A True Gift-4giftmenot
Now that Christmas is over, and our various motives for giving to friends, family, coworkers, employers, employees, students, teachers, bus drivers, the mailman and even practical strangers have been met or even exceeded lets turn our attention to a holiday that bemoans us to search out that particular individual and express to them our heart felt desire to have them in a category all to themselves, as our Valentine.
I have to confess that I’m guilty as well of being a ritualistic gift giver. During our first holiday season together, my wife Patricia studied me from across the dining room table, as I, in Santa’s elf mode made out my shopping list , trying not to forget anyone, trying to decide who to place in what gift value category, you know, under $10, $10-50, $50-100, $100 and up (yeah, like I’m the only one) I spied her sympathetic smile and head shake as I worked feverishly, “What?” I asked in bewilderment of her bewilderment.
“What are you doing honey? When was the last time you even spoke to some of those people on that list?”
“That doesn’t matter”, I rationalized. “It’s the thought that counts, and I want them to know that I’m thinking about them.”
Her smile and head shaking increased proportionality, she had detected a flaw in my logic, “Then why not just tell them that your thinking about them? After all it is the thought that counts.”
I stared blankly at the list, then at Pat in child like amazement, my eyes shifted back to the list…
“Yeah right.” I chided as I started back to work.
That Christmas I gave gifts, or should I say presents to some who I don’t know why I even placed on my list, “Gee thanks Jerry, you shouldn’t have”. I gave Pat jewelry and a fur. She smile affectionately, gushed a bit, kissed me and said thank you honey, “you shouldn’t have”.
She gave me a Colts hoody.
A little more then a month later I would have another chance to impress my wife with my gift giving prowl for her birthday. But what? I’d given her a fur and she’d wore it only to try it on, my colts hoody on the other hand is worn religiously every Colts game.
I’d have to give this some thought.
Pats parents had both died before we met. Often I’d heard her heart felt expressions on how much she wished that I had met them. “They would have been crazy about you Jerry”. A high school graduation photo of Pats mother, adorned a busy shelf in our living room. Two weeks before Pats birthday, I made a copy of the photo and put it back without being noticed. Then I went to work.
It had been years since I had done a portrait and although Pat had saw some of my art, she had no idea that what I was planning for her birthday would be so personal. Taking out the necessary paraphernalia only when Pat was away, I worked stealthily for as long as I could. Finally the day before her birthday I found myself at the public library in a private study booth putting the last touches on what was truly a labor of love. Then , after having the portrait professionally matted and wrapped in plain brown paper, I presented my gift.
As Pat gingerly tore away the generic paper I watched the transformation of a bubbling giggly girl into a woman moved by what she saw. As her tearing eyes met mine we both saw in each other something that we had not seen before” Do you like it ?’ I asked.
“Oh Jerry”, was her only response.
That past Christmas I had given her something I thought she would like, something I thought she could use. Something nice, practical, expensive. (Not saying that she didn’t like, hey it was a nice coat!), but she had given me something she knew was connected to what I cared about, Colts football.
A couple of weeks later was not only Valentines day but our first anniversary as well (ever the romantic), With the lesson of the fur and the portrait still fresh I thought about what my wife cared about and tried to give her a gift that would be connected to that.
I didn’t fail. And again her smile and tears of joy were the only gift I needed.
My wife has asked me not to share here the personal gifts that we share on valentines day and our anniversary, something she would like to remain exclusively ours.
I’ll honor that. But I will tell you this, that for a cost of less then $20 we now share a gift on these two special occasions that is priceless.
A wise man once said, and I’m pretty sure it was Solomon, that we all come into this world with nothing and it is with nothing we all leave it,. This leads me to believe that the only thing that we truly possess in our short lives is our time. How we use it to effect others, how we use it to create memories that will last after the candle has expired or the last song is sung. Will we use our time in search of the perfect present or in thought of that perfect gift? Lets not confuse the two.
The time we invest in listening to that special someone, someone special enough to be our valentine, is a true gauge of “ the value of the gift”. Sure, 4giftmenot is a business, and like most businesses it was started to make money, but I hope that the amount of money generated by sales wont become the barometer for its worth.I think that instead of being remembered as the guy who could talk someone into spending their hard earned cash online, I would rather be remembered as the guy who influenced someone to show their love one through their “gift giving “ that they are worth the time.
