This is going to be a very har subject for some. The basis of this conversation is based on discovery of popular preachers across the TV that call themselves women and men of God.

Jesus taught in the scriptures that when a man or woman is married, except for fornication, or death they cannot remarry as long as the spouse is still alive. Paul, along with Jesus, goes on to say that if that person remarries while the spouse is still alive, is an adultery and is in a continued state of adultery as long as they remain married. Many professed Christians, such as Randy and Paula White, we in such a condition, yet they are before people trying to tell others of the Love of Christ. This is wrong on so many levels until it is ridiculus. It violates the word of God on so many degrees until the devil is getting such a big laugh in deceiving people. How can a man or woman that has been divorced and remarried, calling themselves Christians, preach or teach others about the Love of God, when their lives do not demonstrate it? How can a man or woman preach or teach about thous shall not commit adultery when they are in an adulterous relationship after being divorced and remarried? Christ did not leave room in his word for a man to divorce his wife and remarry another while she is still alive. How can u call yourself a Christian, when u are in disobedience to God's word?

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Minister Paige, I am your brother and I speak this in love. I wouldn't put your husband's phone number on a public site. It sounds that you could benefit from pastoral care. My suggestion would be to locate a local pastor; who is versed in pastoral care, to help you work through your feelings. You will attract all kinds of negativity into your situation by airing it on this site....
just as i read in a book praise God and let him take absolute control, its easier said than done i know but its always worth trying, dont give up your miracle is a round the corner, well first of all i'd like to say its not easy i have been thorugh the same but god has helped me understand its not the end of the world i have moved on with my 2 girls but not re-married, this is a test stand firm - keep praying for your soon to be ex and ask god to help him retrace his footsteps and you equally should be willing to change not to suit his purpsoe but ask god to help you change right.
bless you, hope this helps.
Minister Hope,

What You Need Now is Courage, Self-esteem, Self-respect, A Plan, Realistic Expectations and Honesty.


What to Do Before Making Major Decisions:
Attempt to reduce the stress in your life.

Get yourself on stable ground so you can handle whatever comes your way.

Devise a survival or back up plan to give yourself more of a sense of control over your life. You may not ever have to use it, but have it anyway.

If your physical or emotional safety depends on being separated from your spouse, you must make that your priority.


Things to Consider
When going through this type of life-changing decision, recognize what you will lose and do not count on what you may receive.

Realize that you must keep yourself emotionally and physically healthy through this stressful time. You won't make rational decisions if you are depressed or sleep deprived.

Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Have you tried Christian Counseling? Can you accept that your personal unhappiness is your own responsibility

Can you communicate about anything or do you always end up in a disagreement? When you fight, do you fight fair? Do either of you bring up past hurts?

Does your spouse constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and/or criticize you? Do you have any respect for your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?

Are your goals and values different?

Has your spouse physically or emotionally abused you? Are you afraid of your spouse?

Do you believe that your love, patience and hope have just all run out?


When you have answer these questions, now pray over them for guidance Minister Hope. You should do this several times before you make any sudden decisions.


Grace and Peace,
Dr. Maxcina Gadsden
i bless the Lord for this particular discussion it is vey enlightening not that i'm not aware of what scriptue says but its adding more of the word i knew and teaching me in a new light, Dr Maxcina- i have tried christian councelling but my husband shys away and eventually cut off from all possible means of advice or councelling with friend family and even the church.but i can tell you tha the devil is in for a fright cos i'm not moved to fear the future but glad to behold it with Christ as my succuor and strong tower,as i mentioned there cannot be a test without a testimony, its been a rough road but i satnd tall and proud knowing that he provisdes all my needs accrding to his riches in glory.
and most honestly about this divorce thing i think we should abide by his word and live by it as christians, if he say he hates divorce we should call a spade a spade and not something else, much blessings to all concerned some might re-marry but as long as your spouse is still alive its adultery, as you said some of us probably just listen right to GOD , IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE SO, BUT LIKE IN THE AFRICAN CONTEXT IT S MORE THAN JUST THAT YOU HAVE BASICALLY TO cope and handle your in-laws who may pretend to like you at first and then later give you a hell of a time, and sometimes you also find out that there is mind manipulation which turns one aginst the other but eventually when the chips are down and God embarrases them its a tale of regret for the latter.
My sister, with all that is in you. FORGIVE and let God have his perfect will in the situation. It takes alot of doing on your part, truthfuly I speak too you that forgiveness will turn the tide of this battle that you are going through. God cannot work through contention and strife. Forgive everyone who has done you wrong in the situation, and GOD will most certainly, tke control of the situation, And turn it around.

