Why Do You Love?..
Why Do You Love?..
As a young man of 26 years, I've had a lot of memories, regrets, trials and triumphs that make me look back over my life and see that God is great. And when I was in my time machine I started to ponder over one main factor of my life…….love. Not just the as far as relationships go but also in regards to things I loved, people I loved, foods I loved and etc…and through that reflection I realized few key questions, (1) What/Who did I love?, (2) Why did I love those things, and the ultimate question (3) What is the meaning of love and why is it so easy to attach it to situations. Now being saved, I know that the Bible calls us to many forms of love and so I was led to study the meanings of the word love. Many times we sit in church services and we always hear the reference made to we have to have that AGAPE love, but many a times we young people hear it and use it without really knowing what it means, and upon study of that word it opened up an entire world of knowledge to me that helped me understand some important factors that us as young people need to know. First when you think about the Bible, it's original language was not modern day English but the Old Testament was in Hebrew and Aramaic (the language you heard them talking in Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ movie), and the New Testament was written in Greek. Now when you hear the word AGAPE that came from the commonly used word for love at that time which was AGAPAO/AGAPE, but throughout the Bible there were many different words that were used to describe the word love, but for this topic I'm only going to go over two of them. The AGAPE we always hear about and PHILEO which we get our word ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Philadelphia from which we have come to know as "the city of brotherly love". AGAPE is described as in the Strong's Concordance is 'of persons to welcome, to entertain to be fond of, to love dearly of things to be well pleased, to be contented at or with a thing'. PHILEO is described as 'to love to approve of to like, sanction to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend to show signs of love to kiss to be fond of doing be wont, use to do'. Basically when you break those two definitions down along with scriptural background references we realize that in our common language we use love for everything, but we must realize the difference in context. (example: we do not love our enemy in the same way in which a man is to love his wife) You can also see AGAPE and PHILEO like this........
-AGAPE is a:
Unconditional Love (Anywhere from niceness to self-sacrificing)
-Sacrificial Love = The love that sacrifices oneself for another, the love that gives of oneself.
-(Example: John 3:16, Romans 5:8)
-Fellowship Love = Fellow Christians are to be known for their love for one another. We are to do good to all, but fellow believers are a priority. We have the Lord in common, and his love binds us together. Incidentally, it is this type of love which is addressed in the famous "love" chapter, I Corinthians 13.
-(Example: 1 John 2:10,16-18, Galatians 6:10)
-Concerned Love = The Bible commands us to love our neighbor, as illustrated in the parable of the Good Samaritan, rather than pass by, we show a level of care.
-(Example: Luke 10:36-37)
-Love of Duty = This command tells us to obey the Golden Rule even for those we do not get along with, those who have wronged us. Love in this case is certainly not a feeling, though in all of the above with the exception of loving our neighbor, perhaps feelings are involved. In reality, loving our enemy is a love in contradiction to our feelings. It isn't always easy to love others, but God demands nothing less. And we would be wise to make it easier for others to love us.
-(Example: Matthew 5:44, Matthew 7:9)
-PHILEO is a:
Brotherly Love (Used Sparingly)
-Blending Love = When two lovingly function as one.
-(Example: Ephesians 5:25-28, Titus 2:4)
-Bonding Love = The parent-child love and affection that is like a mother caring for her little children. The parent-child bond should change as the child matures; though it changes form it can remain deep. At marriage, a child is to leave the authority of his or her parents and form a new family.
-(Example: 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)
-Supporting Love = The love between siblings, a love of reliance.
-(Example: Proverbs 17:17)
-Love of Comradery (Friendship) = The love of a close friend that brings it to an experience of a brother, David and Jonathan were unique in this regard because they exemplified an intense form of this, which many people sadly never experience.
