I Needd some input on true forgiveness to help my wife. i know what the bible says but my wife finds it hard to except Jesus teachings. don't get me wrong she loves God and is faithful to him. However when folk do things to her she has this vibe thats not joy filled and its due to the fact she has not really forgave. here is the issue that happen. a fellow church member got upset because her granddaughter had her nose busted by one of the young boys in the church. witnesses say the kids were playing outside the church and you know how that goes. anyway it was mentioned that my son may have done it but that was found not to be true. however in the mist of the confussion this fellow church member in defense of their grandchild started talking un christian like. she told her grandson next time someone hurts your sister kill em dead ect.. then she began cursing out side the church in front of our Pastor. finally she swore at my wife. my pastor was very upset at this. we didnt expect to see her for a while but she showed up i church sunday like nothing happened. i realized she has deep issues and needs Gods deliverance i ask God to forgive her and i forgave her for talking bad to my wife. my wife however keeps bringing up the fact that its seems the lady does not like her, she looks at her funny. and it seems she hasn't been put in check. so my wife says the next time the lady says something she will leave the church. now i'm a minister there also the pastor right hand . i know thats not tru forgiveness. she should not dwell on what that lady did. what advice do you have for my wife or do you agree with her?

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thank you for your reply i really appreciate it. couple things i wanted to share my pastor did confront her on the spot. he told her it was wrong and he was very upset. i think my wife wanted him to like sit her down from service in the church. and you know if i were the pastor i may have done this or i may have given her one last chance since this the first time she has been unruly in the two years i've been a member. as far as being validated. answear me this.1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;1 Corinthians 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
this text here tell me that true love goes thru suffering( like Christ did for us) seeketh not her own.( validation would be seeking your own self gratitude that good that woman got put in her place. right?) endureth all things( so this one incedent even if repeated should not make you want to leave a church. i belive you leave if the word is not helping you or the church is not growing. this woman was emotional because her grandchild nose was bleeding. people react like that sometimes. i remember one time with the church basketball team a player cursed me out. so bad my wife could hear him thru the phone of course she was heated. the player came back to church one time set in a office with me and didnt speak. months later he returned and when the alter call was given he came down on he's knees crying. i was the one who had to minister two him. he never to this day apologized to me but i know he wants forgivenss because as i held him in my arrms he cried like a baby. this guy 6'5 and from the streets. so i try to lead by example my actions was true love. i did talk about the guy to others but only as a example. because i would tell them that i forgave him even thuough he didnt ask for it. and i showed it by pryaying for him and embracing him at the alter. i could have easily tiold somebody else you pray for him. i just want my wife to understand love never fails.
thank you again i appreciate tremendously. well i agree with what your saying, i know my wife is sensitive and she is aggressive while i'm passive. i remember she couldn't believe i invited a guy to my first sermon who one day when i was on my way to church sucker punched me in the nose over a silly dispute. i could have had him killed that same day it happened. but i though about his kids and wife. and i realized the devil was influenceing my friends actions plus he wasnt saved. funny thing he eventually beg for my forgiveness and were still friends now. but his life is upside down. lost his wife and kids and his job and his own wife accused him of rape. crazy isnt it. so yes your right i can withstand a lot. im trying to help her get there. anyway the thing i wanted to tell you was this past sunday she went up and apologized to thw woman even though my wife did nothing to her. but that is what i teach her to do. the woman ignored her but i wasnt surprised. i told my my she planted a seed and now God will water it. my wife thru action shoed love. know im concerned the the woman because itobvious she has malice in her heart we both know this is not good for her own salvation. so please pray for her as i will. but im very proud of my wife i know that was hard for her. and in her mind it didnt work. but really it did God will bless my wife for that. well thats about it. nice talking with you i'll be keeping you in my prayers.
Minister Hines, the first thing that needs to be addressed is that we battle not against flesh and blood but against principalities! So we should not get mad at the person, but the principality controlling them! Don't say it, I know tough task! But we should not be surprised when the devil does his job! He should be surprised when do ours. The enemy counts on us not making the mark. Forgiveness is JUST as if it never happened. What I mean by that is we walk in the same love that we have if it had never happened. We can do this if we really get to point where we remember that we are our brother's or sister's keeper. If they are being controlled by enemy, then it is our love that will win them back to Christ and keep us in right position. Forgiveness is hard only when we don't seek that all be in fellowship with Christ. Do we want equity or Christianity?
yes i agree with you my brother. i never put it like you did but with the same meaning . however i think the way you put is more clear . my wife may not have struggled with this as much if i'd put it that way. funny thing she always saying we fight not against flesh and blood ect..
It's easy to forget because we all really do love ourselves and sometimes we forget to love others with the same emphasis that we love ourselves.


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