Colossians 3:18 (King James Version)

18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord


There has been wives that has been giving bad advice about staying in a abusive relationship with there spouses which cost them their lives not only there lives the children lives also. Scriptures have has been taken out of context concerning submission when it pertaining to verbal, mental, and physical Abuse.

quote"I wear the pants in the house you have to do what I say" mentality has been overated

instead of being the Godly husband with Love according to Ephesians 5:28-33

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:


Some husband has become a hard task master like a white master to a black slave(no offense intended)

To me that is not God's divine way for a husband or wife to live.

What is really submission?

How far should a Women Submit to her husband?

Should a Women stay in the abusive relationship until God move?


What are yall thoughts on this Matter

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Hi Broken to be made whole, thanks for your reply. Yes, Scripture does make the statement, 'but even if she does depart let her remain unmarried' (1 Cor. 7:11 NKJV). It goes on to say, 'OR' be reconciled. Now, there's a lot wrapped up in the word 'or.' She's left him, and the Scripture is acknowledging it. She's now 'un-married' or 'divorced', is, that which Scripture proclaims.

Elsewhere, as quoted in the former post Yahshua says that, our Heavenly Father allowed divorce not for 'adultery only,' rather, because of the
hardness' or 'destitution of spiritual perception' i.e. 'hardheartedness' of men, . This is the Greek root word definition for 'hardness'. (Mk. 10:5).

As so, we see that God so loved women and was aware of the evil men were doing against women. Again, Malachi 2:15 says, 'treachery' or as the Hebrew definition for "treacherously" is defined "the deceitful, offensive, pillaging and unfaithfulness" against women, that the Almighty went against His own blessed nature and implemented divorce. Divorce then, is a gift from our Heavenly Father to women. Make no mistake about it.

Anyway, this is proof that Scripture does allow leaving a marriage for matters other than adultery. Adultery was just a matter that Yahshua spoke upon. However, as we can now see from words elsewhere spoken concerning God's will for women, God knows that women have to leave marriages because of 'abuse or deceit.' That male in such a fallen state is an out and out devil, unbeliever. Women and men must always obey, God first! Scripture says, 'Christ is the head of the church' and the church is comprised of men and women.

Let God be true, and all men who speak otherwise, a liar and deceiver of whom the 'truth' does not abide in.
Hi again, Broken to be made whole, I will check out your blog. As for your question on 'mental and verbal' abuse, yes, according to Scripture that is why God the Father intervened and created divorce. As I said in the former post, Malachi 2:14 NKJVstates, "Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously."

Again, the Hebrew definition for the word 'treacherously' is "deceitful, offensive, pillage."
To pillage, or 'wreak havoc, offensively damage' and ofcourse, we know that since the Father wasn't speaking on adultery, He had to mean, psychological, emotional, financial, mentally, and undoubtedly, physically."

Oh, one more thing, Malachi 2:16 says, with regard to 'divorce,' "he covers himself with violence" well, who do you think God means that violence is directed at? The 'wife' i.e. 'women', ergo, God knows about domestic violence and is against it, and would of necessity have women leave.

As for adultery itself, throughout the Torah, or Old Testament the Heavenly Father constantly rails at what He calls 'adulteress Judah and Israel.' He talks of it in terms of 'spiritual adultery' which violates the soul and corrupts (Jer. 13:27). If Almighty God, sees adultery as a 'spiritual violation' how much more should women know that God sees abuse as the same 'spiritual rape' of the woman's soul and function. Ergo, leave, stay 'unmarried' as Scripture says, get heal, pray for him to get heal, and walk in Christ. Now, if the Heavenly Father does heal him and the woman wants to go back, that's fine. Let us pray that men are healed of this sick abusive disposition.
My sister, my prayers are with you! the question of verbal abuse was directed to the brothers and I will let them answer it for you.