-(Example: 1 Samuel 18:1)
We see that the two forms of the word in the Bible brings us to an important thing... love is not a word that you can just throw around lightly, that's why we come to another scripture that helps us illuminate theses two meanings which is the commonly known passage of Jesus asking Peter how much he loves him (John 21:15-17). Jesus asks Peter three times "Do You Love Me" And Peter replies to him saying "Yes Lord You Know That I Love You". In the Greek, Peter replies back to Jesus all three times using PHILEO, but Jesus for his first two times uses AGAPE and on the third time he uses PHILEO, and when you look at this, Jesus first asks him in the two times using AGAPE for unconditional love but on the third time he asks him using PHILEO to show his brotherly love and Peter answers all times with PHILEO to show that his love is stronger than just a duty, but he loves him as a brother and has tremendous feelings for him. That brings me back to the original question in the title...Why Do You Love? When we look at Peter we see that he has put feelings behind his love, but for everything that you say you love, do you have feelings for it? The things that you say you love, do you love them out of obligation or do you actually like them? Looking at my own life, I realized that I loved a lot of things, but a lot of it was because I had to or because at one point in time I was convinced that I liked them, but there were few things and people that I loved that I could honestly say that I liked them as well as loved them...that's the key, do you just love or do you like before you love? You can love anything, but can you like everything? Are you likable? The Bible has much to say about liking and being likable. Jesus, it is said in Luke 2:52, grew in "favor with God and men." Put simply, the Father and people liked Him. Late in life, as Christ proclaimed the truth, truth-haters became His enemy. But it was truth, not His character, that created the antagonism. He was a likable man. The Bible also commands us to love our enemies, but we do not have to like them. In that instance, loving them means to treat them in a loving way (do unto others as you would have them do unto you). But to those we wish to be close to, it is great to not only love them, but to also like them. This simple dynamic is being lost in all the "love talk" common in our churches today. Indeed, friendship, especially close friendship, best occurs when individuals like one another. You can love an acquaintance and have a ministry with that person, but being a friend requires liking. In addition, the most satisfying friendships are between people roughly equal in intelligence, ability, etc., though gifted perhaps in differing ways. But they must like one another. We are commanded to love others, but we are not commanded to like others. Liking cannot be willed, loving can. David and Jonathan liked one another. Their special brotherly love was intensified by their enjoyment, their liking of one another. Jesus and John the Apostle had a special friendship as well because there was a certain chemistry present. Ruth and Naomi had a special love for one another, but one senses they also liked each other. Indeed, some Bible scholars are now gravitating toward an emphasis on brotherly love (the Greek word PHILEO) because affection and attachment are implied in it, as well as the concept of liking, versus AGAPE (the common Greek word for love), which is more the love of duty. You can AGAPE your enemies, but we are nowhere commanded to PHILEO them. PHILEO is reserved for those with whom we cultivate a relationship. This bit of wisdom applies to relationships and marriage (and why they often go awry or wrong). It is great to actually LIKE the person you are married to or in a relationship with. And part of being a good significant other is the determination to work at becoming likable. So now you may ask so what are the differences between liking and loving, well Webster's dictionary can answer that for us. Love is described as (1) strong affection for another person, especially, of the opposite sex, (2) an object of affection, (3) any strong liking or affection, (4) have love, affection, or liking for. Now for us to go a little bit deeper we have to point out some words that make love what it is, which are AFFECT and INFLUENCE/IMPRESS. Affect is described as (1) produce an effect or change on; influence, (2) Impress deeply, (3) make a show of; feign; imitate; adopt; assume the character of, (4) feeling; emotion, Influence is (1) power to control or affect others by authority, persuasion, example, convincing, etc., (2) a person or thing that exerts such power-exercise influence on, Impress is (1) affect deeply as to mind or feelings, (2) fix firmly in the mind (3) seize for public use: force into service. Now you're probably like, Minister...why are you giving so many definitions and breakdowns lol (laugh out loud), I've done enough Grammar in school?…(lol) Just think how is for me to have to write this...but when we dig deeper into meanings it gives a clearer understanding into our own being and helps us to understand ourselves a lot better. Based on the definition of 'love' we see that with love you can be persuaded or convinced or influenced to love or to even imitate love. In fact even to the point that love can be forced upon you and even willed on you, where the urge to love is so strong that even if you didn't want to love because of that urge you have changed your mind and now you do love. So now we take a look at the word Like. 