12 Steps for Those in Sexual Bondage

[Mark H. Stevens, Th.D]

Samson, Solomon, and Me is a Christ Centered 12-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. We are dedicated to helping men overcome sexual addictions and bondages. We names the group Samson, Solomon, and Me because even the strongest men can fall to sexual immorality. We use biblical principals to assist us in recovery. Even if you are not a Christian you are welcome to this group because I believe the principals applied will help anyone.
Here are the 12 steps of Samson, Solomon, and Me.

1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Psalms 38:4 "For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an
heavy burden they are too heavy for me."

There is no heavier load to carry than the burden of sin. His mind is stayed constantly on his sin. Sin is a burden NO man can bear. Only Jesus can bear sin. We must release the sin through confession and repentance (change our mind).




2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I John 3:5 "And ye know that he was manifested to take away our
sins; and in him is no sin."

Jesus was completely without sin. He had never sinned. His body
had no broken bones. He was the Lamb without blemish. He took our sin
upon His sinless body. Our sin died on the cross. Our sins are not
covered, they are done away with by the blood of Jesus. He gave us His
righteousness.



3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

Proverbs 3:7 "Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and
depart from evil."

The most dangerous thing, if you are trying to succeed in the
world, is to get satisfied with yourself. A person cannot grow when
he gets this attitude. When we rely upon our self, we are always
disappointed . No one likes a know-it-all or a conceited person. We
must remain humble. What little knowledge that we do have is because
of God's generosity towards us. Fear of the Lord will take away all
arrogance and pride. In the first few verses of Proverbs, we learned
that the fear of the Lord is true wisdom. Fear here could be looked
at again as reverence or high praise. Give God the glory for it all.



4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.


Psalms 51:6 "Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and
in the hidden [part] thou shalt make me to know wisdom."

I have been saying, all along that God looks at the inside of
man. He looks at the heart and examines the condition of the heart.
David's heart was always stayed upon God. It was the desire of David's
heart to do what was right in God's sight. David fell prey to the
desires of his flesh, when he sinned with Bathsheba. I have said, over
and over, that we must let our spirit rule over our flesh. The flesh
of mankind must be crucified with Christ that we might live victorious
lives.


5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

James 5:16 "Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one
for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a
righteous man availeth much."

This answers many questions about prayer. To be truly forgiven
for our sins, we must express a sorrow for committing them. This is
what the confessing one to another is all about. This is not
confession to a minister, but to a friend in Christ. This helps us get
it out in the open and deal with it. We are to pray for each other. We
must not just pray for ourselves, but for others. Many times, God
takes care of the needs in our lives as we pray for someone else. This
healing is body, mind, soul, and spirit. We are not just to pray, but
to pray over and over, until we get an answer. This effectual fervent
prayer just means that we are earnestly seeking God. It means that we
are to continue in this prayer for an answer. Notice, also, that the
person doing the praying is righteous {in right standing with God}.
He, or she, is righteous, because they have taken on the righteousness
of Christ and been made sons of God. God hears the prayers of His
children, and answers them.





6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.


Psalms 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a
right spirit within me."

David is very wise. To get a clean heart, we must allow God to
wash our old one in the blood of the Lamb. We must allow the old man
to die that we can become a new creature in Christ Jesus. Spirit, in
the verse above, has to do with breath. God breathed the breath of
life into man when He first created him. I believe this breath
{spirit}, here, means new life. David is saying, I want to be born
again with a spirit stayed upon God.


7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

Psalms 51:7 "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me,
and I shall be whiter than snow."

Hyssop was used to apply the blood of the Lamb. David knows that
only the blood of the precious Lamb of God can wash him and make him
white as snow. Purge, in the verse above, is speaking of purifying his
inward man. He is saying, Lord, you burn out all the evil within me,
and wash me with your blood, and make me white as snow. This is a
white that is so white no fuller on earth can compare with it. This is
not David washing, this is God washing David. This is the white that
we all receive from the Lord, when He washes us in the blood of the
Lamb.









8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Exodus 22:1 "If a man shall steal an
ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen
for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep."

Here, we see someone who had not just stolen, but also, had done away
with the stolen merchandise. The punishment fits the crime. this thief,
here, would feel the pain of the theft by restoring four and five times as
much as he stole.



9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.


II Chronicles 33:15 "And he took away the strange gods, and the
idol out of the house of the LORD, and all the altars that he had
built in the mount of the house of the LORD, and in Jerusalem, and
cast [them] out of the city."

He went back and tried to make amends for all of the false
worship he had established. He tore down the places of idol worship,
and removed the evil idols in the house of the LORD. It appears, he
had truly repented for his sins.

II Chronicles 33:16 "And he repaired the altar of the LORD, and
sacrificed thereon peace offerings and thank offerings, and commanded
Judah to serve the LORD God of Israel."

These were both voluntary offerings. He had completely turned
around, and commanded Judah to do the same.



10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

I John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to
forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

"Confess" means to mention the exact sin. This is the first step
to forgiveness. Christians are not righteous in their own right. We
have taken on the righteousness of Christ. We are washed in the blood
of the Lamb and robed in His white robe.







11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

Joshua 1:8 "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy
mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest
observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou
shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success."



12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.


Psalms 51:13 "[Then] will I teach transgressors thy ways; and
sinners shall be converted unto thee."

David is promising, if God forgives him, he will tell all who
commit sin that God forgives. He is actually promising to be a soul
winner for God. Not only has David learned a lesson himself about
committing sin, but he promises to pass on this knowledge to others
that they might be saved, also. The best teacher in all the world is
someone who has passed the same way before you. Experience is a great
teacher.