Dear sir,  Greeting and salutations in the name of our lord and savior Jesus the Christ.
I came across a article you wrote and its following correspondence on deliberate sin.  I thought I should write since I myself have suffered from this same type of presumption with some rather extraordinary results.  At present I have suffered from Two demonic attacks and am presently dealing with a third.  Let me explain; I received Jesus Christ as lord and savior in 1979 at age 15 and was committed to the faith. confirmed with a certain gift to see things on people. The Holy Spirit Showed me cancer on a friend of mine which at the time I thought was a demon because she appeared to look like death.  10 years later she developed cancer and appeared as what I had seen.  I was to young and Inexperience to realize what God was doing in my life and how much he had blessed me. Needless to say the enemy set out a assignment against me. Soon after I was saved a disruption occurred in the home where I lived. We were force to move and I wound up leaving the church where I got saved and had to look for a new one. I had suffered a abandonment by my mother and father early on in life and was staying with my Grandmother. Initially we had moved in with her daughter in Brooklyn  n.y.  but me and my brother were not welcome really and I wound up going to Queens to stay with my mother. I attempted to find another church but the kids there were not very friendly and tend to stay in there own groups.  It was hard not having parents that were attending the church with me. It sort of made me look like a outsider.   After a while I got discourage and found friends in the streets of Queens. I began to drink because it made me feel better. I began to smoke marijuana for the same reason. I was about 17 at this time.  I continued to believe in God and pray but my walk had took a different turn.  God was still dealing with me and I continued to learn things through radio ministries and reading my bible. and felt a call to preach the gospel. But addiction had set in and lust for woman with it.  at age 18  I began to smoke crack cocaine and deal with whores.  This vexed me at times but I could not stop. I wound up in shelters and living on the streets.  I stole and sold my self for drugs and I was beaten and abused and I abused others. It got so bad that I would Smoke My cocaine through my tears with my heart in my through.
I missed Jesus so much and wanted to stop but could not.  My conviction was heavy on me and the only thing I could do to relieve it was do more drugs.  After a while God helped me and I got arrested and wound up having to go to a 18 month drug program. This was it I could get myself Back together and back in Christ, or so I thought.
Although I wasn't doing drugs my sexual drives were still in full operation and I began to secretly masturbate  from time to time in the bathroom. One day while doing this the conviction of the lord came upon me and instead of stopping right then and there I continued until finished.  Very soon after I began be traumatized;  because the two conflicting thoughts (sexual fantasizing and the Lord voice) in my head at the same time some how became twisted into a blasphemous thought.  The more I tried not  to think about it  the more It bombarded and intruded on my mind.  It got so bad that I couldn’t function for fear. I tried to tell people about it, pastors, associates, friends but no one seemed to be able to understand or have a answer without me telling them the actual thought. and I couldn't do that.  So I drank more and more. Now drugs were my escape from this private torment I was in.  Well bringing down to present day.  Just last year I am 46 now 25 years later I began to come out of my addiction and began to make the attempt to follow after Jesus.  Something strange happen. After giving my pastor a hug and leaving here office this one day, as I crossed the street something hit me in my bowels Unseen.  A great sensation of anxiety began to well up out of nowhere.  I felt like I was loosing it so I began to look on the computer for causes for anxiety.  This lasted for three days. Then that night I had  a dream a hand came out of the sky and scooped five small men out of my belly through a hole the hand had made and what look like a football shaped head octopus with a creepy smile across its face. The next day no anxiety.  I did not consider this much I was just thankful it was gone. thought to myself that could have been the lords hand removing those things.  Didn't think they were demons.  3 days later out of nowhere I was drinking and ran into some people and one guy was clearly gay and he kept on hugging me in greeting and shaking my hand I allowed it to continue because I thought he might have some cocaine and one more time wouldn’t hurt, but as he kept greeting me the anxiety began to build again in my bowels and by the time we parted I was full blown again.  That night I felt something under my skin move up the left side of my body and sit over my chest.  After two and a half weeks of not being able to go to the bathroom and pain in my chest I was sitting on the couch and some how I knew that that night I would not wake up in the morning.  I began to pray and  felt God standing in front of me.  And I pleaded for my life and expressed my eternal hope which I held on to all my life.  I ended by simply resigning to what ever the lord would do and simply said, Lord I'm afraid and I wept and went to sleep. To my surprise I awoke! Well I went on a campaign to cast out the demons and get better. I called every body and had them pray for me and with me, after a few attempts the demons were dispatched. I went to the hospital and went on laxatives for a while. I went back to church. after a while I met a lady there and began dating. (we had sex)  It went fine for a while but soon it got stagnant and we agreed to have a drink to relax things a bit. Need I say more. well the lord firmly convinced me to stop the drugs but I reasoned I could still drink although I said I would not.  After a while we broke up. I was hurt about it. I really wanted to be a example of a godly man to her and I blew it really badly. I continued to drink and relived myself with a couple of prostitutes here and there to get over the hurt.  (bad Idea) The lord came to me in a dream in the form of Joseph prince.  He was preaching and saying sometimes people don’t get what God is trying to say to them, and I'm shaking my head like I know what he's talking about; and he look at me like what are you shaking your head about do you even know. He said sometimes the word doesn't hit you like a sword through the gut sometimes its a little here and a little there"   Then he looked down my throat into my belly and I woke up but I couldn’t stay up a deep sleep was forcing back to the bed. and I dreamed, I dreamed I was in  place and I was talking to a man who said to me that he was dead, and that he died,  he was so sad and grief stricken. I asked him wasn’t he saved and he said "you wont know that till you get here"  It kept lamenting that only if he had someone to help him.  and the a bunch of people came out praising God and came and got the man and they went off praising God; and I awoke.  This put a end to my drinking and my messing around with prostitutes.  I resigned to put my vices away and do the lords work and live his way. well I was working on a project a DVD to distribute on the illuminati and the coming new world order. while surfing the internet for information an erotic YouTube video appeared. I stopped to look for a moment felt to turn away but couldn’t.  after the girl had finished dancing I turned  but was already excited from the dance. I fought hard and long but the need to relieve myself was great and I gave into it. I reasoned that this was not fornication or adultery because there was no partner. I reasoned I was just going to relieve myself nothing more.  Soon after a snake like spirit wrapped itself around my chest and neck and began squeezing the life out of me.  Oh no I've done it again. This lasted for two weeks and I got everyone to pray for me and with me and I got delivered from it as well praise God.  Now I was set. No drugs no alcohol no sexual immorality of any kind. Got it.  Well while watching a movie called revelation ( about the last days and the illuminati's part in it, a satanic symbol caught my eye and a few second later that anxiety began to build up in the center of my chest.  In my head I herd something say cast it off now. but I wasn’t sure. needless to say I waited to I was sure and then I began to cast it off in the name of the lord Jesus Christ.  That night while I was sleeping a voice came along side my bed and whispered "I have it" I immediately began to pray and that morning woke up with a terrible pressure on the left side of my neck and chest and a lot of pressure build up in my head which till this morning I was still contending with. I prayed this morning and pleaded with the lord for mercy and he led me to read psalms 32.  I'm presently believing God for my deliverance.  Could I get some of your thoughts on all this and could you pray and ask God to lead your response I believe he will.

