Steward?

[Stuart]

I am not shaken! I am on a firm foundation, a big rock!

A lot of things have happened to me especially in the just ended year.

Whoever does not know what hardships are, will meet me and we talk, some day.

Homelessness, Rain pouring down, Joblessness, a lot of responsibilities(People to care for,without means), a ministry to run-without enough capability, Ridicule, Being Forsaken, Friends losing trust in you, Failing to move as planned,...I mean failing over and over again almost in everything!...

Many people will link suffering to many different things-their thoughts and perceptions, myths, theories,experiences,etc.

Somebody told me that I am strong. She does not know what I pass through, and I have never shared with her any personal stories but she has seen me for a month now.

Well, I am not as strong as she thought, BUT I believe in one strong, there's no other strong as He is, Halleluyah!

I have been diligently seeking the Lord especially since I knew that all I want is HE.

I have always sought the Lord before any other thoughts or trials, I am a man that depends on Him. You can remember that beginning of last year I had to leave a job that was compromising my stand as a follower, not of what men teach, but of the small soft voice, of God's spirit.

I have always wanted more of God, and His spirit in my life.To direct and to control. anything getting to my nuts loses me, because I am taken up, fully occupied!

I Want to be like Jesus. I am God's humble servant, never self seeking, or any thoughts of selfish gains. God must always be smiling when I seek justice by doing it first.

I am one that knows my judge, and my lord.

I will keep on seeking the Lord, the truth; for He sets me free indeed.

I found myself with a lot of debts as last year started, and God cleared them all, after trusting Him, and leaving the compromising job. Though because of the natural fact that with all my responsibilities9Out of this big heart) and with no income and from a very poor family-where no one can help me; except me helping almost everyone-expected, I found myself in debts again.

These are debts that come, because I am alive. Rent for a room, as long as my siblings have to sleep inside, or even I, whenever I have a room to sleep in; is automatic debt at end of a month....EVEN if I eat nothing!

So many more...along such a line of basic needs. I don't know luxuries yet.

It gives me no peace in my suffering, to fail to pay a debt, when I am keeping some money in my pocket. So, You will always find, any money I get has to pay at least part of any debt before I can think about myself; I don't measure that equivalent to sin.

Only LOGIC, I have to know what the Lord has brought the money for, and that I do. Whether I have suffered deepest to my bone to earn it, or got it simply, I ask God, how he wants me to use it.

Same way, I always want to use my skills, energy and all I have for his glory, and according to His purpose, His will.

Someone may always ask him/herself why "I do this or that, or this and that; or fail to do what or what"

It's because someone is above in control of me. I gave myself up, to  maximum utilize all I am.

May be, That's why God inspired my parents to name me STEWARD!

When I was at a conference at the end of the year, I felt a big move in my life, I will need to just keep in position, Miracles will happen if God allows.

He is the same always, and he is still able.

What He does, is HIS will.

As we pray, we just need to wait upon his answers, without wavering~!

He is faithful and Just,

Trust Him,

Yours

STUART