Bernice Dickey
Bernice Dickey overcame grief to help others
By HOLLY MILKOWSKI Copyright 2010 Houston Chronicle
Nov. 4, 2010, 6:20PM
JAMES NIELSEN : CHRONICLE
Bernice Dickey lost her parents in a car accident and later lost her husband and oldest daughter in another car accident. She has turned her grief into a healing ministry to help others.
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Several years ago, Bernice Dickey's daughter Miriam rushed downstairs to investigate a strange sound in the house. Concerned, she asked her mother, "What is that noise?"
Dickey looked around, puzzled, and said, "What noise?"
That's when it hit Miriam: "You're laughing! I have never heard you laugh, Mom."
Dickey credits this moment with giving her the courage to snap out of a depression that lasted far too long.
"When I realized that my daughter came running because she didn't recognize this noise … and I had to tell her 'That's Mommy laughing,' I knew then I had to get on the ball," Dickey said. "Can you imagine your child living with you and never hearing you laugh, never knowing you could? That was her 'normal.' "
Dickey is a minister of healing who survived years of crippling grief after the loss of her parents in a car accident in 1991, followed in 2002 by another car accident that killed her 38-year-old husband, Kevin, and 10-year-old daughter, Naomi . Miriam, then an infant, survived the accident.
As self-therapy, Dickey wrote diary entries and letters to God in a journal compilation called My #1 is Still My #1! — an inspirational book about how she prioritized her faith in God to get through her grief. She had revisited her journal to face the pain and felt called to turn it into a book.
She likens her ensuing prayers to "wrestling" because she was hesitant at first to publicly reveal her personal story. But soon she realized that the moment she decided to become a minister, her story was no longer her own - it belonged to God.
First she pared down her work schedule to create time for emotional healing. She retired in 2007 from her career of two decades in public school education. Additionally, she started K&N Ministries, Inc. and opened BRIGHT Educational Resources, an educational consulting firm that holds workshops for parents from school districts with at-risk student populations .
Living on retirement money and income from her book and consulting work, she volunteers at Kainos Community Church in Katy as a Rhema minister, comparable to an associate-level minister at other churches.
As a bible-study teacher for the winter term and guest speaker at book clubs and families-in-crisis workshops, Dickey talks about how her faith proved that "everything I needed was inside of me."
Courtney Williams, a Hempstead Independent School District director of special education who met Dickey through work, says she helped her validate the loss she felt as a single mother.
"(She) can find a teachable moment in any situation," Williams says. "She is going make sure that everyone understands what she is teaching, from the 5-year-old to the 100-year-old."
Dickey centers her ministry on bereavement and "helping broken-hearted people to become unstuck." Terri Washington, a longtime friend who met Dickey at church , says Dickey encouraged her to stay optimistic during a health crisis in which a seven-year fight with lupus cost Washington her liver in 1998. Though Washington believes that people can overcome their pain without spirituality, Dickey's "outgoing spirit and a caring for all people" convinced her that "it's a big help to have faith in God to keep you strong."
These days, one of Dickey's favorite ways to spend time with her daughter is watching movies. Comedies, to be exact.
"Now I'm intentional, I'm deliberate. I try to laugh every day as my therapy ," Dickey said. "I feel that laughter, and I feel God."
holly.milkowski@chron.com
By HOLLY MILKOWSKI Copyright 2010 Houston Chronicle
Nov. 4, 2010, 6:20PM
JAMES NIELSEN : CHRONICLE
Bernice Dickey lost her parents in a car accident and later lost her husband and oldest daughter in another car accident. She has turned her grief into a healing ministry to help others.
Share Del.icio.usDiggTwitterYahoo! BuzzFacebookStumbleUponEmail Close [X]
Several years ago, Bernice Dickey's daughter Miriam rushed downstairs to investigate a strange sound in the house. Concerned, she asked her mother, "What is that noise?"
Dickey looked around, puzzled, and said, "What noise?"
That's when it hit Miriam: "You're laughing! I have never heard you laugh, Mom."
Dickey credits this moment with giving her the courage to snap out of a depression that lasted far too long.
"When I realized that my daughter came running because she didn't recognize this noise … and I had to tell her 'That's Mommy laughing,' I knew then I had to get on the ball," Dickey said. "Can you imagine your child living with you and never hearing you laugh, never knowing you could? That was her 'normal.' "
Dickey is a minister of healing who survived years of crippling grief after the loss of her parents in a car accident in 1991, followed in 2002 by another car accident that killed her 38-year-old husband, Kevin, and 10-year-old daughter, Naomi . Miriam, then an infant, survived the accident.
As self-therapy, Dickey wrote diary entries and letters to God in a journal compilation called My #1 is Still My #1! — an inspirational book about how she prioritized her faith in God to get through her grief. She had revisited her journal to face the pain and felt called to turn it into a book.
She likens her ensuing prayers to "wrestling" because she was hesitant at first to publicly reveal her personal story. But soon she realized that the moment she decided to become a minister, her story was no longer her own - it belonged to God.
First she pared down her work schedule to create time for emotional healing. She retired in 2007 from her career of two decades in public school education. Additionally, she started K&N Ministries, Inc. and opened BRIGHT Educational Resources, an educational consulting firm that holds workshops for parents from school districts with at-risk student populations .
Living on retirement money and income from her book and consulting work, she volunteers at Kainos Community Church in Katy as a Rhema minister, comparable to an associate-level minister at other churches.
As a bible-study teacher for the winter term and guest speaker at book clubs and families-in-crisis workshops, Dickey talks about how her faith proved that "everything I needed was inside of me."
Courtney Williams, a Hempstead Independent School District director of special education who met Dickey through work, says she helped her validate the loss she felt as a single mother.
"(She) can find a teachable moment in any situation," Williams says. "She is going make sure that everyone understands what she is teaching, from the 5-year-old to the 100-year-old."
Dickey centers her ministry on bereavement and "helping broken-hearted people to become unstuck." Terri Washington, a longtime friend who met Dickey at church , says Dickey encouraged her to stay optimistic during a health crisis in which a seven-year fight with lupus cost Washington her liver in 1998. Though Washington believes that people can overcome their pain without spirituality, Dickey's "outgoing spirit and a caring for all people" convinced her that "it's a big help to have faith in God to keep you strong."
These days, one of Dickey's favorite ways to spend time with her daughter is watching movies. Comedies, to be exact.
"Now I'm intentional, I'm deliberate. I try to laugh every day as my therapy ," Dickey said. "I feel that laughter, and I feel God."
holly.milkowski@chron.com
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