How do you all feel about a woman having to step up as pastor, because of whatever circumstance with her husband, such as death, sickness, steps out of position/fall into sin and no longer decides to obey the Lord, etc.. Would you see this as her being the help meet in carrying the ministry until someone else is raised up, such as the son? I see this has to happen a lot because of no ministers willing to take position, not in position, no one trained for situation such as this, or no assistant pastors to take position. And if this has to happen, what do you think is the proper way to handle it. Is it biblical knowledge associated with it?

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I don't believe that just because a Christian woman happens to be married to a brother (who is gifted to pastor) that she is obligated to "step up as pastor" in his absence.

 

When she married him, she married a man - not a spiritual gift. Sure, she is his helpmate, but being a helpmate does not mean that God expects her to try and fulfill *HIS* spiritual function in the body of Christ when he is not able to. For the wife to "step up" into her husband's former position assumes that it is God's will for her to pastor, and that He has indeed given her the gift of pastoring. Pastoring is not a secular office that someone can just step into because the slot is empty. It is not transferred through marriage or genetics (i.e. to the wife or a son of a man who pastors). Nor should people assume that this gift is just automatically transferred to a wife merely because her husband no longer shepherds. Pastoring is a spiritual gift, and it must be distributed to you by the Holy Spirit, according to God's will. 

 

If this is a moderate sized assembly, and they have been gathering together for some time - there is a serious problem if there are NO other elders to oversee, guide, and shepherd their brethren. There should have been other elders and mature Believers shepherding alongside her husband the entire time. The Holy Spirit raises up elders in a healthy assembly, and as the people recognize them by their fruit - they are appointed or ordained with the laying of hands. The assembly should be able to move forward in another elder's absence. The wife should not feel obligated or pressured to step up to a ministry that God has not given her, merely because her husband was gifted to pastor and he is no longer in this ministry. And the people should not have an unrealistic unbiblical expectation for her to do so. Her spiritual description is to be a godly wife and mother - not a "substitute shepherd" when her husband steps down. And where are the deacons? Some of the God-fearing men in this assembly should be functioning as deacons. Why does the wife feel like she has to step up? Are the deacons slacking off spiritually?

 

Let's say that this is a small gathering of Believers and her husband was the only elder. In time, the Holy Spirit will raise up godly men to be elders and guide the flock as shepherds. It will require patience, wisdom, and discernment on behalf of this small assembly to wait on God to raise up who He wants and show them who desires this good work and is qualified to be appointed. I think it does a disservice to the wife and the entire assembly to put her in that position merely because her husband stepped down for whatever reason. Churches should not be run as religious monarchies anyway, with the entire assembly looking up to one man and his wife for spiritual guidance. That is not a New Testament pattern, and it leads to all sorts of problems such as this one, where the wife (i.e. "first lady") feels obligated and pressured to assume a ministry that she doesn't even have, just because her husband is absent. It's kind of like the saints have given the pastor's wife a "pastoral office" merely because she's married to a brother who happens to be a pastor. God did not establish this set-up for women who are married to brothers that shepherd the flock. It puts them under a lot of unnecessary hardship, stress, anxiety, and even depression. One of the reasons why many "first ladies" feel so crushed by religious burdens. God doesn't give us more than we can bear, but man will.

Yes brother if the woman sheperded along with her husband and the man gets sick, dies, run out on her/the church for another woman (these days man) then this is not considered as him stepping down he "dropped" or passed the paton he is through.  According to the law of the Spirit, God will use the woman.  No truly saved woman is going to pastor knowing that she is not capable, i know too many who have stepped aside after their husband died for this very reason.  They knew they could, teach, sing, lead prayer meeting, everything that comes along with being supported help but pastoring my friends say they were just not ready to do.  Amen  So men or women should not be pressured into pastoring.
Amen.
Oh and God bless you for this thread Joseph. You presented a very good scenario. My heart goes out to sisters who are married to men who shepherd. They are so strained and pressured, partly because false assumptions about their role as a "pastor's wife" has been thrust upon them by man. There are so many preconceived notions and false ideas about what a woman should or should not do if she is married to a man who pastors. It is good for us to discuss these things in light of Scripture and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I would like to see all of these burdens lifted off the shoulders of God's daughters so that they can be free indeed.

