Sex is a crucial area of Christian singleness. Sex is so crucial because it is so intimately related to who we are. And it's the area in which many single believers find their biggest struggle...

In 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Paul discussed sex outside of marriage. The bottom line of his argument was that sex outside of the marriage covenant is sin and is totally contrary to God's agenda for single believers. That bedrock truth never changes in any culture or any setting.

Paul was arguing that sexual purity outside of marriage is demanded because of God the Father, it's expected because of God the Son, and it's possible because of God the Spirit. Some Christian singles falter in this area because they lose sight of the theology and limit themselves to the anthropology involved...

In other words, whenever you hear someone saying, "But I'm only human," that's an anthropological argument. But, if you are a believer you are more than just a human. You are a saved human, and you have God's power for purity resident within you.

Some people say sex is like food. When you're hungry, you eat. No big deal. But Paul answered that in 1 Corinthians 6:13. The stomach may be for food, he said, "yet the body is not for immorality."

If your date tells you he washed his car and bought a new suit for this date and expects something more than a good night at the door, tell him, "You washed your car? Ok, I will help you put the dirt back on your car. And you bought a new suit? I'll go with you while you take it back." You are far too valuable to be used by undisciplined men for their gratification.

God created your body to be used for His glory, not simply to satisfy either your own or someone else's passion unless it is within the proper functioning of marriage...

See, God does not condemn sex outside of marriage because sex is bad. He condemns sex outside of marriage because it's so good when used properly within marriage.

You say, "Wait a minute, preacher. Let's get practical. I have the same passions as married people. Where do you expect me to get the ability to control my normal passions?" From God the Father. Christian singles have the same power available to them that God used when He raised Christ from the dead.

So a single person's ability, or lack thereof, to control his or her sexuality has to do with the lack of accessing God's power. It has nothing to do with the level of a person's passions...

Sex outside marriage is so destructive because it is far more than a physical act between two people. There is a spiritual union that takes place when two people engage in sexual intercourse. It is like a marriage in terms of the intimacy, but it is deadly because there is no marital commitment to cement the union...

So if sex is simply an act of temporary gratification, when the two people pull away from each other, a part of their spirit tears away and remains with the other person.

And for the Christian, there's more. Because we are joined to Christ, whatever we do sexually, we bring Jesus in on. So Paul's question was, "Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? may it never be!" (v. 15).

Sex outside of marriage for a believer is such a damaging sin because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (see v. 19). And Paul had warned earlier, "If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are" (1 Corinthians 3:17).
A person who engages in sex outside marriage is like a man who robs a bank. He gets what he wants in a hurry, but when it catches up with him he has to pay for it a long time.

But the morally pure single is a depositor in the bank. She keeps saving and gaining interest so that when it comes time to make a withdrawal she can enjoy her life's savings.

Single Christian, if you want to have a sexual "savings account" to draw on in marriage, don't spend what you have now. If your kingdom commitment is to remain abstinent, Paul gave you the solution to sexual compromise: "Flee immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18). The Greek means "vamoose, bye-bye, get out of there." Flee to the Lord, and wait for Him. He has the kingdom plan for sex.

Rev. Arlee Turner Jr., God's Ultimate Weapon Ministry

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Amen!  As those declaring the Word of God, we must speak God's truth.  Yes, the struggle is difficult.  We must crucify the flesh daily.  This is no different.  Each of us have our cross to bear.  For some, that cross is abstaining and others lying , etc.  I am reminded of the rich man who could not give up his money to follow Christ.  He had many excuses.  He even kept the commandments.  However, his money was his stronghold.  The very thing that he could not give up to embrace the fullness of Christ. We are so often critical of this man.  However, many Christians are no different.  They will not give up fornicating, the touch of a man or woman outside of marriage to embrace Christ fully.  We sing that we would rather have Jesus.  A lot of Christian woman would rather have Jesus than silver and gold but not the touch of a man.  They are choosing to please themselves and a man by sinning over pleasing God.  Ouch!  That hurts.  I see this too often.  I know of very few single Christian women who are abstaining.  It's sad because they have fallen into the trick of the enemy.  Yet, they wonder why they are not content.  This sounds harsh but they too are committing the same sexual sin as the prostitute.  They are committing the physical act of sex.  However, they are also committing the spiritual act of sin as well.  Whether you are sleeping with one man or ten outside of marriage, it is still a sin.  Yet, we make it so right to ease and justify our sin.  Is that what God is saying?  Of course not.  We have fallen into the trap of Satan just like Eve by believing the twisted lie.  We need to stop justifiying this and crucify our flesh just as Christ did.  He died for our sins and His body was crucified.  People will not get better, if we do not cry loud and spare not.  Christ sacraficed, yet, us women and men cannot crucify our desires until God send our mate?  Oh ye of little faith and little commitment!

 

Rev. Gwendolyn Payton

Thankyou for this deep truth!

