Premature Exposure to Marriage Part 2(BEFORE YOU SAY I DO)
WHAT TO LOOK FOR BEFORE YOU SAY I DO
The Bible makes a powerful statement. We read it earlier in Proverbs 18:22 “He that findeth a wife”. In other words, it was not a wife in preparation.
- Not a “want to be” wife.
- Not an unprepared wife.
It was someone who was fully matured for the task.She would have met all the qualifications and specifications of being a wife.
MEN THESE IS WHAT YOU LOOK FOR.This is a virtuous woman.In Proverbs 31:10, the Bible says “Who can find a virtuous woman?”.
It’s the same word phrase used in Proverbs 10, only this time it gives the qualifications of such a woman:
1. She’s trustworthy. (Proverbs 31:11). Marriage is for persons who are trustworthy.
2 She’s industrious – not lazy. (v. 13, 16, 27). She knows how to care for a man and how to feed him.
3. She knows of being clean and tidy. (v. 13)
4.Her self-esteem is intact. (v. 10, 15).Her whole emotional state is in tact.
5. She is hospitable. (v. 15, 22).
6. She comes covered. (v. 22). She knows how to carry herself in etiquette.
7. She is not afraid to make her husband known.She is not embarrassed to make him known.Some are afraid because of behaviour, hygiene, character.
8. She knows of clothing.(v. 25).Strength does not only speak of external. She is a woman of strength. She knows how to give and to receive honour.
9. She speaks with wisdom. When she speaks, it causes you to stand and take heed because of her wisdom.
10. She is committed and responsible.
The reward for this virtuous woman is:
- Her children praise her.
- Her children call her blessed.
- Her husband also praises her – “bigs her up”.
11. She prays for her family. (v. 28-31).
The thing is there are no prerequisites laid out like that for men.
We have men who would find virtuous women and end up destroying and belittleing their value.
- How? We don’t esteem them.
- Always point out their faults making them feel less than a lady.
Let’s look at men of character and integrity.
THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU LOOK FOR LADIES:
1. One who honours his parents. If a man does not honour especially his mother, he cannot honour his wife. A man of character is one who is righteous in his dealings with others.
2.His self-esteem is intact. He knows his worth and is not crippled with emotional garbage.
3. He shows forth leadership skills Not controlling.
4. He loves unconditionally.
5. He must know how to communicate. He must be able to communicate his feelings.
- His fears.
6. He must know how to love which brings binding .
7.He is not selfish (Phil 2:3). It’s not about pleasing himself.
8. He must be a priest, prophet and king now or he is immature for marriage.
9. He must not be given to alcohol and abusive (Col. 3:12-15).
10. He must be clothed with compassion, practice kindness. He must be willing always to give not expecting to get.
11. He must be known for humbleness of mind. Always ready and willing to esteem others above himself.
12. He must be able to take care – showing he too must be industrious (1 Timothy 5:1-10)
- The Bible says if he can’t take care of family spiritually, emotionally, he is worse than an infidel.
- He is a parasite.
Satan hates marriage. It provokes him to bring confusion, misunderstanding and separation.
- That’s the reason for confusion, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, provocation and vexation in marriage.
- The reason for divorce and separation.
Scripture tells us why Satan is against marriage:
Heb 13:4 - Marriage brings honour to God. Satan desires disgrace.
Prov 18:22.- He doesn’t want us to obtain God’s favour and blessing and prosperity and protection.
Ecc 4:9.- Two are better than one.
- He doesn’t want you united in agreement and prayer because he knows nothing would (shall) be impossible to you.
- This is a serious threat to his kingdom so he looks for ways to bring disagreement.
Mal 2:15. - He doesn’t want Godly offspring from you to perpetuate the covenant of God. He prefers illegitimate children (bastards).
Matt. 16:18. - Where two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst and the devil cannot stand it.
Marriage makes you whole.
It does not mean you are not whole before marriage.