'Like' is described as "regard with favor; be pleased with, feel affection toward; enjoy, feel inclined; wish; choose". So when we look at 'like' we notice that with like the main words that pop out are "pleased" and "enjoy". Now it is safe to say after careful breakdown is that something you like is something you are pleased with and enjoy, and to be likable means to be someone who people are pleased with and enjoy interacting with. There are basically two elements to becoming likable, or "finding favor in the sight of God and men." These elements are: kindness (love, consideration, gentleness) and truth (honesty, faithfulness, dependability). If we are only kind but not truthful, we are nothing more than people pleasers. If we are truthful but not kind, we are harsh moralist or perfectionist snobs. When mixing kindness and truth, a person may choose to say nothing. Because something is true does not mean they must state it. And how it is said, how it is perceived will be taken into account. Are you know for being considerate? Do you stretch and manipulate the truth, or are you merely tactful in kindness? Are you concerned about how you are perceived? You ought to be. Kindness demands it. Out of love and concern, we may need to force ourselves to be initiators If you want to have friends you must yourself be friendly. That's why it is so easy to say we love, like for instance, I love fried chicken...Do you have feelings for the fried chicken, do you wish to marry it? I love fried chicken because as a kid that's what was given to me and because of the taste and flavor I was convinced and impressed and because of that influence I grew to love chicken, now as young adult I like chicken as well as love it because I myself have learned to prepare it and have put work and time into it and so because I'm pleased with and enjoy my particular recipe and other recipes for chicken and can now say both. The same works for our relationships, we must make liking someone an important part of our love for them, because if you want love to last you first must have liking in your life, because if you are in a relationship with a significant other or a husband or wife, you just don't want to love each other and marry and get tired of each other, and then want to marry someone else. Love is important. But so is likeability. Do you like your significant other? Do they like you? Do you like your children, if you have any? Do they like you? Do you like your family? Do they like you? What about your church family? Your neighbor? If you care, you'll be considerate. It's not enough just to do your duty. You must be concerned about how you come across. Find the balance of kindness and truth! Here's the challenge. Think about what it must be like to be married to you. Or what it is like to live with you. Or what it is like to work alongside you. Or how you are perceived by others. What behaviors and attitudes do you have that make you unattractive to those who are close to you? Are they matters of truth, or self-centeredness? Are you kind? Are you sincere and honest, even when uncomfortable. Then seek to correct those faults. Bring them into conformity with the dual concepts of kindness and truth. Begin at home. Trust me, I've done it myself, once you do it, your life will open up tremendously before and you will come out a better you, for yourself and for all those around you. And the you will be able to answer the questions with confidence and assurance...(1) What/Who did I love?, (2) Why did I love those things, and the ultimate question (3) What is the meaning of love and why is it so easy to attach it to situations. and most and foremost....Why Do I Love.
I'm Outie 500!
As a young man of 26 years, I've had a lot of memories, regrets, trials and triumphs that make me look back over my life and see that God is great. And when I was in my time machine I started to ponder over one main factor of my life…….love. Not just the as far as relationships go but also in regards to things I loved, people I loved, foods I loved and etc…and through that reflection I realized few key questions, (1) What/Who did I love?, (2) Why did I love those things, and the ultimate question (3) What is the meaning of love and why is it so easy to attach it to situations. Now being saved, I know that the Bible calls us to many forms of love and so I was led to study the meanings of the word love. Many times we sit in church services and we always hear the reference made to we have to have that AGAPE love, but many a times we young people hear it and use it without really knowing what it means, and upon study of that word it opened up an entire world of knowledge to me that helped me understand some important factors that us as young people need to know. First when you think about the Bible, it's original language was not modern day English but the Old Testament was in Hebrew and Aramaic (the language you heard them talking in Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ movie), and the New Testament was written in Greek. Now when you hear the word AGAPE that came from the commonly used word for love at that time which was AGAPAO/AGAPE, but throughout the Bible there were many different words that were used to describe the word love, but for this topic I'm only going to go over two of them. The AGAPE we always hear about and PHILEO which we get our word ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Philadelphia from which we have come to know as "the city of brotherly love". AGAPE is described as in the Strong's Concordance is 'of persons to welcome, to entertain to be fond of, to love dearly of things to be well pleased, to be contented at or with a thing'. PHILEO is described as 'to love to approve of to like, sanction to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend to show signs of love to kiss to be fond of doing be wont, use to do'. Basically when you break those two definitions down along with scriptural background references we realize that in our common language we use love for everything, but we must realize the difference in context. (example: we do not love our enemy in the same way in which a man is to love his wife) You can also see AGAPE and PHILEO like this........
-AGAPE is a:
Unconditional Love (Anywhere from niceness to self-sacrificing)
-Sacrificial Love = The love that sacrifices oneself for another, the love that gives of oneself.
-(Example: John 3:16, Romans 5:8)
-Fellowship Love = Fellow Christians are to be known for their love for one another. We are to do good to all, but fellow believers are a priority. We have the Lord in common, and his love binds us together. Incidentally, it is this type of love which is addressed in the famous "love" chapter, I Corinthians 13.