I agree. I believe there should be other equipped elders to take the lead, which is also why it is good for ministries to not be soley independent, but in some form of a fellowship where if this was to occur and none in the church were in the position to lead, someone could be sent over.

 

Now, do you believe that the pastoral mantle can fall on the wife to carry on the ministry for a certain amount of time?

 

By "mantle" do you mean "spiritual gift"? I don't see any examples in Scripture of the pastoral gift being transferred to a man's wife (or any of his relatives) for a temporary time period. There isn't even any need for that to happen, because the "1-man-pastor" system isn't a New Covenant pattern. The New Covenant pattern is a plurality of elders serving among the brethren, not one man (and sometimes his wife) at the top of a religious hierarchy leading everyone else.

And yes, as in God allowing the wife to flow in that anointing long enough to raise up someone else and even soon more than one to be in that rightful position in the situation of having no other leaders. I do not believe there should be a "1 man-pastor" system for too long, maybe for a time if it started off that way, but overtime there should me more than one.There is still a lead to everything though. But like when a mother has to step up when her husband/child father is no longer around, or was never around, unless she gets married again and a man can take that responsibility.

I just know I see this happen, some instances I agree with and some I don't. I know of a place where there was no one in place to lead the church (for whatever reason) after the husband died, so the wife has stepped up and is leading them until someone can take over. In this case they couldn't just let the ministry "go away" and perish.

 

But, nevertheless, I do agree with everything you are saying.

Hey Joseph,

 

Oh okay, I see what you're saying.

 

I've seen these scenarios play out before as well. But I don't think the wives somehow stepped up into the pastoral gift because God transferred it to them. It was more a situation where the wife stepped up in encouraging/exhorting the saints because she felt obligated or pressured to do so.

 

As far as a mother stepping up in the father's absence. I think that's impossible to do because men and women are so different by Divine design. Like, if a man dies and leaves his wife a widow, she may have to work extra hard to provide financially for her children. She will have to do her best to help her children in areas where her husband was suppose to. . . but that doesn't mean that she has stepped up into his role, because it's impossible for a mother to become a father - no matter how much stepping up she does, or how hard she tries to fulfill his role - she can't. There are certain masculine characteristics that men possess, which are unique and can only be contributed by a father. I mean, take a look at the black community (which is very much led by single mothers), see what happens when the father is not there and women try to "step up" to fill in the man's gap. It doesn't work, it's dysfunctional. I feel the same way about wives trying to step up into their husband's former pastoral ministry. No matter how much these women try to step up, they are still Christian women who are for the most part not gifted to shepherd. God put that gift in their *husbands* to contribute to the body. Things don't work out the same or as well when a relative (the wife or son) tries to step up and stand in the gap. I mean sure, they can encourage the saints and so on, but that doesn't mean that God has somehow gifted them to shepherd.

 

What did you mean by "In this case they could just let the ministry go away and perish." ? Are you referring to the pastoral ministry?

I agree, that what I was saying, I guess I said it wrong, dealing with the wife situation in her children's lives. I know she can't take his role, but only work extra hard, as well as with the church, as you said to encourage them and exhort them. I believe if they have the ministry at heart it wouldn't be hard for them to keep them lifted and focused on the main point, as she allows God and let the Lord lead her in finding that covering for the ministry.

 

By that statement I just meant what I had already stated as in not leaving the saints alone and dry, but keeping them around basically and not letting everyone be scattered, but keeping them together, as she momentarily does what she can.

Oh I see. Yes, I agree with that. I think the elect lady mentioned by John served in that type of role@guiding the flock and keeping them together.

Amen. And that is a way to look at it, because of course there had to be a situation where he couldn't write to the husband. It is important for the wife to have the ministry's well being at heart as well. She is the help-meet and caring for the ministry is apart of that role.

The major problem for churches facing a succession issue is that their pastors failed to groom leadership to carry on the work. A pastor should have an eye developing leadership (perhaps a team?) that can sustain the ministry in the event of his absence (death or a long illness).

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