God's Grace is still with you for you state you "believe that God still can move in your marriage" this will take you both allowing God to do that... there is nothing to hard for HIM.

Your marriage consists of you, your husband and God, no one else will ever understand they whys and whens of it. I went through an abusive marriage, my one joy today is that my leaving forced a loved one to look to God, it took him losing everything! I glance back now in Christ understanding that his soul was more important than our marriage.

God has blessed me, and HE will bless you, let HIM order your steps
Quote I also have a question for you sister. Because this is the first time he has hit me, I wonder if it is the worlds view that once abusive always abusive or is it true for believers as well? I believe that when a man is honest about the problem he can receive deliverance. And if he does not think that he needs deliverance then he can't be led by the spirit of God. Please share. and thank you again.

Prasie the Lord Sis,

First I want to thank you for sharing with us, because there are many in church are going through a rough time in their life, I and do pray that Peace, Healing and deliverance will come into your life..

To answer your question, the world do see once a abuser always abuser and yes there are some beleivers that do beleive the same thing........BUT what about God??? we see in the scriptures on how he comand the husband to love his wife....but what about a person that is unsaved??? and don't know what God command then that will be a tough situation to conquer if there isn't a strong friend of the abuser to step in and talk to them..

The abuser must reconized there is a problem within themselves, and immedially go and seek help...this is a person with a honest heart... trying to find out what is the root of the problem. When they seek deliverance...Deliverance will Come... There are some cases in the Church that it happen...once they got the help, the hitting stop, verbal abuse stop, the mental abuse stop...etc.e.tc..

But there are some cases nothing happen because the pride have grip the heart...", or this is my wife mentallity I can do what I want to her"...... "she will submit to me or else".., "she can't leave me i'm the only one she has"..."you can't tell me how to handle my wife"... Unless God Come in and really work on him...there is no help... when no one wants to stop...... now that is a dangerous situation... and you just can't stay fully submissive to a husband like that...


That's why it's so important that Church leaders really use wisdom and knowledge to examine each situation......
You said something right there... what if the a church leader is doing the abusing, should he not be sat down"

When i was growing up ..The old school way........ there has been times where leaders had to sat down for 6 month to get themselves together because they were examples before the people.....

BUT NOW..

.some think that if they are in high rank.. that they can do what they want to do ...don't say nothing to me ...mind frame.. God place me here.. and he is the only can sit me down..... wait there is standard that must be held... God doesn't wink at wrong doing.... and just pat your on your back.. and say Go on the way you are......

I know that we are human and flesh intends to cut up when we are not putting time in of truly fasting, praying, seeking God... what steps are you going to take now after your flesh cut up.. and how are you going to deal with it so it won't rise up again....
I beleive there is a biblical way of handling this.... let look at one example..there are many more.....but .this one that came to my mind.....

God told Moses to speak to the rock...but he struck it.. and he wasn't able to enter into the Promise land (hard headed) disobeying.....


Someone may elobarate further on this one.. or more insight


will continue
My Sister, I agree with Evangelist Kyles, God is able, however your spouse has to allow God to work in his life, and you as well.

There is a root problem to why he resorted to hitting you, it has to be pulled up are he will do it again.
No one knows him better than you and God, pray! see the difference, or not see it, No one will have to tell you when to leave, be obedient to God, if oppression comes and change doesn't, God will make an escape for you, take it.

Start praying for his deliverance (Psalm 50:15), ask God to bring him to a place of understanding where he can recognize the work of evil and cry out to God.

Pray as well for yourself, many times women are delivered to fall back into the same bondage with someone else, not recognizing the hole they just came out of.
Should a woman stick around if a man raises his hands to her? I have a two part answer, so bare with me:

No, she should consider leaving ASAP, because he abuses her, thus violating his responsibility as a husband. A husband is to love her as Christ loves HIS wife, the Church. That is apart of the marriage covenant that GOD has installed. If he strikes her, then he's breaking his end of the contract. Plus, he is a total danger to her safety. Who knows if the next strike to the head will be a lethal one.

