I have recently discovered my wife has been totally unhappy as first lady and even the life style and sacrifices of building a church. She loves the Lord and Loves our family, however our most recent discussion she revealed she has been unhappy for at least the last 3 years. We are working it out, however there is a lot of repairing and regrouping we must do.

Statistics show that 80% of 1st Ladies, are in this similar situation. We have come to the decision that as Pastor I have not listened to her enough to make this more of a team effort. Yes we listen to God for direction, however God placed the women in our life to be a "help meet" according to Genesis 2:18

I am sure there are many in this situation and do not realize it. I was totally shocked when we discussed it at almost the point of separating. Given the opportunity to discuss this issue openly with your spouse, you might be surprised of how much she has felt she needed to hold in and carry alone.

Stop hiding hurt and heal your marriage.

Marriage Helper

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Replies to This Discussion

This is wonderful advise. My husband is the assistant Pastor of our church and I feel the same way even at my level. In the beginning my husband tried to force me into being active in the church, and through much prayer and conversation he now see's how I feel. It's not important to me to be a busy body in the church. What is important to me is that I do what God has called me to do, in the church. It has been over a year now and I am still not active (meaning over a ministry). I see that God is preparing me in other ways for the time when my husband is called as the Pastor of a church, because it can be a struggle. But we now trust that when God says for me to do this or do that, I will be fully prepared. I encourage you to keep talking to your wife. Give her what she needs. Because when the Lord says "GO", she will be prepared and willing to "GO".

Stay encouraged.
My beloved Sister, your words are really encouraging and I believe that with prayer and communication God will minister to the wife. But the word of God says that if you are not faithful in little, then how can you be in much and also what a man sow you shall reap. If you are waiting when you husband is the senior pastor to serve, it is totally wrong. If God don't need your service in that church I believe he would have moved you to another place or let your husband be the head pastor. I was associate pastor's wife for 8years before God moved us to start a church and my husband and I served without reservation, today God is turelly rewarding us. Its a struggle at first but God who has call us will give us the garce if we ask.

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