-(Example: 1 John 2:10,16-18, Galatians 6:10)
-Concerned Love = The Bible commands us to love our neighbor, as illustrated in the parable of the Good Samaritan, rather than pass by, we show a level of care.
-(Example: Luke 10:36-37)
-Love of Duty = This command tells us to obey the Golden Rule even for those we do not get along with, those who have wronged us. Love in this case is certainly not a feeling, though in all of the above with the exception of loving our neighbor, perhaps feelings are involved. In reality, loving our enemy is a love in contradiction to our feelings. It isn't always easy to love others, but God demands nothing less. And we would be wise to make it easier for others to love us.
-(Example: Matthew 5:44, Matthew 7:9)
-PHILEO is a:
Brotherly Love (Used Sparingly)
-Blending Love = When two lovingly function as one.
-(Example: Ephesians 5:25-28, Titus 2:4)
-Bonding Love = The parent-child love and affection that is like a mother caring for her little children. The parent-child bond should change as the child matures; though it changes form it can remain deep. At marriage, a child is to leave the authority of his or her parents and form a new family.
-(Example: 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)
-Supporting Love = The love between siblings, a love of reliance.
-(Example: Proverbs 17:17)
-Love of Comradery (Friendship) = The love of a close friend that brings it to an experience of a brother, David and Jonathan were unique in this regard because they exemplified an intense form of this, which many people sadly never experience.
-(Example: 1 Samuel 18:1)
We see that the two forms of the word in the Bible brings us to an important thing... love is not a word that you can just throw around lightly, that's why we come to another scripture that helps us illuminate theses two meanings which is the commonly known passage of Jesus asking Peter how much he loves him (John 21:15-17). Jesus asks Peter three times "Do You Love Me" And Peter replies to him saying "Yes Lord You Know That I Love You". In the Greek, Peter replies back to Jesus all three times using PHILEO, but Jesus for his first two times uses AGAPE and on the third time he uses PHILEO, and when you look at this, Jesus first asks him in the two times using AGAPE for unconditional love but on the third time he asks him using PHILEO to show his brotherly love and Peter answers all times with PHILEO to show that his love is stronger than just a duty, but he loves him as a brother and has tremendous feelings for him. That brings me back to the original question in the title...Why Do You Love? When we look at Peter we see that he has put feelings behind his love, but for everything that you say you love, do you have feelings for it? The things that you say you love, do you love them out of obligation or do you actually like them? Looking at my own life, I realized that I loved a lot of things, but a lot of it was because I had to or because at one point in time I was convinced that I liked them, but there were few things and people that I loved that I could honestly say that I liked them as well as loved them...that's the key, do you just love or do you like before you love? You can love anything, but can you like everything? Are you likable? The Bible has much to say about liking and being likable. Jesus, it is said in Luke 2:52, grew in "favor with God and men." Put simply, the Father and people liked Him. Late in life, as Christ proclaimed the truth, truth-haters became His enemy. But it was truth, not His character, that created the antagonism. He was a likable man. The Bible also commands us to love our enemies, but we do not have to like them. In that instance, loving them means to treat them in a loving way (do unto others as you would have them do unto you). But to those we wish to be close to, it is great to not only love them, but to also like them. This simple dynamic is being lost in all the "love talk" common in our churches today. Indeed, friendship, especially close friendship, best occurs when individuals like one another. You can love an acquaintance and have a ministry with that person, but being a friend requires liking. In addition, the most satisfying friendships are between people roughly equal in intelligence, ability, etc., though gifted perhaps in differing ways. But they must like one another. We are commanded to love others, but we are not commanded to like others. Liking cannot be willed, loving can. David and Jonathan liked one another. Their special brotherly love was intensified by their enjoyment, their liking of one another. Jesus and John the Apostle had a special friendship as well because there was a certain chemistry present. Ruth and Naomi had a special love for one another, but one senses they also liked each other. Indeed, some Bible scholars are now gravitating toward an emphasis on brotherly love (the Greek word PHILEO) because affection and attachment are implied in it, as well as the concept of liking, versus AGAPE (the common Greek word for love), which is more the love of duty. You can AGAPE your enemies, but we are nowhere commanded to PHILEO them. PHILEO is reserved for those with whom we cultivate a relationship. This bit of wisdom applies to relationships and marriage (and why they often go awry or wrong). It is great to actually LIKE the person you are married to or in a relationship with. And part of being a good significant other is the determination