So by all means please browse the pages of 4giftmenot.com and maybe you’ll find that certain something that connects to what your valentine cares about. All items are priced as marked
But, as for what’s been said here, I hope its taken to heart and received as intended, a gift.
Jerry Hunt
4GIFTmenot.com
I have to confess that I’m guilty as well of being a ritualistic gift giver. During our first holiday season together, my wife Patricia studied me from across the dining room table, as I, in Santa’s elf mode made out my shopping list , trying not to forget anyone, trying to decide who to place in what gift value category, you know, under $10, $10-50, $50-100, $100 and up (yeah, like I’m the only one) I spied her sympathetic smile and head shake as I worked feverishly, “What?” I asked in bewilderment of her bewilderment.
“What are you doing honey? When was the last time you even spoke to some of those people on that list?”
“That doesn’t matter”, I rationalized. “It’s the thought that counts, and I want them to know that I’m thinking about them.”
Her smile and head shaking increased proportionality, she had detected a flaw in my logic, “Then why not just tell them that your thinking about them? After all it is the thought that counts.”
I stared blankly at the list, then at Pat in child like amazement, my eyes shifted back to the list…
“Yeah right.” I chided as I started back to work.
That Christmas I gave gifts, or should I say presents to some who I don’t know why I even placed on my list, “Gee thanks Jerry, you shouldn’t have”. I gave Pat jewelry and a fur. She smile affectionately, gushed a bit, kissed me and said thank you honey, “you shouldn’t have”.
She gave me a Colts hoody.
A little more then a month later I would have another chance to impress my wife with my gift giving prowl for her birthday. But what? I’d given her a fur and she’d wore it only to try it on, my colts hoody on the other hand is worn religiously every Colts game.
I’d have to give this some thought.
Pats parents had both died before we met. Often I’d heard her heart felt expressions on how much she wished that I had met them. “They would have been crazy about you Jerry”. A high school graduation photo of Pats mother, adorned a busy shelf in our living room. Two weeks before Pats birthday, I made a copy of the photo and put it back without being noticed. Then I went to work.
It had been years since I had done a portrait and although Pat had saw some of my art, she had no idea that what I was planning for her birthday would be so personal. Taking out the necessary paraphernalia only when Pat was away, I worked stealthily for as long as I could. Finally the day before her birthday I found myself at the public library in a private study booth putting the last touches on what was truly a labor of love. Then , after having the portrait professionally matted and wrapped in plain brown paper, I presented my gift.
As Pat gingerly tore away the generic paper I watched the transformation of a bubbling giggly girl into a woman moved by what she saw. As her tearing eyes met mine we both saw in each other something that we had not seen before” Do you like it ?’ I asked.
“Oh Jerry”, was her only response.
That past Christmas I had given her something I thought she would like, something I thought she could use. Something nice, practical, expensive. (Not saying that she didn’t like, hey it was a nice coat!), but she had given me something she knew was connected to what I cared about, Colts football.
A couple of weeks later was not only Valentines day but our first anniversary as well (ever the romantic), With the lesson of the fur and the portrait still fresh I thought about what my wife cared about and tried to give her a gift that would be connected to that.
I didn’t fail. And again her smile and tears of joy were the only gift I needed.
My wife has asked me not to share here the personal gifts that we share on valentines day and our anniversary, something she would like to remain exclusively ours.
I’ll honor that. But I will tell you this, that for a cost of less then $20 we now share a gift on these two special occasions that is priceless.
A wise man once said, and I’m pretty sure it was Solomon, that we all come into this world with nothing and it is with nothing we all leave it,. This leads me to believe that the only thing that we truly possess in our short lives is our time. How we use it to effect others, how we use it to create memories that will last after the candle has expired or the last song is sung. Will we use our time in search of the perfect present or in thought of that perfect gift? Lets not confuse the two.
The time we invest in listening to that special someone, someone special enough to be our valentine, is a true gauge of “ the value of the gift”. Sure, 4giftmenot is a business, and like most businesses it was started to make money, but I hope that the amount of money generated by sales wont become the barometer for its worth.I think that instead of being remembered as the guy who could talk someone into spending their hard earned cash online, I would rather be remembered as the guy who influenced someone to show their love one through their “gift giving “ that they are worth the time.
So by all means please browse the pages of 4giftmenot.com and maybe you’ll find that certain something that connects to what your valentine cares about. All items are priced as marked
But, as for what’s been said here, I hope its taken to heart and received as intended, a gift.
Jerry Hunt
4GIFTmenot.com
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