I recently started dating a Pastor. He is single never been married and looking for his wife. He feels that God made me for him but I'm not sure if I feel the same. Everything is happening so fast that I'm now being questioned by his congregation about our relationship and if I'm ready to be their First Lady (but we aren't engaged and haven't told anyone that we are dating). Everyone seems so excited about possibilities and I'm sitting back confused because I don't see it or I don't want to see it because of the chaos in my life. He is a great man; however, I know great responsibilities come with being a PW and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I've expressed that I needed him to slow down and relax but it doesn't seem to be happening and the more I push away the closer we become. We spend most of our time together and balance our time with getting to know one another and rightly dividing the word of Truth. Everyone seems to see what I don't, my family, his family, his church, him and I'm like "oh no, not me." He isn't my ideal physically attractive man but I'm attracted to his annointing. My questions are: Does God give a sign to the woman as well as the man? What do I do if I decide I don't want to be with him? (do I leave his church? well, I'm not a member but I enjoy his teaching) I would just like some feedback. I've never been in this place and it's scary yet I'm walking in it.
I Agree on God is not the confusion...that alone says it all without a book being written concerning this matter...as far as the post should have never been... that is a concern between you and God on how he may lead you,
If you are this confused about the matter, then step back and do not be the foolish female that dives right in with one of those "GOD said don't be afraid" words from a friend who all of a sudden became Prophetic. To enter into such without GOD's clear cut ok is to risk damaging Ministries and lives, starting with yours.
Step back and focus only on your Ministry for GOD. There you will find the answer while worshipping Him in service.
You are in an advantageous situation. The situation is that you have the final say so as to who, when and where you will marry. You should schedule a time, to have a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend; and be up front and honest about your feelings towards him and yalls relationship and he needs to do the same. If marriage is his aim, and he's targeted you and you aren't feeling him that way you need to tell him. Your life will be a living hell, if you marry him under pressure from everyone that thinks you should be married. There should be the physical chemistry, in which you say you don't have for him, as for the spiritual if he is gun ho to marry you and you haven't reciprocated that feeling; it is an indication that there may be a need for spiritual maturing also on his part. After a heart to heart talk, it just may be that the two of you, need to consider dating other people, so as not to create an illusion that you the two of you are in deeper, than you want to be. It's possible that if he's ready for marriage and you are not; dating between the two of you should end; that he may pursue someone, who is ready to jump the broom. If marriage is right for the both of you, God will settle it in both of you all's spirit; if you are unsettled in your spirit about marrying any man; consider that God may be trying to tell you something; maybe he's not the man for you or you're not the woman for him; or maybe you both need some work in areas that God is trying to accomplish before you jump the broom. In my premarital counselling sessions; I tell my counsellees that, the sessions are designed to make them question if they want to get married; and if they can't get through eight sessions with me and still have that burning desire to marry eachother, it just might be they need to do some serious work within themselves and eachother before they jump the broom. I advise them that it's better for all concerned that if they got to divorce, it's best it happens in my office under controlled circumstances, as opposed to after they get legally married and involve the lives of other people, and children only to end up spending hundreds or thousands of dollars to get a divorce. Hope this response gives you some strength, don't be lead down the aisle of matrimony like a sheep being lead to slaughter; you do have a voice, a brain and a spirit; who what God is saying to you, and conduct yourself accordingly. Any marriage should be first sanctioned by God, as well as the man and woman involved; if anyone in the trio disagrees that marriage is the answer...... "Don't get married!"
Shalom aleichem(Peace be unto you) Wendell L. Jackson, M.Div. 407-731-6676 or firstname.lastname@example.org
I am humbled that my words gave someone solace and comfort. When I responded to the young lady, I didn't really think my response would have been read by her; but God guided me to write the response. What happened in your situation will and has made you stronger and better prepared for the road ahead. Ford's motto for their vehicles is "Built for the road ahead!" Every situation we encounter in our lives, is allowed by God that we maybe better prepared....... just remember My Sister you have been "Built for the road ahead!"
Child of the most high and true living God, There is alot that can be said and done on this matter. Most of all after reading what you wrote reminds me of myself when my wife and I was dating. I became an Associate Pastor at a new church. This church have a reasonable amount of members. They liked her, treated her with greatness, and most of all included her in everything. We was dating for sometime and I started asking her about marriage. When she felt unsure I started pressing harder with more presistance. This is where you friend and I are different. I pressed harder in prayer and I was coninced I couldn't change nor alter her mind, but the Lord I serve have all power. At that time I suggested to her for us to consult the Lord together, but bening seperated. Later, we got married an now we have a beautiful daughter. We have to align ourselves with God's will and not what Pastor want, not what we may want, not what father and mother want, not what family and church family want, nor what friends and church friends want, but what God want for us. What God have for you is for you. If you do't get it knowjust in the matter of time God will still have it for you. If you don't see it for yourself right now then that means it not for you right now. Just be patient and you ram will be in the bush. Meaning you will see your blessing. AMEN
my suggestion is ,pray about the situation and i know god will answer,another thing is if he is your husband it will be a two way communication.And yes God does speak to the man first but remember we are the responders you have to want the same thing and you have to be sure this is the will of God for your life ,I have alot of friends that are PW ,And it has its scarafice but if God is putting you both together you can get through with christ .So be open to what ever god wants to do .And maythe lord give you wisdom in this matter Blessings!!!!!
Greetings in the name of Jesus, When I married my husband over 20 years ago I was afraid to take that leap of faith, being a pastors wife sounded scarey, I loved the word of God that came from his teachings, and he tought me so much about church that was surface for other people , but depth for me. My love for him, his call and my part that I played grew on a daily basis. I matured thru the years and appreciate God's choice for me. His family did not see it at first, but soon after that , they saw that we were an unstopable team. He has gone on to be with the Lord. I still wish we would have had time to continue in our travels all over the country and abroad. cherish the time you spend with your man of God, fulfill God's purpose and the heart of God concerning this wonderful vessel God's choice is always the right choice. The time you have don't waste it, leap into your destiny trust God. I miss my husband/Pastor so much, his smile , his teaching me more of the Word of God, everything. Consider Time, Your Age, your destiny, Ask God to help you in your faith concerning this precious relationship.
My sister I encourage you to pray about this relationship if that is what this maybe between the two of you. Know matter how excited someone else may be for the two of you. You have to know for yourself that God, is joining the two of you together. This can't be a one sided relationship. And yes great responsibilities comes with being a pastor's wife, everyone can't fill those shoes. It take a strong virtuous, prayerful and anointed women of God to support the man of God in the ministry. And if you feel that you are not spiritually condition to be that woman. By no mean don't step into that position. Excepting him as a mate has nothing to do with physical attraction. But has to do with the God, that he serve and the anointing on his life. So think on these things my sister and be encouraged in the name of Jesus. Blessings to you!
As I went back and observed this post I realized that it was posted December of 09. I pray all is well with this couple. We know that in Romans 8:28 All things work togther for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. I hope that they found purpose in the call of God according to what his plan for them may have been. I wish them the best in all things according to the will of God concerning the both ot them. Blessings....