Thanks for your feedback.  I have been "saved" since the age of five.  I was baptized at age seven.  This issue is NOT preached enough in the baptist churches.  Yes, Christ dead for the penalty of sins.  However, He did not die for the consequences. This issue of sex is compromised.  Therefore, you have young Christians thinking that it is okay.  Then, they compromise on it.  They conform to the world's standards.  We are to be transformed.  Yet, not knowing that they have interrupted thier fellowship and power. They too become like the young of the world. They too suffer the physical consequences and the unknowingly the spiritual ones as well.  I know because I was one of them.  I don't write to be critical but to help somebody.  I grow up knowing that it was wrong.  I kept myself out of the trenchess even when my friends were engagin in sex.  However, after seeing other Christians doing so and realizing that it is not frowned upon in the church, I too fell into practicing that sin.  I began to think that premarital sex was okay. I dated the best, brightest and wealthiest ( a couple politicians and even a millionaire or two).  Let me throw in that they were very pleasing to the eyes as well.  Some of the finest brothers in the nation.  LOL.  At some point, your intellect kicks in.  You get the promises of marriage and even the ring.  You start telling yourself to use protection to control for diseases, etc.   Once the logic kicks in, you even began to forget about the spiritual piece.  You become  numb to the sin.  You may even tell yourself that I will work on the other things but this is the one that I wil keep or lose most of the battles with. Then the great lie kicks in.  I wil fornciate until he marries me then I will make it okay.  How many relationships end in marriage?  Better yet, how many marriages end (53%).  Perhaps, they did not start off holy (right) and we wonder why they failed.  Yes, Christ died for the penalty of sin.  But,  It was okay in the world, but God doesn't change.  Like the prodigal son, when I came to myself, I felt so unclean.   I looked at how I gave away something so sacred to someone who was NOT my husband.  I looked at the broken relationships and understood for the first time.  I understood that not only did I give away what was sacred but that I committed spiritual idolatry.  I chose to please a man over God.  I chose to listen to a man over God.  I chose to build what I thought was a secure relationship over God.  I did not realize that only Satan would contradict God.  I bowed to Baal to get or keep a man.  Adam chose to sin and please Eve over God.  I was Adam.  Many of us Christians who fornicate to please our mates are doing the same thing that Adam did.  We will suffer the consequences whether physical and/or spiritual just as Adam. We need to tell others that if your mate requires you to sin and violate God's law to have a relationship, then he or she is not God sent.  The Spirit does not war against the Spirit.  Satan once again has presented himself and is using trickery to make you chose him over God. 

 

How do we apply this to our lives.  If this is a stronghold , we must pray dialy.  We must not set ourselves up for temptation.  We must make it clear up front that we do not engage in premarital sex or acts that can lead to that.  Even if you must stop kissing.  I had to stop kissing  etc.  I had a friend who would not stop kissing because she liked it.  She was in the church at least three days a week.  She even spoke in tongues.  I could not presuade her to stop kissing.  I knew that If she liked it, then the adversary would move in.  I tried to persuade her that she was on Satan's turf.  She thought that she was strong.  However, after three years, she slipped back into fornication.  Unfortunately, to her surprise, the guy had a criminal record and is in jail as we speak.  However, during her one year relationship with this man, she lost her apartment.  She and her daughter are currently living in a shelter as he still resides in jail.  This man brought a lot of trouble in her life. When she first slipped, she told me to pray for her.  I did.  However, she had not had male companionship in years, so her flesh feel weak.  This man became verbally abusive and some other things as well.  She found out that he had a troubled childhood.  Satan even tricked her into thinking that it was her mission to help him.  This kept her longer in the sin.  God found mercy for her.  One day the police came to her door and arrested him for breaking in the neighbor's home.  Then she found out that he was already on probation and had an extensive history for theft.  In closing, Satan sent this man not God.  She chose to sin with this man and it had grave consequences for her life and her daughter's life.  I don't write from a self righteous perspective but for a perspective of someone who has lived this out.  My testimonies are so deep that all I can say is tt "if it had not been for the Lord on my side..."!  I am teaching my 16 yeard old daughter to wait until marriage.  To submit to our only Authority-God.  To love God first.  I am teaching her that any man who wants you to cose him over God by sinning with him, is NOT God sent.  He speaks with  the same voice of the serpent in the garden.  A man of God will honor God anfd fear God.  Therefore, he will honor you and appreciate you for honoring your God. 

 

So, let's pray our strength.  Let's teach the truth.  Let's give our brother/sisters practical measures that they can take to keep from setting themselves up for fornication.  Let's help them develop themselves to identify God versus Satan (healthy versus abusive realtionships).  Even dating experts like Chey B (AskChey B) are teaching women to value themselves and wait for marraige.  Even teen organizations like I AM Able  is teaching

youth to abstain until marriage to avoid diseases, teen pregnanacy and emotional upset.  Even the world is recognizing that it is better to wait for even practical reasons.  Why aren't we actively teaching this? Is it because, we can't lead where we won't go?  OUCH!!!!!!!

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