Single, Saved.....and Struggling!

[Chris Burke]

Hey yall,

I'm a single brother, and I'm saved. It's hard for me to date because I don't have a lot of time to dedicate myself to the dating scene; not to mention being a relationship. Among so many things, I'm a full-time student and I work full-time. Right now, I'm trying to refrain from having sex until I'm married. Besides being preoccupied, I would love to date but I don't trust myself. Listen, I know me. If I was in a relationship with someone, and things begin to get heated (stop playin...you know what I'm takin about), I'd go all the way. No first, second, or third base. I'm talkin about a home-run! It's a struggle trying to live holy especially being young and attractive. LOL! Anyway, sense I put it out there, yall do me a favor, SPEAK ON IT.

[charlie]

FIRST: UNDERSTAND STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF AS YOUNG AND ATTRACTIVE, THAT THE FLESH. SEE YOURSELF AS A STRONG MAN OF GOD IN SPIRIT
SECOND: YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE SISTERS THAT YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH FROM ANY SINS THAT COULD FLOW YOU. SEE YOURSELF ON A DATE AND HOW YOU WOULD HANDLE ANY SITUATIONS IN A GODLY WAY SO YOU WILL BE PREPARED. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRACTICE THIS IN YOUR MIND AND SPIRIT OVER AND AGAIN, SO THAT IT WOULD BECOME PART OF YOU.

[Rev. Kelvin "Besodeiah" Broadus]

It can be rough, especially if you've "partaken of the forbidden fruit" already. Yet, what you speak of, staying away from dating because you know you'd go the wrong way with it, is a good thing. Remember, Jesus said that if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off, so if dating will cause you to sin, cut it out of your life.

And like the sister said, and as further said by the Apostle Paul, if you cannot contain yourself, get married, for it is better to marry than to burn... Your focus needs to remain on the Father, on living up to His ways.

Remember one other thing though. If you have had a fight with lust, don't only flee it, but also find something positive/holy/clean to replace it with (something to turn to when the urges come upon you). In addition to praying, and casting down those thoughts that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God, try gaining some strong spiritual brothers that you can call on during times of weakness and/or temptation who will help redirect you. Get a sport or something like basketball, self-defense, swimming, etc. that you can use to also burn off the negative energy. And make sure that you control the influences that are constantly trying to place the tempting images in your mind, such as most of the music videos, and lust filled music and tv shows. Where there's a will, there's a way, and the Father will support your efforts.

Peace to you man.

[Apostle Robert L. Mitchell III]

Everything everyone has said is very good.

BUT HERES THE TRUTH!

When you have sin in your heart it will come out. Lust is a sin, no matter how much YOU refrane, you still have the desire in your heart; because if you didn't, you would not be saying the things you are saying now.

This sin will keep you out of the kingdom and you will burn in the lake like others who had the same problem.

THE SOLUTION!!!

In order to solve this problem. You have to LOVE YOUR GOD MORE THAN LIFE!!!! Then you will be on the road to recovery. You see, to love The LORD in this manner He will be the Lover of your soul. This is not replacement theory either. This is What the Lord requires of us all even if you are married. There is no amount of occupying your time, it does not give way to when a "dime piece" walks past you and your lustfull nature rises. No the only answer is to devulge yourself into the scripture. Pray for a unquenchable thirst for the word and do not cease that prayer till you receive it. Pray that you will be humbled so that you do not lose the qualities that you take in such a vain and prideful way. Pray to be submissive to the will and call of the LORD.

Until you have done these little things you cannot be given greater to be over. You see, the desire of the flesh is sin regardless. You should know this already. The bottom line is; DO YOU LOVE GOD OR LOVE SIN. The flesh is subject to the spirit. So will you be obedient to The Lord and do as commanded. It would be ashamed for you to have just gotten out of a womans bed and left to go somewhere and died!! You would definately be on your way to hell no if's, and's or (butts) about it. This is the season to be aware that Death is emminent for the Disobedient. It matters not on how long you been in service. If you are not keeping the LAW of The LORD. You will be judged in this season.

Be Blessed and Be Obedient.

[Rev. Kelvin "Besodeiah" Broadus]

"BUT HERES THE TRUTH..."

You really didn't say anything much different than I did, more words, but the same principle. I had already said that he had to focus on living for God and up to God's standard. The guy is saying that because he does love God more, he is avoiding things that he know would be sinful for him. In no way have I indicated that he could replace God being first; my words are describing finding positive habits and activities to fill the time that he would normally be using to sin, or normally be stressing with over his fight with temptation. This is in no way removing God from the first priority. Notice, the "in addition to."

So yes, what you have stated is truth. I agree 100%. It is the same principles that have been stated in each of the posts already here.

Peace.

