Pulpit Pimps in the Body of Christ
The Pimps’s Top Ten Favorite Knee Jerk Reactions (KJRs)
As you know, if you criticize one of the pulpit pimps, the sycophantic sheeple will respond with one of many knee jerk reactions (aka KJRs). The Pulpit Pimps love the KRJs. Of course, as is the case with most things, the pimps value some KJRs more than others.
For your consideration, I’ve ranked the top ten KJRs. And though the ranking is as I say it is, because I am a kind benevolent dictator, I’ve also provided you with the reasons I ranked the KJRs in the positions they have.
Number 10: He/she has an anointed ministry – This is a somewhat generic KJR. It’s the one every pimp and proto-pimp has to get before he or she can move to the next level. You don’t have to dress especially well and you don’t have to be particularly good looking. Number 10 provides that initial veneer you need to start on your way.
Number 9: You’re just jealous of what God is doing in his life – This KJR allows the sycophant to shut down criticism by attacking the messenger. However, it doesn’t work very well if the critic is actually sure of what he or she is saying or if the sycophant suffers from some bit of jealousy himself.
Number 8: You don’t want the man of God to scrimp like us do you? – This particular KJR is effective in blinding the average sycophant to the luxurious lifestyle led by the pimp. Unfortunately, it’s somewhat passive in nature, causing the members of the congregation to be willing to stay where they are financially. It doesn’t do enough to encourage the average congregant to give a bunch of money, even if they have to use a credit card to give.
Number 7: Don’t be a hater – This KJR makes the defender feel good about himself. He can convince himself that he, unlike the critic, is loving and caring. It allows the sycophant to ignore whatever the critic is saying because obviously the critic is not spiritual, not if he is a hater.
Number 6: Abraham, David, and Solomon were rich – Though in the bottom half of the pimps’ favorites, it is still an effective way to begin to instill the love of money and riches in the congregation. Once they convince themselves they SHOULD be rich, the congregation will be more willing to do whatever the pimps says will make them rich. Those things almost always include giving the pimp money.
Number 5: Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm – For instilling plain old fear and shutting down critical thinking, there is no better line. Once the people believe there is something special about the pimp, and once they begin to believe that treating the pimp with a great deal of deference is essential to their own well being, all arguments, disagreements and discussions go way down.
Number 4: You don’t have the right to judge – This KJR allows the sycophant to not only shut down criticism of the pimp, it lets him shut down criticism of the defender as well. Armed with this, the average sycophant is able to not only defend the pimp, but is able to heap tons of condemnation on the critic.
Number 3: God’s obviously blessing him. Look at the size of the church and the size of the congregation - This is one of the top KJRs. It is virtually a self fulfilling reaction. The better the pimp does, the truer the KJR rings. The more extreme the wealth of the pimp, the more stuff he or she has, the more this KJR works.
Number 2: We shouldn’t cause division – No one wants to be a divider. Most of us just want to get along. This KJR not only takes advantage of this desire on the part of folks, it completely silences disagreement. This KJR allows the sycophant to appeal to the Body of Christ and allows them to really look spiritual. All the while, the pimp is free to continue his vile activities within the Body.
And pimps’ number one, all time favorite knee jerk reaction by the sheeple to criticism of their pimp is:
I just want to know Jesus – This is the pimps’ all time favorite KJR. This KJR accomplishes several things. First, it keeps the Christian stupid. Doctrine? I don’t need no steenkin’ doctrine! I just want to know Jesus. As a result, the pimp can say whatever he wants and can do whatever he wants. The sycophant will always be too stupid to be able to resist the efforts of the pimps to take them to the cleaners.
While keeping the sycophant stupid, it also keeps them feeling really religious. After all, they just want Jesus right? They want the pure religion, undefiled by petty human reasoning. After all, there is a way that seems right to man…but I just want to know Jesus. In reality, the victims are a bunch of lazy sheep, looking for good feelings and a thrill up their leg. And the pimp is more than happy to keep the sycophants exactly where they are.
Posted by Melvin Jones on Sunday, March 15th, 2009 at 5:38 pm.
