I've been seeking God regarding marriage and he has been working on me for years. One of my main goals before marriage is to have premarital counseling. I've mentioned it to a christian male friend that says there is no need for it if you are being led by God! I've asked my fiance' to let's have premarital counseling and he said there is no need for all of that if we love each other. I believe this is another way that I am being tested regarding learning to submit in my fiance's case (smile). But I strongly believe that there are issues that may arise that We (my fiance' and I) need to have addressed (especially on my part). My reason for saying that is I'm a single mom who raised 5 kids without a father. Never received child support and God always saw us thru. When I was seeking God for a husband when they were young he told me that he wanted me to know that he was my source in every area. I've been abused physically, sexually, and mentally. I have an independent mentality and am used to doing things my own way. I do not want to go into a marriage with all of this me, me, me,....... What should I do to convince my fiance' that premarital counseling is the best thing that we can do before even planning the wedding?

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Good Evening,

Sis. Agnes have you talked to your fiance about how you feel? Did you asked him why he does not want to have premarital counseling before he marry you, besides "we are in love" answer? The Pastor of my church will not marry anyone without counseling. How do your Pastor's feel about that? I also feel if you are thinking about marrying this person, then you need to check yourself to see if you are ready. You did bring up an important point. You said 'ME", and that truly is a good point. Ask yourself some questions. Are you yourself really ready for marriage? And the issues that you feel that may arrive, why can't you just ask him, about his thoughts on those things that are really bothering you.

Well I hope I helped some.

I did talk to him and he said we will just pray about everything that arises. My Pastor just as myself believe in premarital counseling. I have and still am checking myself, I am ready for marriage and willing to follow God's lead and preparation stages. The reason I mentioned ME is because I don't want to be selfish and I constantly confront myself and my actions on a minute by minute basis. I want to do what is right and pleasing in the sight of the Lord. The reason I have not asked his thoughts is because instead of reacting to what he said I just shut down and said nothing else on the subject and thats because God is shaping me when it comes to being slow to speak and swift and making sure I speak life and not death so I choose my words carefully with God's help.
Hello Sis. Agnes,

How are you today? That is good what you are doing, just continue to seek God and HE will direct your path. God Bless

Thank you for your insight. What do you mean when you say stick with my heart? Do you mean the idea that I want spiritual counseling or do you mean don't push the issue. I strive to get an understanding in all things...(smile)
Yes it did Clarify some things for me. Thank you for sharing because Sharing is Caring! I trust Jesus!
Thank you, I agree and thats why its so important to me. The HIV test will come with confirmation of the marriage.....
Definitly seel counseling! It wont hurt it will actually help a whole lot because while yes we seek God on wether or not we should marry a person, but truth be told we dont really know what we are getting into (and I'm really speaking about myself). And especially if its Godly counsel it will only enhance the marriage experience because it gives you things to look out for in advance. Also you may get into the counseling and find that maybe your fiance' aint who you thought he was (praying thats not the case), because I've experienced in my short time being married and talking to people seeking to get married is that those who refused the counseling in the beginning, refused to get it when the marriage hit a bump and ended up walking out on the promise to spouse and God. My advice to get him to go would be very straight forward and honest, its something you believe in and if he continues to not want to go that should send up alerts and you should think twice about saying "I do".

Side Bar- My pastor always makes this statement that before he performs a marriage for anyone they must go through conseling with him. That's how serious it is to him.
Thank you so much. My pastor requires counseling just as myself. I'm going to talk with my fiance' again once God leads me to do so, I've been praying and I trust God to bring the change if this marriage is of HIS will!
Brother Busby,

I don't mean to get in your business[but you did put it out there], you were really married 3 times? Were you saved, when you were married? What advise do you have now for the ones that are thinking about getting married. What can you share with them?

Good evening,

Thank you brother Busby for answering my questions. I truly appreciate it, and you stay bless and have a bless week.

This must be for one of the people who responded to my discussion Bridgette because I've never been married but I do have 5 kids out of wedlock, one deceased and the others in their 20's my baby age 15 and my grandson from my deceased daughter is at home also.
Yes he is saved and since I started this discussion (without his knowledge) I asked again if we can have premarital counseling and he said of course. I will say this, I know that he (my fiance') is a good man but I know that I'm still dealing with my own personal issue trying and praying that they don't boil over into my relationship. We have made a date to sit down and talk on valentines day. I don't want my fiance' to change because I don't want him to lose what caused me to fall in love with him in the first place. When I was on my way to work this morning I was talking to God and asking him to allow his will to be done in my life even if its not what I want because I know God's will is what is best for me......I know it may not feel good to me but its the best for me.


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