2010 A New Year for Parental Involvement

[William Jackson]

2010 A New Year for Parental Involvement

The beginning of this New Year parents will reflect on the monetary costs of this past holiday season,
but a more important focus should be on the time spent with their children. The boxes have been
opened, batteries installed, games configured, jewelry and clothes worn or returned, Internet connections
established and gift cards spent; what else is left? What lasting memories have accumulated with children?

Having been raised in a single parent home with two other siblings, we celebrated the holidays with family,
food, a few gifts, but above all celebrating how we love each other and being thankful for the things that we
did have. As a family we attended church that reminded us that this is the time when a man was born to
take our sins, to teach the Word of God and to show us a better way. It was not about money, material
things, but about love.

This age of digital photography and movie making allows people to capture moments of joy, happiness,
surprise, wonder, and above all Love. If these are not the pictures that were digitally caught this holiday
or embedded in the synapses of the soft tissues of our brains then maybe the true meaning of Christmas,
Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other celebration has been lost. In the forefront of this season our religious
or spiritual connect should have been the first priority. The focus should have been
on spending time with our loved ones especially our children. Not buying their love, but nurturing
it, sharing our parental love.

This was the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, son of the Living God. This was not the season
for celebrating Wal-Mart, Publix, Winn Dixie, Ross, Lowe’s, nor Home Depot. Unfortunately others
would have you think differently by the use or misuse of advertising that inundated our televisions,
radios, and web sites for weeks even before December. However we choose to say it, Christmas or
trying to be politically correct; the Holiday Season, parents should have taken the time to rekindle
the love and passion they should have for their children.

As a divorced father of two and one who knows firsthand the sacrifices, trials, and challenges of sharing
a holiday with an ex-spouse, I looked forward to spending my time with my children. Plain and simple
I love my children, and make sure that I spend time with them. I have learned that child support cannot
substitute what I teach them about life. What I have learned from my mistakes and my successes, money
cannot teach that I have high expectations for academic and career success. Money cannot show my
willingness to go beyond money to support their dreams, ambitions and desires. If I do not show and teach
these things then I’m not doing my job as a parent and as a man. This is not the time to outspend, out do,
out talk, nor verbally put down the other parent as I have witnessed and experienced. This time that I spend
with my children and other parents should use this time from distractions to teach, share, celebrate and even sacrifice for the greater good of the love as parents that we have for our children.

Having a girlfriend with children also brings a responsibility to model respectful behavior and to accept her
children as mines as well. Unfortunately many men want the woman, but fail when it comes to her children.
Being a true man also involves being a model for those that are not sharing your blood, but that do share
your time. Time to share love not just to your children, but to children the you have a influence on and building
a family with.

This New Year of 2010 parents need to teach their children to love their neighbors not try to steal their
neighbor’s bikes or gaming systems. Parents need to teach their children to share their blessings with
those who are less fortunate, not tease those children whose parent’s economic situation has been
devastated by this recession. This sharing allows God to work on those who have and give hope and
build faith on those who have not.

Celebration of the love a parent has for their child, not by just buying toys, clothes, electronics or gift cards
with will be broken, worn out, lost and spent, but spending time and building bridges or reinforcing existing
ones with memories that will last a life time. Many of us may not remember the those toys from the past,
but know the warm embraces of love, the sloppy kisses from momma, auntie, and grandma. The tickling
fingers of parents and loved ones. You may remember holding hands with aging parents and grandparents
that have passed away and parents who are deployed in far off dangerous lands. Be happy parents that you
are here with your children and they are with you.

Parents as you celebrate a New Year don’t make New Year resolutions that you won’t keep, resolutions
that are selfish, but a willingness to spend more time with your child, to teach them, to guide them, to love
them, but not to buy them.

Parents that have children from other relationships take responsibility for them as well, they did not ask to
be brought into this world. Acknowledge them; recognize that they are a part of you. The children that you
help to create share your blood so you should share your love in this New Year. It is easy to
show love no matter the distance, send a card, send flowers, make a phone call, send a text, send a email
with a message of love. There are no excuses now in our digital age of instant communication
and constant contact.

Where would we be today if God was selfish with his son, selfish with his love and did not love us as his
children? As a song once said “What if God was one of us” (Joan Osborne) Where would be today?
Fact of the matter where will you be with your children in this New Year of 2010?