Whats your thoughts on the high divorce rate between Pastors and there spouses?

The divorce rate is really high among Pastors and there spouses , in many cases both are Pastors together in Ministry. The divorce rate is very high in the world. Are we being a good witness to the world. Do you think two Pastors. or two Christians, can take the true word of God , prayer and counseling to save there marriage? Not judging just dialog.Lets hear your comments.

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Not submitting to Christ.
The comments are great by every one that responded. Minister Tracy B ,some touchy but true comments. Lets continue the discussion.
I like to say as well that statistics are not to be relied on, and do not show the whole picture, they are as accurate as one believes.

First, those polled? are they christians? are just believers,

Secondly, just because there is a divorce, does not mean a reconcilliation doesn't happen, which is not taken in consideration in these statistics.

Thirdly, christians mostly and the world need to understand that being a christian does not make one immune from the problems of the world, we go through just like everyone else only understanding that we have the victory in the end and that all things work for the good of those who love the Lord.

So instead of giving creedence to statistics, I feel we should trust in the word of God and lift each other in prayer
Human and all that is not the issue. We lead by example and we should not make an excuse. We should be a light to the World and not make excuses. Some people divorce and they are not at fault. The Church, the Christains should be a better witness. We are saved, we have the word of God and the spirit of God. We need to stop making excuses and return back to fasting, praying the true word of God, the Bible and quit ,we are human like . every one else. We are leaders and leaders lead and make better decisions and not excuses.What can we tell the World, not a thing ,thats why the World is in such bad shape in every area. Where are the days when the Church shook a nation and the power of God was at work in such a way.We need godly Pastors and Preachers back in our pulpits once gain.men and women that truly love God and have fear and intergrity in there lives.
Amen Dr. Brown,

The excuses need to cease. The people of God need to go beyond fitting into the world's program and fit into God's program. Being the light of the world testifies of Jesus not our humanity. If we walk in the spirit, we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Divorce is so out of hand because people are not walking in the spirit to begin with. Even in the church you have people marrying for reasons other than Godly reasons. (money, beauty, cover-up, pride...etc) For those who are married, we need to stay in the spirit and then we will stay out of trouble.
E W Ministries, Amen, We the Church,& Christians have become such a poor witness from the pulpit to the pew. There is so much greed,jealousy, competition, . Pastors want mega Churches instead of intergrity, the power and presence of God, fasting , prayer, the true word of God operating in our lives ancd Ministry. My husband passed in 2000. I have continued to live celebant , no dating until the person comes in the perfect will of God. I am not perfect, but I want to be a good example to my family, the people I,Pastor and minister to. I want to be a good witness for the Lord. That requires me putting my life on hold for this season.
Dr. Brown,

Have you found it easier to minister as a single woman than when you were married?

Do you think your Pastoring and ministry would be better if you were married or would it be worse or just different?
Minister Tracy B, No it is the same as when I was married . It does not matter if you are married or single.. I believe its how you carry yourself and your obedience to God. When you are obedient to Gods word and a role model to your congregation , the Lord blesses you and favors you. We have a lot of men in our Ministry , the right husband could be great to work with them but the wrong husband could destroy me, my family and the Ministry.
That is all well and said good, but let's not lose point that THE WORD states we are living in perilous times. Instead of pointing fingers, lets get into field and help those that are going through. The BEST leaders are those that are compassionate as our Lord was, and teach a standard, that there is a difference between holy and unholy, without the condescending nature of self righteousness
Marriage is not to be taken lightly. Heck, I've done that before and paid a HEFTY price for doing so. Too much fairy tale and not enough faith. I spent years in misery because of that decision. And he was a preacher!

Just because both are in the family of God doesn't mean that those two should become ONE. You could find yourself with headache, heartache, and much financial woes.

But the counsel we give people when they find themselves in a hearty mess is.... just obey God. Obey God in what? We don't walk people through their situation along with the scriptures we give them. Walk them through the word of God and show them how to apply it to their lives.

We are so quick to just condemn them and walk away. We just say scriptures and give them cute christian colloquialsims. That's like saying take two aspirins and call me in the morning and expect the problem to just fix itself.
Dr. Brown, a lot of people find themselves in the following situation:

THE HOSEA EXPERIENCE - the wrong spouse can seem oh so very wrong but can also be the very thing that God is using for an example.



GIVE US A KING! GIVE ME A SPOUSE! The right spouse - before marriage they think the other person is the right spouse...everything checks out. Prayers are made and seemingly answered. But something happens when they marry. It is like each person married someone totally different. It begins to be a Saul/Israel situation. Give me a spouse! And the end result is emotional hell. !!!

