way, I saw God step in and do what I couldn't! I couldn't make him stop cheating and I couldn't make him leave me. But God did both. When you allow God to use you as a vessel to minister the love of God, without accusation and judgment you invite the power of God to be manifested on your behalf. Understand that you can't change him but you can change yourself! With God involved, His power will either draw him or drive him. Your testimony will be God did it, not you! With me, my ex refused to respond to God appropriately, not me appropriately but he refused God! In which today he is serving a natural life sentence with no parole. He was supposed to be executed, but I prayed that God would reverse that decision, they reversed it. So you see, God wants to strectch you, develop you more in the love of God. Sometime we can't jump out of the frying pan because it's hot, the fire under the pan is hotter. At some point, we must yield to God's way, or we will never experience the faithfulness of God. I have an awesome husband today. And though marriage still has it's challenges, our relationship is strong. I hope I've said something to spark some insight. Maybe God wants to make an example of you and your marriage in your ministry. I am praying for you!

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