I was sitting here today thinking about where God has taken me from and I am close to tears when I try to imagine how I could've possibly gotten to this place in my life. And I know it was all God. I know it was the favor God has placed on my life. I mean I can remember only 10 short years ago when I was going to clubs partying, I was out of work and broke, and doing drugs and drinking alcohol very heavily! Back in 1997 I was diagnosed with "Severe Depression with Suicidal Tendencies". I was admitted to Charter Hospital where I lived in the psych ward for 7 days. I attended groups and didn't participate because I wanted to get out so I could cut myself more. I was in horrible shape. I was running from God at 100 mph at that time! I didn't want to hear the call on my life. I didn't want to know that I would be responsible for helping to bring souls to Christ. I just wanted to live my life until I died, which was going to be soon.
I grew up a Jehovah's Witness and believed that there was no life after death. I was never taught that Jesus defeated death once and for all when He died on the cross and went down to hell to defeat the devil. Death had no power over me unless I gave it power and I didn't even know this! What if I had died then? I would've spent and eternity in a place that is "separate from God" to be tortured FOREVER!! Do you realize what forever is? I didn't realize it because I had no concept of the soul living on forever after the body is gone to the ground. If I had died then when no one had told me about the power of Jesus I would've been a slave to the torment of the demons in hell. I am so grateful for the woman who I feel saved my life. I won't give her name but she was a really good friend of mine and she kept telling me about this church she went to and I should go. Well needless to say I didn't go. I refused to go. I felt that I had everything under control. I mean I was a national sales trainer, a motivational speaker, and I was building a big network marketing organization in a very successful company so why did I need God?
One day, when I was at work, I was having a bad day emotionally and mentally so I thought maybe I should just give up and sink back into my depression. It was comfortable there. It was relaxing there. I could sit in my bed and cry all day and not be responsible for anyone or anything. I went downstairs to talk to my friend who was the front desk receptionist at the company I worked for and she told me, "You really need to go to my church". I was feeling bad so I said, "Okay I tell you what, I don't have a car to go right now so if you God gives me a car this week then I will go next Sunday". That was a Monday morning. The very next day, one of my mom's neighbors gave me her car for free!!! Oh my God could this be true!? So I went to church the following Sunday. I told God, "Okay God maybe you're trying to tell me something. So I'm going to go this Sunday like I promised you". Well that following Sunday was November 11, 2001 and when I entered the church I wanted to cry right away. I thought it was my depression but I was to learn later that it was the presence of the Holy Spirit in the building! I immediately felt at home and at the end of service when the Pastor started the altar call, I was the first one to run up and give my life to Jesus!! Hallelujah!!!!
I felt and immediate rush of happiness fill my body! I felt like a new man. I begin to feel like I could do anything and from that moment on I was on fire for God. Now did I make mistakes along the way? Yes I did. I fell short of God's glory many times, but I kept on pushing in my Christian walk and today I can honestly say that God has brought me full circle! He has blessed me with another wife, a strong and mighty woman of God. And since following His direction and purpose for my life I have been blessed to publish 2 books with 2 more coming out this year, a new spoken word CD to be released soon, being named Poetry Editor for a national magazine, promoted to deacon in my church, acting on the drama team and singing with my wife at different churches and events all over, having the opportunity to minister in poetry and speaking to many groups of men, women, and young people all over this country! Me! The guy who was cutting himself and seriously considering suicide!
Listen, I felt led to pour this out to you. If you are reading this now and you don't know Jesus or you have walked away from Him for whatever reason, this may very well be a divine appointment set up just for you to have a chance to know Jesus or come back to Him. This is by no means the complete story of my life, but I wanted to share my testimony in the chance it may lead someone else to Christ. Please know that if God will do it for an undeserving person like me, He will do it for you!! Please turn to God today. He is waiting patiently for you. But don't wait too long. Jesus is coming back for His church very soon. Don't let it be too late. You still have a chance. God said in His word that the second coming of the King will be like a flash of lightning. It will be too late then. Please accept Jesus now. If you want me to pray with you please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will pray with you to accept Jesus as your Lord and savior today. (John 3:16)
God bless you,