On the other hand, I would say it all depends. On the RAREST of occasions, you can stay, because there are reasons for this. Its not always a case of "senseless violence". Maybe she is provoking him to anger (Bynum status); maybe he needs counseling and/or a true salvation encounter. There have been accounts of a dramatic change after such things. Grace can actually be applied to any situation. If it can be given for a murderer, then why not an abusive man? You just have to use wisdom, and take heed to the people in your life's wise instructions.

In ALL thy getting, get UNDERSTANDING.
Hi again Trevor, because of this cheap machine I"m on, I couldn't edit my post in time to assure you that I know you are a wise man and didn't mean 'violence was acceptable' that's why I questioned the phrasing, 'except in the case of Bynum.' I have subsequently read your follow up replies of those who misunderstood your phrasing. From your follow up replies I see that that is what the matter is about. Again, that statement comes across in a way that you obviously didn't mean it.

Since you have clarified it in subsequent replies I don't see why there is antagonism against you. I would think the women would be in an uproar with the 'Z' poster who claims its' 'okay to spank a woman' and not with you, a Man of God who clarified your position with regard to this matter. Again, that one statement on 'bynum' was what people were reacting to. And again, your follow up replies clarified it.

As for 'posse' I'm with you, what 'posse?' The ones that came against us on the 'Women are ordained by God to preach the gospel?' LOL Posse, that's real funny. :-)
Hey Trevor, partly great answer but what of the 'Bynum status' statement. According to the police reports Juanita was the one severely beaten to a pulp by that husband of hers' demanding that she take the 'offerings' and use them for 'his glory' so to speak, perhaps, a new car, bigger house, and all that. Whereas, Mrs. Bynum wanted the funds to go to God's work as she promised the people who she collected the money from that she would.

At any rate, whatever the case, she did not deserve to be beaten to a pulp, so causing humiliation before the world especially after she boasted on the goodness of marriage and literally, had the marriage on television. He ought to be ashamed of himself. Not her, HIM.

There is no excuse for violence against a woman, PERIOD! If she is violent a man is strong enough to make her stop, without hitting her, and then immediately leave the violent area or make her leave her for good.

Scripture says with regard to 'divorce' that God who hates divorce, went against His own nature and created it to assist women who men were abusing or dealing treacherously with' (Mal. 2:14-16). Domestic violence is a part of that treachery and should never be utilized.
Servant:

"That is the classic answer for abusers. I have posted the signs of an abuser below. As the post states...not all apply to everyone, but most experts agree that this is one statement that ALL abusers use!"
You stated this as if it were the only reason I placed up there, or as if I used it to say that beating a woman is justified. That is far from the case! I personally am against any type of abuse, from either male or female (a subject seldom mentioned). However, I believe in getting to the root of the matter. A fool would just say "he's sick in the head/heart/spirit" but not seek to diagnose the issue and bring aide. No, the smart thing to do for them is just "jail him" and leave. It sounds great, but its actually INCOMPLETE. Jail may be one of the answers for that particular situation, however even in jail, the world system seeks to find out the source of your criminal actions. Why has the church fallen from this wisdom? I said "in all thy getting, get understanding", and yet it was overlooked.

Ms. Loving:

"Oh to you TREVOR especially … I don’t care what the situation is YOU DON’T HAVE NO RIGHTS TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON ANYONE I DON’T CARE HOW ANGRY OR HOW MUCH YOU ARE PUSHED." Once again, I have seen a person move off of emotion when they speak. That message was not especially to me, because that does not pertain to me. I can say that because I'm not the type of a man that places his hands on his lady. I believe in building up, not bringing down. If you would simply observe with wise eyes, then you would understand all that I stated. If you asked me with a wise question, then you would understand where I personally stand on the issue of abuse.
Ms. Loving:
I could have easily come out and said some things to and about you, however, I will not let Satan get a foothold here. I'm better than that (Jude 9-11). I will simply come and discuss the comment you made and the scriptures you placed:

-Not one contradiction can be found within my comments because there isn't one in my character. I am one to builds up women, or else I wouldn't have spent hours upon hours defending woman's right to preach, teach, and even hold leadership positions not only in this website, but others as well and even from pulpits. I am one who supports women, otherwise I wouldn't have females holding the top positions within the ministry we are all building together. You can never truthfully say that I broke down a woman.