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My Dear Brother of course God will forgive you, because He is a forgiving God. But you must first have FAITH...and obviously you believe, because you have given Him the credit for your various deliverances. Now that you believe, you must REPENT, and repent is being REALLY sorry for your disobedience and TRULY turn away from those sins. I would admonish you to really study the book of Matthew and ask God to open your mind and heart to what He is teaching in that book. Also, I am going to say that Ephesians 2:8-10: says:

8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

9Not of works, lest any man should boast.

10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them

From the book of Matthew, you should learn that God has given up POWER, because He dwells in us once we accept Him, but remember God cannot dwell in an UNCLEAN place. God cannot dwell where SIN abides and if we say we have Him living on the inside and we SIN we are lying. Honestly, my brother, you will have people that say God is a forgiving God, and yes He is, this is why He wakes us up everyday, giving us the opportunity to get it right, but we have a choice to cast evil from us, we have a choice to cut off our right hand if it offends us, we have a choice to die daily, and He has given us the POWER to resist evil. We can make up all the excuses we want to, but we have the knowledge of good and evil, we know what is righteous, but our sinful nature arises and we make the choice to follow that which we should resist. You have people that say, once saved always saved, and that is true, but being saved and sinning is not going to get you to see God eternally. Obedience to His Word will...we must live Holy, because that is His commandment. He say Be ye Holy for I Am Holy...if His spirit dwells on the inside of us then He has given us the POWER to overcome evil and live righteously (right). This is why there will be FEW...because people think that because they are saved by GRACE that God will forgive their sins, so they can keep on sinning and God will forgive then everytime. The forgiveness comes when we have a broken and contrite heart and truly mean what we say and start to follow Gods steps in love and obedience. Keeping ourselves in line with His Word and knowing that He lives on the inside and that we have the same power He had on this earth. Taking the authorative place that we have been given and live according to His Words. The book of Ecclesiastes says:

