Managing a godly Life: Choosing a Mate

[Apostle Aundrae T. Shaw]

Intro
God has given every person free will. He will not make your decisions for you. It is important that you make wise decisions so that you can experience the good life. You must allow the Word to be your final authority where your decisions are concerned. One of the most important decisions you will make in life is your choice of a marriage partner. It is critical that you ask the right questions when considering a mate. Life is a series of decisions and the most important decision you will ever make is the decision to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The second most important decision you will ever make is choosing your mate. Choosing the right mate can determine your happiness in life.
God will not make your decisions for you.
1. You are a free moral agent.
2. Make the right choice; choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19).
3. Life is a series of decisions.
a. Make the decision to follow God and do things His way
(Joshua 24:15).
4. In order to be successful, you must be a wise decision-maker.
5. You must have the right information in order to make the right decisions (Isaiah 7:15, 16).
6. Make the Word of God your final authority for the decisions you make.
B. Accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is the most important decision you will ever make.
1. God designed us to be free moral agents with the right to choose (Deuteronomy 30:19).
a. Every day we must make decisions.
A. The decisions you make will determine where you end up in life.
B. Make decisions in line with God and His Word.
C. The second most important decision you will make in life is the choice of a marriage partner.
1. Your happiness in life can be determined by the person you choose to marry so choose wisely.
2. Your choice of a mate will have a permanent bearing on your children.
D. There are three practical areas to look at when choosing a mate.
1. Do not make seeking a mate your priority; seek God.
2. Respect your parents' judgment when it comes to the person you are considering for marriage.
3. Marry a person whose final authority is the Word of God. Marry a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).
E. There are 40 questions you should ask yourself when you are considering a person as a marriage partner.
1. Is this person a Christian?
2. Is there pressure to have sex?
a. As Christians we must make a decision to save sex for marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
A. Your body was not meant for fornication, but for God (1 Corinthians 6:13-20).
B. Fornication is illegal sexual activity with someone you are not married to.
C. Premarital sex is the wrong basis on which to build a relationship.
3. Does this person have control over his or her sex drive?
a. If a person cannot control themselves sexually while dating, it will be difficult for them to control themselves as a married person.
4. What kind of Christian are they?
a. Are they a Christian who has made the Word of God the final authority in their life?
b. Do they use the Word of God to brain wash others, twisting the Word to make their point know so they look good?
5. Is this person truly committed to loving and obeying God?
6. Do you have compatibility in spiritual things?
7. Do you have compatibility in natural things?
8. Do you agree on the major doctrines of the Bible “THE GOSPEL OF JESUS”?
9. Do you agree on the church you will attend?
10. Do you agree on how you will spend your time and money?
11. Can you trust this person?
12. Have you ever been given a reason not to trust this person?
13. Have you dealt with the reason of Un-trust in a biblical way?
14. How does he or she handle adversity “problems that are in their life”?
15. Does this person trust God or fall into unbelief regularly when challenges come?
16. Have you ever seen him or her angry?
17. Have you ever seen this person angry with you?
18. Have you ever seen this person angry with another person?
19. Did you resolve the conflict in a biblical way?
20. Was forgiveness asked for and granted or did you try to sweep the issue under the rug?
21. Ladies, does he have a way to provide for you?
22. Is he or she responsible with money?
23. Is he or she a good example, to other people in their life?
24. On what issues do you agree or disagree as a whole about life?
25. Does your prospective mate respect you?
26. Does your prospective mate respect your individuality?
a. Not trying to change you, to what they what you to be?
27. Does your prospective mate listen to you and consult you before making decisions?
28. Is there mutual submission between you and this person?
29. Is your prospective mate truly open to your input in their life and circumstances?
30. Are you truly open to their input in your life and your circumstances?
31. Have you and your prospective mate lovingly resolved conflict?
32. How does your prospective mate treat other people?
33. Does your prospective mate want kids?
34. Have you and your prospective mate talked about kids?
35. How does your prospective mate treat your kids, if you have them?
36. How do your kids, if you have kids, interact with your prospective mate
a. Do your kids approve of your prospective mate?
b. How do you and your kids interact together with your prospective mate, in public and in proved?
c. Can you handle your prospective mate disciplining your kids?
37. Have you dated your prospective mate long enough to know what he or she struggles with every day?
38. Can you live with the areas in your prospective mate's life in which he or she has challenges?
39. Will your prospective mate, as well as you agree to per marriage consoling?
40. Is your prospective mate a giving person?
a. Are they willing to give of themselves and make sacrifices for you?
41. Do you and your prospective mate have effective communication skills?
42. Is your prospective mate your best friend?
43. Can you talk to him or her about any thing?
44. If you, or your prospective mate, have been divorced, is there an understanding of why the divorce took place?
45. Have they had biblical exiting marriage canceling?
46. Do you both agree and feel that the problems before, will now be handle with the Word of God?
47. Do you know if there is a calling of ministry on your mate life?
48. Have you talk about the calling?
49. Do you feel as if you both can walk in agreement, in the calling on his or hers life?
50. How dose the calling on his or hers life help the other mate?
51. Have you both agreed, and willing to walk in the calling of the other mate?
52. Do you know your purpose?
53. Do you pray to gather?
54. Do you pray for each other?
55. Do you study the Word of God together?
56. Where will you live?
57. Can you give up your Independent nature , and really become one with your prospective mate in every area, even if they don’t change from the way they are right now as you know them?

[Minister Yvette]

Wow, good questions. I think you have covered everything. Its very important to discuss everything. Every couple should also seek Pre marital counseling.