Dear sir, Greeting and salutations in the name of our lord and savior Jesus the Christ.
I came across a article you wrote and its following correspondence on deliberate sin. I thought I should write since I myself have suffered from this same type of presumption with some rather extraordinary results. At present I have suffered from Two demonic attacks and am presently dealing with a third. Let me explain; I received Jesus Christ as lord and savior in 1979 at age 15 and was committed to the faith. confirmed with a certain gift to see things on people. The Holy Spirit Showed me cancer on a friend of mine which at the time I thought was a demon because she appeared to look like death. 10 years later she developed cancer and appeared as what I had seen. I was to young and Inexperience to realize what God was doing in my life and how much he had blessed me. Needless to say the enemy set out a assignment against me. Soon after I was saved a disruption occurred in the home where I lived. We were force to move and I wound up leaving the church where I got saved and had to look for a new one. I had suffered a abandonment by my mother and father early on in life and was staying with my Grandmother. Initially we had moved in with her daughter in Brooklyn n.y. but me and my brother were not welcome really and I wound up going to Queens to stay with my mother. I attempted to find another church but the kids there were not very friendly and tend to stay in there own groups. It was hard not having parents that were attending the church with me. It sort of made me look like a outsider. After a while I got discourage and found friends in the streets of Queens. I began to drink because it made me feel better. I began to smoke marijuana for the same reason. I was about 17 at this time. I continued to believe in God and pray but my walk had took a different turn. God was still dealing with me and I continued to learn things through radio ministries and reading my bible. and felt a call to preach the gospel. But addiction had set in and lust for woman with it. at age 18 I began to smoke crack cocaine and deal with whores. This vexed me at times but I could not stop. I wound up in shelters and living on the streets. I stole and sold my self for drugs and I was beaten and abused and I abused others. It got so bad that I would Smoke My cocaine through my tears with my heart in my through.
I missed Jesus so much and wanted to stop but could not. My conviction was heavy on me and the only thing I could do to relieve it was do more drugs. After a while God helped me and I got arrested and wound up having to go to a 18 month drug program. This was it I could get myself Back together and back in Christ, or so I thought.
Although I wasn't doing drugs my sexual drives were still in full operation and I began to secretly masturbate from time to time in the bathroom. One day while doing this the conviction of the lord came upon me and instead of stopping right then and there I continued until finished. Very soon after I began be traumatized; because the two conflicting thoughts (sexual fantasizing and the Lord voice) in my head at the same time some how became twisted into a blasphemous thought. The more I tried not to think about it the more It bombarded and intruded on my mind. It got so bad that I couldn’t function for fear. I tried to tell people about it, pastors, associates, friends but no one seemed to be able to understand or have a answer without me telling them the actual thought. and I couldn't do that. So I drank more and more. Now drugs were my escape from this private torment I was in. Well bringing down to present day. Just last year I am 46 now 25 years later I began to come out of my addiction and began to make the attempt to follow after Jesus. Something strange happen. After giving my pastor a hug and leaving here office this one day, as I crossed the street something hit me in my bowels Unseen. A great sensation of anxiety began to well up out of nowhere. I felt like I was loosing it so I began to look on the computer for causes for anxiety. This lasted for three days. Then that night I had a dream a hand came out of the sky and scooped five small men out of my belly through a hole the hand had made and what look like a football shaped head octopus with a creepy smile across its face. The next day no anxiety. I did not consider this much I was just thankful it was gone. thought to myself that could have been the lords hand removing those things. Didn't think they were demons. 3 days later out of nowhere I was drinking and ran into some people and one guy was clearly gay and he kept on hugging me in greeting and shaking my hand I allowed it to continue because I thought he might have some cocaine and one more time wouldn’t hurt, but as he kept greeting me the anxiety began to build again in my bowels and by the time we parted I was full blown again. That night I felt something under my skin move up the left side of my body and sit over my chest. After two and a half weeks of not being able to go to the bathroom and pain in my chest I was sitting on the couch and some how I knew that that night I would not wake up in the morning. I began to pray and felt God standing in front of me. And I pleaded for my life and expressed my eternal hope which I held on to all my life. I ended by simply resigning to what ever the lord would do and simply said, Lord I'm afraid and I wept and went to sleep. To my surprise I awoke! Well I went on a campaign to cast out the demons and get better. I called every body and had them pray for me and with me, after a few attempts the demons were dispatched. I went to the hospital and went on laxatives for a while. I went back to church. after a while I met a lady there and began dating. (we had sex) It went fine for a while but soon it got stagnant and we agreed to have a drink to relax things a bit. Need I say more. well the lord firmly convinced me to stop the drugs but I reasoned I could still drink although I said I would not. After a while we broke up. I was hurt about it. I really wanted to be a example of a godly man to her and I blew it really badly. I continued to drink and relived myself with a couple of prostitutes here and there to get over the hurt. (bad Idea) The lord came to me in a dream in the form of Joseph prince. He was preaching and saying sometimes people don’t get what God is trying to say to them, and I'm shaking my head like I know what he's talking about; and he look at me like what are you shaking your head about do you even know. He said sometimes the word doesn't hit you like a sword through the gut sometimes its a little here and a little there" Then he looked down my throat into my belly and I woke up but I couldn’t stay up a deep sleep was forcing back to the bed. and I dreamed, I dreamed I was in place and I was talking to a man who said to me that he was dead, and that he died, he was so sad and grief stricken. I asked him wasn’t he saved and he said "you wont know that till you get here" It kept lamenting that only if he had someone to help him. and the a bunch of people came out praising God and came and got the man and they went off praising God; and I awoke. This put a end to my drinking and my messing around with prostitutes. I resigned to put my vices away and do the lords work and live his way. well I was working on a project a DVD to distribute on the illuminati and the coming new world order. while surfing the internet for information an erotic YouTube video appeared. I stopped to look for a moment felt to turn away but couldn’t. after the girl had finished dancing I turned but was already excited from the dance. I fought hard and long but the need to relieve myself was great and I gave into it. I reasoned that this was not fornication or adultery because there was no partner. I reasoned I was just going to relieve myself nothing more. Soon after a snake like spirit wrapped itself around my chest and neck and began squeezing the life out of me. Oh no I've done it again. This lasted for two weeks and I got everyone to pray for me and with me and I got delivered from it as well praise God. Now I was set. No drugs no alcohol no sexual immorality of any kind. Got it. Well while watching a movie called revelation ( about the last days and the illuminati's part in it, a satanic symbol caught my eye and a few second later that anxiety began to build up in the center of my chest. In my head I herd something say cast it off now. but I wasn’t sure. needless to say I waited to I was sure and then I began to cast it off in the name of the lord Jesus Christ. That night while I was sleeping a voice came along side my bed and whispered "I have it" I immediately began to pray and that morning woke up with a terrible pressure on the left side of my neck and chest and a lot of pressure build up in my head which till this morning I was still contending with. I prayed this morning and pleaded with the lord for mercy and he led me to read psalms 32. I'm presently believing God for my deliverance. Could I get some of your thoughts on all this and could you pray and ask God to lead your response I believe he will.