RONETTA,THERE IS NO FAILURE NOR SHADW OF TURNING "IN GOD", BUT THERE IS DAILY DESTRUCTION IN THE LIVES OF PEOPLE STRIVING TOWARDS BEING LIKE GOD OR AS HE HAS INSTRUCTED US TO BE. TWO IMPERFECT HUMANS ARE GOING TO RUN INTO FAILURES AND THAT IS WHY (A THREE-FOLD CORD IS NOT EASLIY BROKEN), CHRIST MUST BE THE NUCLEUS OF THE "EQUATION" OF CALED "MARRIAGE". THE FAILURE IS NOT IN THE DIMENSION OF "GOD", BUT THE GREATER DIMENSION OF "FLESH", WHICH IS OUR NATURAL HABITAT AND LEVEL OF DAY TO DAY OPERATION.
I agree, the failure come as seen in the scripture and in the lives we live today, is allowing our flesh to get in the way. Being inpatient whether lust or convience, or you or others feeling that a person is a good match for you.In my early teens I watch the young adults at the church I was attending put together by a key group at the church,as many as six couples put together.As many as five couples married, four ended up in divorce in about 3 to 4 years if it took that long. They all made good couples to the natural eye, but the main ingredient was missing the father had not put them together. This main ingredient is important for a marriage to last, and time proves if it is there.SHALOM
Marriage counseling is not always possible (How can the blind lead the blind) but very much needed. If you have a good Godly counselor then go for it. It will help you. If you don't and you are a Child of God then you must fall on your knees and consult the Lord. Let's face it, flaky leadership can ruin your life. Case in point: My husband told me of a good friend of his who got saved and had a live in girlfriend that he'd already had a child with. He didn't want to leave her, so he went to his LEADER (Pastor) and told him of his situation. The pastor's advice was this, well you already have a child together so you may as well get married. This young man followed this advice and was divorced in less than one year. His new wife decided that this new life style just wasn't for her. So this obviously was not a union of God, though the leader (shepherd) advised marriage. They were not counseled beyond the initial question by them and quick answer by him (The Pastor).
Now as for a minister who knows better and has discernment and will allow God to lead him as he leads the church, you should expect a whole other scenario. After guiding them into prayer, motive and understanding, one should consult with God on their behalf to determine the Godly validity of their union. God will speak, my sheep hear my voice and another they will not follow. If the couple is saved, they will hear from God. If the minister is indeed a true man of God and God reveals something other than a Godly union, then he SHOULD NOT MARRY THEM.
There is a scripture that says it is better to marry than to burn, but one must ask, do I want a marriage founded on Godly love or lust. In many cases, people marry for the wrong reasons and dare not consult leadership or the Lord. This could be the reason for many failed marriages in the church.
To address the the young woman's question about a Godly marriage failing, I just don't see it happening. If God has joined two together, then that means God ordained this from the foundation of the world. He is very much involved in this marriage and he is definitely the glue that will holds it together. No one can come between a union that God has formulated. The Godly couple will always be lead away from anything that encourages break up or separation. That is not to say that trouble won't come your way, because it can and will. Trouble is an absolute and may seem at times inconceivable, but just know that all things work together for our Good if we love God and are called according to his purpose. Understand that a Godly marriage has a purpose that has been purposed by God's design.
YOU HAVE RENDERED SOUND ADVICE. I HAVE DEFERRED MARRYING COUPLES WHERE I SAW NO KINGDOM PURPOSE, AND THIS IS THE ULTIMATE REASON GOD UNITES COPLES IN MATRIMONY, FOR THE ADVANCING OF HIS KINGDOM. THE OTHER MAJOR ISSUE THAT I TEACH/COUNSEL IS, KNOW THAT WHOMEVER PRESIDES OVER YOUR WEDDING HAS A TESTIMONY IN THEIR OWN MARRIAGE,BECAUSE THERE ARE TRANSFERRING OF SPIRITS AND IMPARTATIONS DURING THIS EXCHANGE OF COVENANT. (SEE MORE IN MY BOOK, "MARRIED, WITHOUT A HUSBAND!") THIS DOESN'T GUARANTEE LONGEVITY, BUT IT ADDS A FIGHTING CHANCE ,COUPLED WITH OTHER MAJOR FACTORS.
I believe that if both the man and the woman are 100% clear on their role in the relationship, and are prepared to stand before God and witnesses to keep the sacred vows of marrage holy, there should be no set time as to how long coulseling should go on. But with that same thought in mind getting two people to understand and respect the bible guidelines for matrimony is not a one day meeting.