-You said : "As far as my wisdom is concerned... try to get where my eyes are... in other words.. where you going or think you are going I have been ...", well I doubt that ma'am. I HIGHLY doubt that! You haven't walked a mile in my shoes, and you won't take a step in them either. I'm no better than the next man, but what I'm saying is just plain true.

-You said: "maybe when you mature more mentally you too will be wise.. and use wisdom accordingly and not believe that, and I quote, "ON the RAREST occasions" it is alright to hit or put your hands on another human being." A true devil will only use part of a person's statement to use it against them! Did I justify a man striking a woman? No, not at all. My statement was to answer the question of "should a woman leave", as it is CLEARLY stated in my comment. If we leave it all up to you, Ms. Loving, you would fix and twist my words in any way shape or form possible!

-You said: "I'm not into the bickering tactics you and possie are use to or that you all do .. nor am I a toy .. the only children I play with are my grandchildren." I never considered you a toy, however I do consider you an infant faith-wise, and as far as "bickering tactics", history has proven that to be false, because I met you complaining about men. And whose "possie"?

-You said: "So if you don't have anything productive, knowledgeable, intellectual, or anything dealing with truth in reference to Yahweh or Yashua... than you need to STEP brother... again .. I'm not your toy..." I always bring something worth while to the table, whether or not a person values it is on them. Also, we cannot call each other brother and sister. You claim the name of JESUS, but I have yet to eat or even see a fruit hanging from your tree limbs.

-You said: "Now with that .. have a good day." I'll always have a good day, ma'am. Sorry if I cannot say the same to you, but 2nd John 9-11 forbids me to do so.

-You Quoted: Job 12:12-"Wisdom is with aged men,And with length of days, understanding."; Job 32:7-"I said, ‘Age should speak,And multitude of years should teach wisdom.’

Once again, a true devil will only quote part of a statement to use it against someone! Try quoting the rest of Chapter 32, please, particularly verses 8 and 9: "But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgment."

Age is not always a major factor that guarantees wisdom, oh dearest Grandmother, it just says you had plenty of time to make plenty of mistakes.

-You quoted: Job 28:28-Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, And to depart from evil is understanding.’” So true, so true, which is why I placed my original comment.

-You quoted: Job 33:33-"If not, listen to me;Hold your peace, and I will teach you wisdom." You taught me some great lessons. One was that vipers can type!

-You said: "Learn to view the entire statement you are replying too. my comment was based on what your comment indicated TREVOR". I know what you stated, and I read it all. Learn to actually quote a man instead of trying to take part of a statement to frame him for a crime he didn't/wouldn't commit.

EXAMPLE: "and use wisdom accordingly and not believe that, and I quote, "ON the RAREST occasions" it is alright to hit or put your hands on another human being."

My TRUE statement was this: "Should a woman stick around if a man raises his hands to her? I have a two part answer, so bare with me:......I would say it all depends. On the RAREST of occasions, you can stay, because there are reasons for this. Its not always a case of "senseless violence". Maybe she is provoking him to anger (Bynum status); maybe he needs counseling and/or a true salvation encounter. There have been accounts of a dramatic change after such things. Grace can actually be applied to any situation. If it can be given for a murderer, then why not an abusive man? You just have to use wisdom, and take heed to the people in your life's wise instructions."

I do not want to continue with pointless bickering with you AGAIN, because its all shameful.

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