The scriptures, state that he is worse than an infedel,
If your husband want go to Christian Counseling then you go by yourself. Then pray for instructions.
Forget everyone else and deal with you and get healed. If you and your husband are supposed to stay together then God will make this happen. But you must get yourself straight first. If he chooses to stay the way he is, thats on him not you.

Get yourself some help, my sister!

Grace and Peace,
Dr. Maxcina
thank you for the admonishing words, what has scripture got to say about a man leaving behind his family for no reason and does not even send any form of support to the woman and her kids, and goes off, what is the Lords stand here?
My sister, if you read Deut. 24:1-4, Moses uses this scripture to describe what should done. The concept of putting away (seperating, casting out) without the bill or divorcement was forbidden under the teaching of MOses. In other words, if your spouse leaves you or puts you out, and does not provide for the family, then he is in violation of scripture. The bill of divorcement was to guarantee that this did not happen in the case of men who were determined to leave their families. It is not in God' perfect will, but the accomodation was made nonetheless because man's heart was hard.

Pastor Scott McGregor
www.bethesdafellowship.ning.com
thank you its great to have people like you, i'm sure i will be blessed as i continue to learn each day.
blessings
You are most welcome.
Will God forgive me if I do get divorced?


Psalms 103:3

3 Who forgives [every one of] all your iniquities, Who heals [each one of] all your diseases, AMP

1 John 1:9

9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]. AMP


No sin is beyond God's forgiveness, and nothing others do against us can separate us from God's unconditional love. No matter what happens to you, let God restore you to wholeness.


What does the Bible say about divorce?


Malachi 2:14-16

14 Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].

15 And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.

16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. AMP


God sees divorce as wrong because it is the breaking of a binding commitment. One or both spouses have made a conscious decision to be unfaithful.

Matthew 19:3-9

3 And Pharisees came to Him and put Him to the test by asking, Is it lawful and right to dismiss and repudiate and divorce one's wife for any and every cause?

4 He replied, Have you never read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female,

5 And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? [Genesis 1:27; 2:24.]


6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).

7 They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife? [Deuteronomy 24:1-4.]

8 He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained].

9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. AMP


There is a wide range of interpretation concerning this passage, with wide application to specific situations. The Old Testament provided for specific rules concerning divorce and limited remarriage in special cases (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), while at the same time making it clear that divorce is not God's intention (Malachi 2:14-16). The New Testament also makes it clear that divorce is wrong (Matthew 5:31-32; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11), while allowing for limited exceptions as Jesus mentions in this passage.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4

24:1 WHEN A man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,

2 And when she departs out of his house she goes and marries another man,

3 And if the latter husband dislikes her and writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife,

4 Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance. AMP

Malachi 2:14-16

14 Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].

15 And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.

16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. AMP




Matthew 5:31-32

31 It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.

32 But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. [Deuteronomy 24:1-4.] AMP
1 Corinthians 7:10-11

10 But to the married people I give charge — not I but the Lord — that the wife is not to separate from her husband.

11 But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And [I charge] the husband [also] that he should not put away or divorce his wife. AMP


What are some ways to prevent divorce?


Ephesians 5:24-25

24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, AMP

1 Thessalonians 5:12

11 Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing. AMP


Couples who love each other with the kind of love Christ showed when he died for us, and who seek to please one another, and who encourage each other and build up one another - these are the couples who will likely remain together in a happy marriage. The format is simple, but the fulfillment takes some doing! Never let your marriage become a marriage of convenience.



How do I deal with the bitterness I feel from divorce?


