I recently started dating a Pastor. He is single never been married and looking for his wife. He feels that God made me for him but I'm not sure if I feel the same. Everything is happening so fast that I'm now being questioned by his congregation about our relationship and if I'm ready to be their First Lady (but we aren't engaged and haven't told anyone that we are dating). Everyone seems so excited about possibilities and I'm sitting back confused because I don't see it or I don't want to see it because of the chaos in my life. He is a great man; however, I know great responsibilities come with being a PW and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I've expressed that I needed him to slow down and relax but it doesn't seem to be happening and the more I push away the closer we become. We spend most of our time together and balance our time with getting to know one another and rightly dividing the word of Truth. Everyone seems to see what I don't, my family, his family, his church, him and I'm like "oh no, not me." He isn't my ideal physically attractive man but I'm attracted to his annointing. My questions are: Does God give a sign to the woman as well as the man? What do I do if I decide I don't want to be with him? (do I leave his church? well, I'm not a member but I enjoy his teaching) I would just like some feedback. I've never been in this place and it's scary yet I'm walking in it.

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This sounds like a DANGEROUS situation. Ultimately, you need to make a decision based on YOUR wants, YOUR needs, and what will make YOU happy. Don't kick yourself later if you feel like you can't live without him. But there has to be more that you're attracted to besides his ministry. I'm not a woman but I do know that a woman's intuition is a valuable resource and often your first instinct or feeling is the one that is correct.

If you were simply getting cold feet and were growing more apprehensive then I would say maybe its because of how fast its going and all the other people cheering you on from the sidelines. But if you weren't feeling it from the beginning then those influential forces should not be pushing you where you aren't feeling. And even though he said he feels that G-d made you for him.... he's a man..... and he's just expressing his FEELINGS. He doesn't have any greater insight into this than you do and if he was right then perhaps you'd both know it. Seems like he's simply more attracted to you than you are to him. And if you get yourself stuck into the wife position you are going to have 100 times more pressure to stay there even though you're not happy.

There have been tons of pastors who have gotten divorced and remarried. This could be exactly how those marriages started. And its better to let people down sooner rather than be a greater disappointment later. If you just aren't feeling it then you aren't feeling it. You can't have a romantic relationship with his anointing. LOTS of women are attractive to preachers in this same way. They're drawn to the leadership and priestly role the pastor has and they want a righteous figure of a man in their life to have a family with. That's understandable. But that isn't necessarily the type of love that will sustain a marriage. And I guarantee after you're married his flaws will show up more and more and instead of seeing the "G-d in him" you will start to see more and more of "just him". And once all the newness and everything wears off what will you be left with? I think you both probably need someone else. He needs someone who is going to love and appreciate him more (not saying you don't at all) much more than his ministry. And you need someone who is more your type AND who loves G-d and has that righteous image and character. That would be my advice, such as it is.

Thank you for your response. I do understand where you are coming from but isn't it better to marry for character than for emotion? Emotions change often as with Character doesn't. It's something that I can't quite put my finger on that keeps me around and it's great to have a relationship with someone that is saved and not trying to have an unsaved relationship with me. It's refreshing for a man to see me for who I am and not what's between my legs. It's a great opportunity to really develop a healthy relationship on a foundation of friendship first. My biggest problem is myself, when the Holy Spirit is guiding me and I have no control, I freak out. I'm praying that I receive what God has for me but I have to be obedient and know that God is God. I refuse to allow other people to make my decisions for me, so what they say doesn't matter. I was just wondering if I was allowing myself to be spiritually blind because I'm afraid of change and what being a PW entails..
What do you specifically like about him? What do you not like? The main thing is figuring out if a ROMANTIC relationship is possible so that you don't hurt this man later. All women want a good man but it doesn't always work out that way. There is more involved. My fear is that he is your friend and you respect him on many levels but in the end he may not become more than your friend. I don't put too much on emotion but life is about balance. You need some emotional involvement enough that you can build on that. There's no real remedy to a lack of chemistry and he will be deceived if you cannot naturally return his affections.


Let me ask u a question?What is in dis life dat does not change.

Is only change that is constant my dear.

Zealot x-As Bad As I hate to give you credit for a response, your answer was very good. I like your response for it brought the facts and reality of life out. well done my brother
I do appreciate that Pastor. Hope you are doing well.


Another question I want to ask you is this. What is the chaos in your life?

I have you made it known to him?


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