So often it seems that life is only made up of things to hurt us. Life has many disappointments for everybody especially the righteous. (Psalms 34:19) All of us have or will be affected by death, illnesses, betrayals, tragedies, and feelings of worthlessness and despair. Sometimes life can seem so very hard and unfair, and so many times we tend to wallow in pools of self-pity.

I believe that our time here on earth gives us the opportunity to grow spiritually. We can experience great personal growth because of all the suffering we go through. It is God's way of fine-tuning us so we become more compassionate, more caring, more loving, and more aware of others' pain. After all, how could we ever dry the tears of others if we had never cried ourselves?

I had to learn this the hard way. I was brought up in a Pentecostal Church. A third generation believer who believed that if I lived right, according to the Holy Scriptures, then "I could have what I say I can have" and I didn't have to worry about troubles. I was a good little girl and a great woman of faith. One day, in my endeavor to be all that God wanted me to be I said "YES" to His will. Not fully knowing what His will was, I still said "YES". Well, that "YES" produced some pain. It caused me to hurt. It caused me to loose some things and some people that I held dear to my heart. It caused me to be able to identify with a sorrowing people. The only difference was that I had hope. But it also caused me to develop into the person I was created and destined to be. Yes, I wanted my purpose but I didn't want to go through hard times, broken relationships and seasons of loneliness to get it. In my mind, pain was for the sinner man. It was for the one who disobeys the word of God. Hurt was for the hypocrite and loneliness was for the unjust. Well, now I know differently. Look at Jesus' pain, hurt and feelings of abandonment.........and you say, what?

We all find ourselves in the valley of despair. It may sometimes seem that we are forever suffering pain, and facing challenges. But we must try to remember that the fertilizer that helps us "grow" is in those valleys of hurt, shame and pain, not on the mountain tops.

During my time of pain and hurt I felt scared and confused but God gave me Isaiah 54:1-17 to cling to. Verses 6 & 7 stuck with me the most. He also spoke these words to me while I knelt in pain on my kitchen floor from the emotional attack, He said, "I was not caught off guard by this tragedy in your life. Give it to me and I'll bare it." At those words, I felt a release and from that day to this, I have "NO" regrets.

We will always end up wiser and we'll grow from our experiences. We will understand more about people and life, become more sensitive, and we'll be able to enjoy life more after we go through the hard times.

We have to experience sadness so that we may better appreciate joy. Life has a way of balancing the sorrow with the joy, the disappointments with the hope, and the emptiness with the meaning.

And so, will I continue to say "YES" to His will? You bet your bottom dolla!

From my sincere heart!

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