[Scott R. Newman]

Agreed Sista Irie, but are men, especially us black men marrying? I was asked recently by some single brutha's, "Scott how could you marry someone and be faithful to just one woman?" "Why not just live together to see if it works out first since its all about a piece of paper anyway?" "Cause you know when a brutha' says I DO, its on now and the heat is on, and when there's a divorce she gets half of our sh_ _".

What say you? What do you see in these words? Most would quote scripture when dealing with a man who can't seem to keep it in his pants without being married. So if as you correctly quoted from scripture, "it is better to marry than to burn", we assume that most men are convicted by their lust and ability to be known for their sexcapades and self-gratification. How so? The world has conditioned most of us as black men to do just what our flesh desires. We have been inundated since birth by mothers as well to have a "lot of girlfriends" and not to just settle down little Johnny with just one girlfriend. Are you aware as to how many black mothers who think its cute to tell others within ear shot of their sons, "my son has a lot of girlfriends at school" tee hee tee hee....Are you aware of the many sista's who sit in front of their televisions watching soap opera's watching the likes of Erica Kane and the rest jump from bed to bed with impunity while your sons take in and absord "momma" all emotionally involved with the fornicating that goes on in "One Life to Live" and "General Hospital" and "As the World Turns" and lets not forget "Desperate Housewives", "Sex in the City" and "Girlfriends" Why should black men marry so they won't burn when momma is on her third baby daddy? Why should black men marry, when momma didn't? When daddy didn't? How does a black man even hear the truths of God's convicting words of life from the innerant Word of God that convicts us with a contrite and broken heart to "find a wife" for he read, "When a man finds a wife he findeth a good thing". How will he know its a "good thing" when the black "cherch's" makeup is 85% female and 15% men in attendance. Doesn't faith come by hearing and hearing the Word of God? We assume that black men who are DEAD in their sins will seek the things of the spirit. Not true and not biblical, those who are DEAD don't seek the things that are spiritual, that is contrary to God's Word. The spiritual things are foolish to those who are walking in the flesh. How does a black man all of a sudden wake up in his deadness to desire to be married. How does a DEAD man in his sins who won't submit to the authority of a Holy and Righteous God because he's the god of his own life choose to do the righteous and holy things on his own accord through his own imaginations of what he thinks will determine his own "goodness" barometer. If a MAN who is DEAD in his sins will not be compelled to abide in the laws, commands and precepts of a Holy and Just God. He won't call you his WIFE but his WIFEY! Can the DEAD in sin raise himself? Why would a MAN a BLACK MAN commit to just one woman when he can have many women giving him the "cookie"? Can a MAN a BLACK MAN be faithful to a girlfriend or wifey? Is there such a thing called "CHEATING"? I can't as a MAN and as a BLACK MAN be condemned for "cheating" a silly woman out of her drawls. The word "cheating" when it speaks of sex is not found in the Bible, FORNICATION is...ADULTERY is. If I'm single and have sex outside of marriage its called FORNICATION. If I have sex outside of my marriage its called, ADULTERY. Where does it say its called CHEATING whether single or married. I am not cheating on a woman when I choose to have sex with her and someone else. Were both and all of us are FORNICATING not against each other but against GOD. Why in the book of Proverbs it says, "The beginning of WISDOM is the fear of the Lord"

So I can "Cheat" on my girlfriend and I can "cheat" on my wife, she can't put me in a heaven or a hell. But will I commit Fornication and Adultery against God Himself and offend Him to His Face!

Ask any man who is not saved and doesn't fear the Lord and His wrath this question: IF YOU WERE IN CALIFORNIA AND I WAS IN FLORIDA AND BEYONCE WALKED IN THE ROOM AND APPROACHED YOU FOR SEX, WOULD YOU RESIST AND FLEE OR FALL FOR TEMPTATION? Ain't a man on earth who would turn down FREE sex from any women especially a woman who is as beautiful as Beyonce, despite his confessed love for you. The only man who could is a man who truly loves and fears God and puts Him first and loves God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. Oh, but hold up, how can he fear something he knows nothing of? How can He revere something when He doesn't know the simple Gospel of Christ? How can He believe and confess His Holy name when a preacher has not been sent and to proclaim to him as John the Baptist did when he said, "REPENT....REPENT....AND MAKE YOUR CROOKED ROADS STRAIGHT!" We are asking a lot of a man and especially a black man to be strengthened and to be faithful forever and to look the other way when so many big butts and a smile engage him to deny self with no Word in him, just because he loves you! The Word says, "I can do all things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me", it doesn't say, "I can do all things through my own strength".....Show me a fione sista' and I'll show you a man tired of having sex with her.......Just ask Halle Berry!

[Chris Burke]

LOL! Good answer....had a "Family Feud" moment.