to work at becoming likable. So now you may ask so what are the differences between liking and loving, well Webster's dictionary can answer that for us. Love is described as (1) strong affection for another person, especially, of the opposite sex, (2) an object of affection, (3) any strong liking or affection, (4) have love, affection, or liking for. Now for us to go a little bit deeper we have to point out some words that make love what it is, which are AFFECT and INFLUENCE/IMPRESS. Affect is described as (1) produce an effect or change on; influence, (2) Impress deeply, (3) make a show of; feign; imitate; adopt; assume the character of, (4) feeling; emotion, Influence is (1) power to control or affect others by authority, persuasion, example, convincing, etc., (2) a person or thing that exerts such power-exercise influence on, Impress is (1) affect deeply as to mind or feelings, (2) fix firmly in the mind (3) seize for public use: force into service. Now you're probably like, Minister...why are you giving so many definitions and breakdowns lol (laugh out loud), I've done enough Grammar in school?…(lol) Just think how is for me to have to write this...but when we dig deeper into meanings it gives a clearer understanding into our own being and helps us to understand ourselves a lot better. Based on the definition of 'love' we see that with love you can be persuaded or convinced or influenced to love or to even imitate love. In fact even to the point that love can be forced upon you and even willed on you, where the urge to love is so strong that even if you didn't want to love because of that urge you have changed your mind and now you do love. So now we take a look at the word Like. 'Like' is described as "regard with favor; be pleased with, feel affection toward; enjoy, feel inclined; wish; choose". So when we look at 'like' we notice that with like the main words that pop out are "pleased" and "enjoy". Now it is safe to say after careful breakdown is that something you like is something you are pleased with and enjoy, and to be likable means to be someone who people are pleased with and enjoy interacting with. There are basically two elements to becoming likable, or "finding favor in the sight of God and men." These elements are: kindness (love, consideration, gentleness) and truth (honesty, faithfulness, dependability). If we are only kind but not truthful, we are nothing more than people pleasers. If we are truthful but not kind, we are harsh moralist or perfectionist snobs. When mixing kindness and truth, a person may choose to say nothing. Because something is true does not mean they must state it. And how it is said, how it is perceived will be taken into account. Are you know for being considerate? Do you stretch and manipulate the truth, or are you merely tactful in kindness? Are you concerned about how you are perceived? You ought to be. Kindness demands it. Out of love and concern, we may need to force ourselves to be initiators If you want to have friends you must yourself be friendly. That's why it is so easy to say we love, like for instance, I love fried chicken...Do you have feelings for the fried chicken, do you wish to marry it? I love fried chicken because as a kid that's what was given to me and because of the taste and flavor I was convinced and impressed and because of that influence I grew to love chicken, now as young adult I like chicken as well as love it because I myself have learned to prepare it and have put work and time into it and so because I'm pleased with and enjoy my particular recipe and other recipes for chicken and can now say both. The same works for our relationships, we must make liking someone an important part of our love for them, because if you want love to last you first must have liking in your life, because if you are in a relationship with a significant other or a husband or wife, you just don't want to love each other and marry and get tired of each other, and then want to marry someone else. Love is important. But so is likeability. Do you like your significant other? Do they like you? Do you like your children, if you have any? Do they like you? Do you like your family? Do they like you? What about your church family? Your neighbor? If you care, you'll be considerate. It's not enough just to do your duty. You must be concerned about how you come across. Find the balance of kindness and truth! Here's the challenge. Think about what it must be like to be married to you. Or what it is like to live with you. Or what it is like to work alongside you. Or how you are perceived by others. What behaviors and attitudes do you have that make you unattractive to those who are close to you? Are they matters of truth, or self-centeredness? Are you kind? Are you sincere and honest, even when uncomfortable. Then seek to correct those faults. Bring them into conformity with the dual concepts of kindness and truth. Begin at home. Trust me, I've done it myself, once you do it, your life will open up tremendously before and you will come out a better you, for yourself and for all those around you. And the you will be able to answer the questions with confidence and assurance...(1) What/Who did I love?, (2) Why did I love those things, and the ultimate question (3) What is the meaning of love and why is it so easy to attach it to situations. and most and foremost....Why Do I Love.
I'm Outie 500!
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