- It is through marriage that you legitimately fulfil God’s command to be fruitful and multiply.
- Marriage is good and can make you happy and fulfilled. Ecclesiastes 4:10
The devil wants you to work alone, so that when you fall, no one is there to encourage you or lift you up.He brings confusion that you mistreat each other and then man’s prayers are hindered.His most powerful weapon against the children of God is premature exposure.
- He does not fight marriage after the wedding but uses the subtle and dangerous weapon of premature exposure.
- He fights long before when we are children so that it becomes more difficult for us to have a fulfilled marriage.
Moral authority, purity and fidelity are strong defence weapons to securing any marriage.
- Sex before or sex outside of marriage is one of his most powerful weapons used in premature exposure.
If you claim to be a virgin, you are teased.Called names.Picked on.Pressured, subtlety and craftily – directly and indirectlyYou are made to feel you are missing out on something.But rather fidelity, chastity and purity are the greatest presents you can give you spouse after the ceremony of marriage.
Premature Exposure to Marriage BY Dr. ANTHONY YARDE
The Bible makes a powerful statement. We read it earlier in Proverbs 18:22 “He that findeth a wife”. In other words, it was not a wife in preparation.
- Not a “want to be” wife.
- Not an unprepared wife.
It was someone who was fully matured for the task.She would have met all the qualifications and specifications of being a wife.
MEN THESE IS WHAT YOU LOOK FOR.This is a virtuous woman.In Proverbs 31:10, the Bible says “Who can find a virtuous woman?”.
It’s the same word phrase used in Proverbs 10, only this time it gives the qualifications of such a woman:
1. She’s trustworthy. (Proverbs 31:11). Marriage is for persons who are trustworthy.
2 She’s industrious – not lazy. (v. 13, 16, 27). She knows how to care for a man and how to feed him.
3. She knows of being clean and tidy. (v. 13)
4.Her self-esteem is intact. (v. 10, 15).Her whole emotional state is in tact.
5. She is hospitable. (v. 15, 22).
6. She comes covered. (v. 22). She knows how to carry herself in etiquette.
7. She is not afraid to make her husband known.She is not embarrassed to make him known.Some are afraid because of behaviour, hygiene, character.
8. She knows of clothing.(v. 25).Strength does not only speak of external. She is a woman of strength. She knows how to give and to receive honour.
9. She speaks with wisdom. When she speaks, it causes you to stand and take heed because of her wisdom.
10. She is committed and responsible.
The reward for this virtuous woman is:
- Her children praise her.
- Her children call her blessed.
- Her husband also praises her – “bigs her up”.
11. She prays for her family. (v. 28-31).
The thing is there are no prerequisites laid out like that for men.
We have men who would find virtuous women and end up destroying and belittleing their value.
- How? We don’t esteem them.
- Always point out their faults making them feel less than a lady.
Let’s look at men of character and integrity.
THESE ARE THE THINGS YOU LOOK FOR LADIES:
1. One who honours his parents. If a man does not honour especially his mother, he cannot honour his wife. A man of character is one who is righteous in his dealings with others.
2.His self-esteem is intact. He knows his worth and is not crippled with emotional garbage.
3. He shows forth leadership skills Not controlling.
4. He loves unconditionally.
5. He must know how to communicate. He must be able to communicate his feelings.
- His fears.
6. He must know how to love which brings binding .
7.He is not selfish (Phil 2:3). It’s not about pleasing himself.
8. He must be a priest, prophet and king now or he is immature for marriage.
9. He must not be given to alcohol and abusive (Col. 3:12-15).
10. He must be clothed with compassion, practice kindness. He must be willing always to give not expecting to get.
11. He must be known for humbleness of mind. Always ready and willing to esteem others above himself.
12. He must be able to take care – showing he too must be industrious (1 Timothy 5:1-10)
- The Bible says if he can’t take care of family spiritually, emotionally, he is worse than an infidel.
- He is a parasite.