Hebrews 12:15

15 Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God's grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it — AMP


If you are a victim of divorce, you may have been hurt badly, you may have been treated unjustly, you may have been humiliated. But if you allow your bitterness to fester and grow, it will overshadow all you do and render you useless for effectively serving God. You must let your bitterness go and forgive, so that God's Holy Spirit can continue to work in your life and help you start anew.

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE (7:10-24)

Paul's advice to married Christians is summed up in verse 24 after he addressed, in turn, individual Christians married to one another (vv. 10-11 ), Christians married to non-Christians (vv. 12-16), and other external physical and vocational states for Christians (vv. 17-23).

7:10-11. Paul's direction to Christians married to one another was like that of Jesus Himself (Mark 10:2-12): as a rule, no divorce (cf. Matthew 5:32). The difference in language between separate (choristhenai) on the part of the wife (1 Corinthians 7:10 ) and divorce (aphienai) on the part of the husband (v. 11) was probably due to stylistic variation as the word translated "separate" (chorizo) was commonly used in the vernacular as a term for divorce (William F. Arndt and F. Wilbur Ging-rich, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, 4 th ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1957, p. 899). When problems occurred in a Christian marriage, the resolution was to be sought in reconciliation (cf. Ephesians 4:32), not in divorce.

7:12-13. The rest referred to Christians who were married to non-Christians. Jesus, in the course of His ministry, never had addressed this issue (cf. vv. 10 1 Corinthians 7:25). But Paul, with no less authority (cf. v. 25) did. Some divorces may have been initiated because of the command of Ezra to the Israelites in Jerusalem after the Exile (Ezra 10:11) to divorce themselves from pagan spouses. Paul affirmed that the same principle should operate in a believer-unbeliever marriage as in a marriage of two Christians: as a rule, no divorce. A Christian husband must not divorce (aphieto) an unbelieving wife, and a Christian wife must not divorce (aphieto) a non-Christian husband.

7:14. Divorce was to be avoided because the Christian spouse was a channel of God's grace in the marriage. Within the "one flesh" relationship the blessing of God which came to the Christian affected the family as a whole (cf. Jacob in Laban's household [Genesis 30:27] and Joseph in Potiphar's [Genesis 39:5]; also cf. Romans 11:16). It is in this sense that the unbelieving spouse was sanctified and the children were holy.

7:15. However, there were exceptions to the rule of no divorce. If the unbeliever insisted on a divorce, he was not to be denied (the word trans, leaves is chorizetai, the verb used in v. 10 ). Should this occur, the Christian was not bound to maintain the marriage but was free to marry again (cf. v. 39). Paul did not say, as he did in verse 11, that the Christian in this case should "remain unmarried." (However, some Bible students say that not being "bound" means the Christian is not obligated to prevent the divorce, but that it does not give freedom for remarriage.)

The second part of this verse in which Paul affirmed that God had called Christians to live in peace could be understood as a separate sentence. The same conjunction (de, but) which introduced the exception at the beginning of this verse was repeated by Paul, probably to indicate another shift in thought and a return to the main point in this section, namely, the importance for the Christian spouse of preserving the marriage union and living "in peace" with the non-Christian. (For a similar digression in a discourse on the general rule of no divorce, see Matthew 19:9.) Paul's point was that a Christian should strive to preserve the union and to keep the peace, but with the understanding that marriage is a mutual not a unilateral relationship.

7:16. Paul then stated a second (cf. v. 14) and crucial reason why a Christian should stay married to a non-Christian. God might use the Christian mate as a channel of blessing (cf. v. 14), leading ultimately to the point where the unbelieving spouse would believe the message of the Cross and experience salvation (cf. 1 Peter 3:1-2).

7:17. The general principle which Paul affirmed in dealing with decisions affecting a Christian's marital status was again stated three times (vv. 17,20,24; cf. also v. 26): in brief, "stay put." The call to conversion radically altered an individual's spiritual relationship but need effect no changes at all in physical relationships that were not immoral.

Grace and Peace,
Dr. Maxcina Gadsden
Awesome! THIS is the type of support needed on this and other topics. God has and will continue to bless you for your heart for HIS people.

Pastor Scott McGregor
www.bethesdafellowship.ning.com

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