As you know, if you criticize one of the pulpit pimps, the sycophantic sheeple will respond with one of many knee jerk reactions (aka KJRs). The Pulpit Pimps love the KRJs. Of course, as is the case with most things, the pimps value some KJRs more than others.
For your consideration, I’ve ranked the top ten KJRs. And though the ranking is as I say it is, because I am a kind benevolent dictator, I’ve also provided you with the reasons I ranked the KJRs in the positions they have.
Number 10: He/she has an anointed ministry – This is a somewhat generic KJR. It’s the one every pimp and proto-pimp has to get before he or she can move to the next level. You don’t have to dress especially well and you don’t have to be particularly good looking. Number 10 provides that initial veneer you need to start on your way.
Number 9: You’re just jealous of what God is doing in his life – This KJR allows the sycophant to shut down criticism by attacking the messenger. However, it doesn’t work very well if the critic is actually sure of what he or she is saying or if the sycophant suffers from some bit of jealousy himself.
Number 8: You don’t want the man of God to scrimp like us do you? – This particular KJR is effective in blinding the average sycophant to the luxurious lifestyle led by the pimp. Unfortunately, it’s somewhat passive in nature, causing the members of the congregation to be willing to stay where they are financially. It doesn’t do enough to encourage the average congregant to give a bunch of money, even if they have to use a credit card to give.
Number 7: Don’t be a hater – This KJR makes the defender feel good about himself. He can convince himself that he, unlike the critic, is loving and caring. It allows the sycophant to ignore whatever the critic is saying because obviously the critic is not spiritual, not if he is a hater.
Number 6: Abraham, David, and Solomon were rich – Though in the bottom half of the pimps’ favorites, it is still an effective way to begin to instill the love of money and riches in the congregation. Once they convince themselves they SHOULD be rich, the congregation will be more willing to do whatever the pimps says will make them rich. Those things almost always include giving the pimp money.
Number 5: Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm – For instilling plain old fear and shutting down critical thinking, there is no better line. Once the people believe there is something special about the pimp, and once they begin to believe that treating the pimp with a great deal of deference is essential to their own well being, all arguments, disagreements and discussions go way down.
Number 4: You don’t have the right to judge – This KJR allows the sycophant to not only shut down criticism of the pimp, it lets him shut down criticism of the defender as well. Armed with this, the average sycophant is able to not only defend the pimp, but is able to heap tons of condemnation on the critic.
Number 3: God’s obviously blessing him. Look at the size of the church and the size of the congregation - This is one of the top KJRs. It is virtually a self fulfilling reaction. The better the pimp does, the truer the KJR rings. The more extreme the wealth of the pimp, the more stuff he or she has, the more this KJR works.
Number 2: We shouldn’t cause division – No one wants to be a divider. Most of us just want to get along. This KJR not only takes advantage of this desire on the part of folks, it completely silences disagreement. This KJR allows the sycophant to appeal to the Body of Christ and allows them to really look spiritual. All the while, the pimp is free to continue his vile activities within the Body.
And pimps’ number one, all time favorite knee jerk reaction by the sheeple to criticism of their pimp is:
I just want to know Jesus – This is the pimps’ all time favorite KJR. This KJR accomplishes several things. First, it keeps the Christian stupid. Doctrine? I don’t need no steenkin’ doctrine! I just want to know Jesus. As a result, the pimp can say whatever he wants and can do whatever he wants. The sycophant will always be too stupid to be able to resist the efforts of the pimps to take them to the cleaners.
While keeping the sycophant stupid, it also keeps them feeling really religious. After all, they just want Jesus right? They want the pure religion, undefiled by petty human reasoning. After all, there is a way that seems right to man…but I just want to know Jesus. In reality, the victims are a bunch of lazy sheep, looking for good feelings and a thrill up their leg. And the pimp is more than happy to keep the sycophants exactly where they are.
Posted by Melvin Jones on Sunday, March 15th, 2009 at 5:38 pm.
Comment
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Comment by michelle on January 6, 2010 at 8:51pm
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Thanks for having the courage to call this out.
and it goes for the Pimpettes too!
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