Satan hates marriage. It provokes him to bring confusion, misunderstanding and separation.
- That’s the reason for confusion, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, provocation and vexation in marriage.
- The reason for divorce and separation.
Scripture tells us why Satan is against marriage:
Heb 13:4 - Marriage brings honour to God. Satan desires disgrace.
Prov 18:22.- He doesn’t want us to obtain God’s favour and blessing and prosperity and protection.
Ecc 4:9.- Two are better than one.
- He doesn’t want you united in agreement and prayer because he knows nothing would (shall) be impossible to you.
- This is a serious threat to his kingdom so he looks for ways to bring disagreement.
Mal 2:15. - He doesn’t want Godly offspring from you to perpetuate the covenant of God. He prefers illegitimate children (bastards).
Matt. 16:18. - Where two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst and the devil cannot stand it.
Marriage makes you whole.
It does not mean you are not whole before marriage.
- It is through marriage that you legitimately fulfil God’s command to be fruitful and multiply.
- Marriage is good and can make you happy and fulfilled. Ecclesiastes 4:10
The devil wants you to work alone, so that when you fall, no one is there to encourage you or lift you up.He brings confusion that you mistreat each other and then man’s prayers are hindered.His most powerful weapon against the children of God is premature exposure.
- He does not fight marriage after the wedding but uses the subtle and dangerous weapon of premature exposure.
- He fights long before when we are children so that it becomes more difficult for us to have a fulfilled marriage.
Moral authority, purity and fidelity are strong defence weapons to securing any marriage.
- Sex before or sex outside of marriage is one of his most powerful weapons used in premature exposure.
If you claim to be a virgin, you are teased.Called names.Picked on.Pressured, subtlety and craftily – directly and indirectlyYou are made to feel you are missing out on something.But rather fidelity, chastity and purity are the greatest presents you can give you spouse after the ceremony of marriage.
Premature Exposure to Marriage BY Dr. ANTHONY YARDE
Comment
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Comment by Apostle Deborah Anderson on June 11, 2009 at 10:38am
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Thanks Apostle Yarde for your bringing of this discussion, as well as the other blogs you've posted. The criteria you've recommended for seeking, finding, and examining the character of potential wives and husbands for marriage are biblically sound and excellent. Ms. Pitts and Pastor Benton both summed it up in God being the ultimate source of joining two in marriage. Pastor Benton, I'm seeking the Kingdom first! God bless all of you.
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Comment by PASTOR JEROME BENTON on June 11, 2009 at 10:09am
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There will never be a problem with looking searching or seeking long as those who our looking male or female know how to look. why look for a treasure in the wrong place? know qualification how to tell gold from fake.if seek ye first the kingdom of god and all these other things shall be add. if you really get the kingdom these things shall be added.keep your emotions in check while seeking mate so you make quality decision and not quanity.quality is what you want quanity is number of relationships you didnt want. and this is befor you say I DO.
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Comment by Ms. Pitts on June 11, 2009 at 7:35am
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Apostle D. to God be the glory! Awesome 'woman of God!!!!!!!
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Excellent point Ms. Pitts! Key words for the misinterpretation: "MAN'S DOCTRINE"! Good job Sister!
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I oftentimes "hear: a lot of preachers preach from the scripture quoting this very scripture "who can find an virtuous woman" right? But in the same book which is noted the 'poetical' books states in Proverbs "20:6.....who can find a faithful man" right? Tell me why is one scripture so strongly encouraged and not the whole roll?
Just curious. But from the very beginning of man's existence right? God put Adam to sleep and "brought" Eve to Adam. So man's doctrine teacher's of that one plain scripture stating whosoever findeth a wife, findeth a good thang, right and if a woman "looks' in pursuit of a better half, she is noted as being hot in the flesh. When the bible never once stated nor said it was a sin for her to look for her mate. But "man's doctrine, feed off partial to support whatever it is he or she is trying to gender up........
Remember God brought Adam to Eve, he never found her.
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