WHAT TO LOOK FOR BEFORE YOU SAY I DO
The Bible makes a powerful statement. We read it earlier in Proverbs 18:22 “He that findeth a wife”. In other words, it was not a wife in preparation.
- Not a “want to be” wife.
- Not an unprepared wife.
It was someone who was fully matured for the task.She would have met all the qualifications and specifications of being a wife.
MEN THESE IS WHAT YOU LOOK FOR.This is a virtuous woman.In Proverbs 31:10, the Bible says “Who can find a virtuous woman?”.
It’s the same word phrase used in Proverbs 10, only this time it gives the qualifications of such a woman:
1. She’s trustworthy. (Proverbs 31:11). Marriage is for persons who are trustworthy.
2 She’s industrious – not lazy. (v. 13, 16, 27). She knows how to care for a man and how to feed him.
3. She knows of being clean and tidy. (v. 13)
4.Her self-esteem is intact. (v. 10, 15).Her whole emotional state is in tact.
5. She is hospitable. (v. 15, 22).
6. She comes covered. (v. 22). She knows how to carry herself in etiquette.
7. She is not afraid to make her husband known.She is not embarrassed to make him known.Some are afraid because of behaviour, hygiene, character.
8. She knows of clothing.(v. 25).Strength does not only speak of external. She is a woman of strength. She knows how to give and to receive honour.
9. She speaks with wisdom. When she speaks, it causes you to stand and take heed because of her wisdom.
10. She is committed and responsible.
The reward for this virtuous woman is:
- Her children praise her.
- Her children call her blessed.
- Her husband also praises her – “bigs her up”.
11. She prays for her family. (v. 28-31).
The thing is there are no prerequisites laid out like that for men.
We have men who would find virtuous women and end up destroying and belittleing their value.
- How? We don’t esteem them.
- Always point out their faults making them feel less than a lady.
Let’s look at men of character and integrity.
THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU LOOK FOR LADIES:
1. One who honours his parents. If a man does not honour especially his mother, he cannot honour his wife. A man of character is one who is righteous in his dealings with others.
2.His self-esteem is intact. He knows his worth and is not crippled with emotional garbage.
3. He shows forth leadership skills Not controlling.
4. He loves unconditionally.
5. He must know how to communicate. He must be able to communicate his feelings.
- His fears.
6. He must know how to love which brings binding .
7.He is not selfish (Phil 2:3). It’s not about pleasing himself.
8. He must be a priest, prophet and king now or he is immature for marriage.
9. He must not be given to alcohol and abusive (Col. 3:12-15).
10. He must be clothed with compassion, practice kindness. He must be willing always to give not expecting to get.
11. He must be known for humbleness of mind. Always ready and willing to esteem others above himself.
12. He must be able to take care – showing he too must be industrious (1 Timothy 5:1-10)
- The Bible says if he can’t take care of family spiritually, emotionally, he is worse than an infidel.
- He is a parasite.
Satan hates marriage. It provokes him to bring confusion, misunderstanding and separation.
- That’s the reason for confusion, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, provocation and vexation in marriage.
- The reason for divorce and separation.
Scripture tells us why Satan is against marriage:
Heb 13:4 - Marriage brings honour to God. Satan desires disgrace.
Prov 18:22.- He doesn’t want us to obtain God’s favour and blessing and prosperity and protection.
Ecc 4:9.- Two are better than one.
- He doesn’t want you united in agreement and prayer because he knows nothing would (shall) be impossible to you.
- This is a serious threat to his kingdom so he looks for ways to bring disagreement.
Mal 2:15. - He doesn’t want Godly offspring from you to perpetuate the covenant of God. He prefers illegitimate children (bastards).
Matt. 16:18. - Where two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst and the devil cannot stand it.
Marriage makes you whole.
It does not mean you are not whole before marriage.
- It is through marriage that you legitimately fulfil God’s command to be fruitful and multiply.
- Marriage is good and can make you happy and fulfilled. Ecclesiastes 4:10
The devil wants you to work alone, so that when you fall, no one is there to encourage you or lift you up.He brings confusion that you mistreat each other and then man’s prayers are hindered.His most powerful weapon against the children of God is premature exposure.
- He does not fight marriage after the wedding but uses the subtle and dangerous weapon of premature exposure.
- He fights long before when we are children so that it becomes more difficult for us to have a fulfilled marriage.
Moral authority, purity and fidelity are strong defence weapons to securing any marriage.
- Sex before or sex outside of marriage is one of his most powerful weapons used in premature exposure.
If you claim to be a virgin, you are teased.Called names.Picked on.Pressured, subtlety and craftily – directly and indirectlyYou are made to feel you are missing out on something.But rather fidelity, chastity and purity are the greatest presents you can give you spouse after the ceremony of marriage.
Premature Exposure to Marriage BY Dr. ANTHONY YARDE
You need to be a member of Black Preaching Network to add comments!
Join Black Preaching Network