One of my favorite quotes is "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."....Dr. Maya Angelou

Question.
Once a man and woman who both love God, begin dating what steps MUST they take in order to keep the union holy until marriage, or while exploring the possiblity of marriage. When should this even become an issue for discussion?

Let's talk about it

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Replies to This Discussion

Thanks Sister, because that's a good start and is for sure number one on the list. What else?
Honestly do I not think any couple can hold the union Holy if they not go married very fast with the risk to go into the marriage with something more in mind than only be married for love.

To keep it Holy only works if the two stay away from each other because if you are in real love, there is also the other feeling too when being close to each other.

I wondering how much Holy must it be ?

I was once in a church with my ex. fiancee and in that church was we not allowed to sit close to each other. In that strict church was it not allowed to even hold hand or less to kiss....where is the limit ?

We are not created robots, we have feelings in more than the heart and we can sit here and be so "Holy" and say we will not have sex before marriage but in real life do I not think so many couple can hold it.

I wish I could say something else but my experiences of churches and love in the church are like what I say.
So glad you said what you said, because it is about keeping it real..
Your experience is the same as so many of us. The church you attend will play a role in what you do or don't do (I think). Are they (the church) addressing this issue openly? Pastor Samuels' recent blog on the subject was very inciteful and brought about a much needed discussion. We will be better served when we open up to what is real in our walk, in relation to what God expects from us. BTW:I'm with you, we are not robots!.
Yes, Eva's point is well taken, it ain't easy. You have to deal with it up close, it won't work it's self out.

" But I am in control of how way that goes."

Wow that's powerful Tricia, you are hitting it!

Step 1. Pray! Pray! Pray!
(talk it over with God & be strengthened)
Step 2, Be in control of your own actions
(He swept me off my feet is a lie) We decide..

Wow this is good, I hope the Brother's add to the conversation...
First,
I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading all the post. Tricia I really enjoyed what you said in your post about having your relationship with God tainted. I also liked how Eva just came out and kept it real :). The orginal question asked is a very good and powerful question. I would think that because we have a "flesh" that we have to put under subjection to the Holy Spirit daily, that you have to find a partner doing the exact same thing. I keep Job:31:1 (I made a covenant with my eyes not to look upon a woman with lust) any woman that I shall meet and date has to connect with my spiritually and not lustfully. No man wants to meet Deliah. A woman who looks good but her purpose is to steal what God has blessed you with.
I think we need to be totally transparent with one another . When you are in a relationship , it is best that you come to each other naked and not ashamed ... meaning be completely honest about everything and each other . We keep on saying "keep it real " but when it is time to come clean with the past or the insecurities , we pull back ... why ? The same thing with our relationship with the Lord , we say that we want to be real with the Lord, but we don't trust Him enough to bear it all . We say , we love God but we cannot confess about faults to him and one another . We need to look at all sides and really ask oureselves that question again ...
IF HE AND SHE HAVE TRULY GOT WHAT THEY SAY THEY GOT MEANING THE HOLYGHOST. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVEN BE DISCUSSING THIS. MARRIAGE IS HOLY AND THE BED IS UNDEFILED. I HAVE BEEN CELIBATE FOR 5 YEARS; SO UNTIL I GET A HOLY MAN THAT AINT PLAYIN CHURCH; ONE WHO TRULY WILL LOVE ME AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH. I SHALL REMAIN SO; I WONT COMPRIMISE MY SALVATION FOR 15 MINUTES OF PLEASURE.
this is such a good topic because I can show you a flip side to this. The question is once a couple who both love God BEGIN dating what steps do they take to keep things HOLY until marriage? Because of the fear of this very issue. I am so nervous about dating. I tend to shy away because I am afraid that getting close to someone will bring on intimacy and I dont want to fall temptation. Yes I believe God is a keeper, but I try and help him out by avoidance! not good. I am nervous about myself much less the man. As a Pastor I don t want to be preaching in the pulpit about abstinence and I am not holding out. It's not like I am meeting an over abundance of single men who love God anyway. But when I meet someone and they don't have a spiritual walk with God ( All of them say I believe in God) it's pretty much a done deal for me. So I stay away from dating however I do want to marry when God sends that man looking for me!

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