SPOUSE ABUSE
Spouse abuse happens in all kinds of relationships. Husbands abuse wives and wives abuse husbands. Homosexual relationships are not an exception. Race does not make a difference. Income does not protect people from spouse abuse. Well-educated people can abuse and can be abused.
The most common form of spouse abuse is violence by men against women. Almost half of all women murdered in this country are killed by their husbands or boyfriends. Nearly 4 thousand die each year. In the United States, a man beats a woman every 15 seconds.
Abusers tend to follow the same pattern. Someone is unlikely to beat someone up on the first date. Most abusers are very nice at first. Then they start to seem a little too jealous. They may start putting the person down when they talk. Often the victim starts feeling worthless. Eventually, the violence begins. By that time, abused victims may feel like they deserve the abuse, or may blame themselves.
Many abusers feel guilty after the abuse. They may be very loving after it is over. They may promise that it will never happen again. But sooner or later, it will. Abusers almost always blame the victim. "It's your fault," they say. If only you would not do this or that, they would not have to hit you. Remember, it is never, ever, okay to hit another person, unless you are defending yourself from a physical attack. It does not matter what you say or do, no one has the right to hit you.
Abusive people generally learn these habits when they are young. They usually come from families where someone hit someone else. Alcohol is involved in many cases of spouse abuse. People under the influence of drugs and alcohol cannot think clearly. This does not mean that they are not responsible for their actions. It means that they need to work on their problems with drugs or alcohol as well as their problems with violence.
The more dependent you are on the abuser, emotionally or financially, the more difficult it may be to leave. Many abusers take advantage of this. Studies have shown that pregnant women may be at a higher risk for abuse. Many women feel they cannot leave an abusive boyfriend or an abusive husband because they are afraid he will hurt or kill them. But the chances of being killed are greater if they stay with an abusive partner than if they leave.
If someone hits you, even once, you need to take it very seriously. Do not let shame stop you from getting help. Do not put up with any kind of abuse. You do not deserve it. No one does.
The most common form of spouse abuse is violence by men against women. Almost half of all women murdered in this country are killed by their husbands or boyfriends. Nearly 4 thousand die each year. In the United States, a man beats a woman every 15 seconds.
Abusers tend to follow the same pattern. Someone is unlikely to beat someone up on the first date. Most abusers are very nice at first. Then they start to seem a little too jealous. They may start putting the person down when they talk. Often the victim starts feeling worthless. Eventually, the violence begins. By that time, abused victims may feel like they deserve the abuse, or may blame themselves.
Many abusers feel guilty after the abuse. They may be very loving after it is over. They may promise that it will never happen again. But sooner or later, it will. Abusers almost always blame the victim. "It's your fault," they say. If only you would not do this or that, they would not have to hit you. Remember, it is never, ever, okay to hit another person, unless you are defending yourself from a physical attack. It does not matter what you say or do, no one has the right to hit you.
Abusive people generally learn these habits when they are young. They usually come from families where someone hit someone else. Alcohol is involved in many cases of spouse abuse. People under the influence of drugs and alcohol cannot think clearly. This does not mean that they are not responsible for their actions. It means that they need to work on their problems with drugs or alcohol as well as their problems with violence.
The more dependent you are on the abuser, emotionally or financially, the more difficult it may be to leave. Many abusers take advantage of this. Studies have shown that pregnant women may be at a higher risk for abuse. Many women feel they cannot leave an abusive boyfriend or an abusive husband because they are afraid he will hurt or kill them. But the chances of being killed are greater if they stay with an abusive partner than if they leave.
If someone hits you, even once, you need to take it very seriously. Do not let shame stop you from getting help. Do not put up with any kind of abuse. You do not deserve it. No one does.
Comment
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Comment by Sound of Judah Faith Ministry on July 22, 2009 at 2:30am
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Apostle,
The comments above are regarding a woman I meant over twenty years ago when as a younger woman in the body of Christ. At that time the pastor I received Christ did deal with the issue. He was a tremendous blessing to this woman. I was merely sharing an instant recall of a past scenario I witnessed as a young single woman. I do believe that ordeal is one reason I waited so long before I got married. As a younger woman I saw many things occur in the body of Christ. It is also good to know at that time my pastor and father in the gospel dealt with this issue appropriately. My comment was to share spousal abuse is still a current universal issue in the body of Christ. Forgive me if my comment was not clear. We do have conferences in the USA regarding these issues all of the time. Many apostles, bishops and pastors deal with these issues just as you do in your region. Unfortunately all of us as ministers can only deal with issues as the people reveal them to us or the Holy Spirit reveals it to us. Continual prayer and fasting is important to keep revelation alive in our hearts when praying for the people of God.
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Comment by Apostle Anthony Yarde on July 22, 2009 at 12:42am
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That is not as hard to deal with as it sound if you can have the lady call or e-mail my office. This is why we need this conference on HURT AND ABUSE. I deal with hurt and abuse daily.We pastor are playing with God Kids and He is not please the way we do church. We have conferences for all kind of things.
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There is also evidence of spousal abuse in marriages where the husbands are pastors, bishops, apostles etc. A friend shared with me a difficult time when attending a conference out of state. She happened to run into a well renoun 1st lady whose husband, she stated is a well known bishop and televangelist. Apparently, this woman experiences constant physical abuse and is terrified to leave or to stay. How do you deal with such cases in the body of Christ. The world is a male dominating world and in most cases so is the church. Abused women are usually hesitant to speak out for the fear no one will believe them. I personally knew of a sister many years ago who married an unsaved man. He beat her, abused her, abused their children so that she committed suicide. Now his sons are also abusive and this man is still living. This is an issue rarely discussed in the church.
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I would talk to that person and help them with all I have out of love and care.
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Comment by Eric Hancock on July 18, 2009 at 4:26pm
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If someone on this web page was Experiencing abuse what would you say to someone who may invovled and scared to report it...
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