Ecclesiastes 8
1Who is as the wise man? and who knoweth the interpretation of a thing? a man's wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed.
2I counsel thee to keep the king's commandment, and that in regard of the oath of God.
3Be not hasty to go out of his sight: stand not in an evil thing; for he doeth whatsoever pleaseth him.
4Where the word of a king is, there is power: and who may say unto him, What doest thou?
5Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing: and a wise man's heart discerneth both time and judgment.
6Because to every purpose there is time and judgment, therefore the misery of man is great upon him.
7For he knoweth not that which shall be: for who can tell him when it shall be?
8There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death: and there is no discharge in that war; neither shall wickedness deliver those that are given to it.
9All this have I seen, and applied my heart unto every work that is done under the sun: there is a time wherein one man ruleth over another to his own hurt.
10And so I saw the wicked buried, who had come and gone from the place of the holy, and they were forgotten in the city where they had so done: this is also vanity.
11Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
12Though a sinner do evil an hundred times, and his days be prolonged, yet surely I know that it shall be well with them that fear God, which fear before him:
13But it shall not be well with the wicked, neither shall he prolong his days, which are as a shadow; because he feareth not before God.
14There is a vanity which is done upon the earth; that there be just men, unto whom it happeneth according to the work of the wicked; again, there be wicked men, to whom it happeneth according to the work of the righteous: I said that this also is vanity.
15Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.
16When I applied mine heart to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done upon the earth: (for also there is that neither day nor night seeth sleep with his eyes:)
17Then I beheld all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun: because though a man labour to seek it out, yet he shall not find it; yea farther; though a wise man think to know it, yet shall he not be able to find it.

Get to know what God has commanded us through His Word and follow them, when you can't act as though you are DEAD....do NOTHING, a dead person can move...always remember that. Be dead to that you know will befall you. I will give you an example....I don't have a particular habit, like drugs, drinking, smoking...but I am human and I am flesh and I have been married, so the enemy wouldn't tempt me with drugs, booze, but with a handsome, well spoken man, who will act like he loves God, because I am married, love the Lord, so the spirit of lust will more than like be the imp that the evil one would send my way, but thank God for HIS keeping POWER that He has given me and the knowledge I have of His Word. Now it wouldn't stop there, but I am just trying to give you an example.

I say all this to say, remember the enemy will come to you in that which you liked in your sinful state, but build yourself up through the Word of God, so you can speak the Word of God over a matter.

Matthew 21:21-25

21Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

23And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority?

24And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.

25The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?

Brother, this long post is from the love I have for you as my brother in Christ and I just so much want you to know that your FAITH in God will can bring about and righteous life if you obey His Word. It really isn't hard, people say it is hard, because they still want to do their own will, but when you do the will of God you will see that it is not as hard as you thought. God say, take my yoke for it is easy...it really is, I am a living witness. It is your choice to either follow God or yourself, or man....YOU HAVE THE CHOICE for REAL.

I will leave you with this

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

6And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

In Love, Sis. Denise
Thank you so much Denise for your response please pray for me Im tring not to be afraid and to take courage. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a living God. But more than that I dont want to be seperated from him, He's all I know since my youth. I love him and dont want to eternally loose him. Please pray for me.
Remember the spirit of fear is NOT of God....so you know where it is coming from. Thus, the word of God you have in you, you must speak it to that spirit of fear. SPEAK GOD's Word to that imp that is attacking your mind. with, and change that us to ME.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

And quote those scriptures you know out loud, so that the enemy know you mean business. We can't keep praying and asking God to do things for us when He has already given us the power to do it. We must believe and stand on His Word. He told us to SPEAK to the mountain, He say resist the devil and He will flee...He didn't instruct us to ask God to do everything for us. He gave us the POWER TO DO IT. Amen....Learn to speak God's Word, because His Word is Life....

Psalm 107:20 The sent His Word and healed them from ALL their destructions

I will continue to lift you up in the name of Jesus and that you get the mind of Christ and fear is stomped out. Amen.

In Love, Sis. Denise
Isaiah 14:11-14 Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee. How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

Revelation 20:10-15 And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
you have some nerve with all the copy pasting you do..
Psalm 14:1-3 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God. They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
Proverbs 10 :17-21 He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool. In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
Proverbs 12:15-23 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame. He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit. There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy. There shall no evil happen to the just: but the wicked shall be filled with mischief. Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
Proverbs 10:23-24 It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom. The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted.
Proverbs 14:2-12 He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him. In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them. Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit. Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour. The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy. The house of the wicked shall be overthrown: but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish. There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

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