I asked you that question because not just any ole man can be with a woman who heads a ministry. I so appreciate Joyce Meyers Ministry. She is so open about her transformation in ministry and marriage especially how Dave (her husband) was consistent in his love for and loving her while God used the marriage to transform joyce from a self focused wounded woman to a God-centered lover of God Herself and of man. I identify with what she went through sooo very much. I remember she was telling the audience of a time when she was on the floor holding on to the leg of a table kicking and screaming as she was having a fit while having a conversation with God. The average person can identify with the struggle of obedience.

For some Believers obedience is (or seems) so easy ..."Iike the Nike swoosh JUST DO IT. BUT for most folk obedience is a fight within oneself as we submit to God. The more we submit the less the fighting within. But getting to that point isn't as simple as read a scripture and just do it.

People have to be taught to obey situation after situation taking no thought for tomorrow bcuz they need to deal with today, the right now.

I admire your consistency and determination to be a role model. People need role models who don't fail but also role models who have fallen and gotten back up again. They need to see unfailed success as well as how to succeed even when you fail and learn from your failures.

Keep being a role model. Continue to not just stop at condemning but also lift up the brother or sister who has fallen.
These are just some of the questions that couples need to seek prior as well as during the marriage:

How can our marriage last when we can’t get along?
Questions and Statements to think about and discuss
1. Do you think you can be happy in your marriage?
2. Do I have faith in my marriage being successful?
3. What is my perspective (how I look at) my marriage. Is it through Faith’s loving and forgiving eyes or is it
through a fleshly view, defeated, disaster, bitter, and unforgiving. (2 Cor 4:16)
4. The External is Temporary and fading away but the Internal (the Spiritual) is Eternal.
5. Anything that is seen in the natural is subject to change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for
the worst. The Faith arena will help you overcome the challenges of the natural external arena.
6. Where are you established? – The Faith & Spiritual arena or the flesh & doubt arena.
7. Light Afflictions – Problems that only seem large but really are not and they only last for a moment and
not forever. When you look back you realize it really was not that bad.
8. Is getting your way really worth paying the price for?
9. Continue to sow good seed into your marriage and keep your eyes on the Spiritual realm so that when
the physical changes you won’t be let down, depressed or destroyed.
10. Faith say’s I have what I believe. I have everything I need in my mate (God made it that way)
11. I can become discouraged when I always look at my relationship in the physical (the flesh)
12. Keep your relationship in the Faith arena and not in the flesh (seen) arena so you can be victorious
every time.
13. I need to effectively communicate with my mate so they can feel my love for them.
14. So what if it seems like we are always going through something, if we stay in Faith we can win every time.
15. Not all problems are created by you; there are generational curses that Visit.
16. Identify the generational curses; renounce it, then evict the intruder and SHUT IT OFF.
17. Make the necessary changes in YOURSELF for you and your seed.
18. LORD give me a heart and mind to please you. (This is a good daily confession)
19. Practical ways to encourage yourself. 1) Pray 2) Worship 3) Meditate on the word (especially when you
don’t feel like it)
20. Keep a cool head and stay alert because the enemy is after your marriage.
21. Don’t sleep on your marriage or get too comfortable, keep your guard up.
22. Everyday you have an opportunity to win or lose in your marriage, which do you choose.
23. The more you serve your mate the more you reap as a couple. (Don’t be selfish)
24. Men: remember your wife is first a woman and you need to minister to her as a woman. (Find out what
she likes and do it, your harvest will be great)
25. Take time to know your mates Love Language (how they give and receive love)
26. (Be careful) where are you getting your council.
27. What does the statement “1 Flesh” mean to you. (Gen 2:24)
28. A good marriage does not just happen, it takes work. Is my marriage Organized (Having one’s affairs
in order so as to deal with them efficiently, everyone needs to know what is expected of them) is it
Structured (to arrange according to a plan, to give form to, and to set boundaries) Do we have Order
(Does the way we do things in our home have order or do we just leave everything to chance. Find out
what works best for your house and then put it in order)
29. Are we Organized, Structured, and Ordered in our Finances, Communication, Sex Life, the Raising of
the Kids, etc?
30. Set rules and boundaries for yourself and keep them.
31. How do you value (the importance or preciousness of) your mate (your gift from God)?
32. Do you put other relationships before your marriage? Do you honor and respect others more than
your spouse. (Would you yell at your Pastor, or boss at work, do you cut your Pastor off when he is
talking, do you blow up at your Pastor for no reason, do you speak nice to others and harsh to your
spouse) If our respect and honor for others exceed the respect and honor we show to our spouse (the
one we are in covenant with) we are out of order.
33. Can you name your spouses top 3 Priorities (specifically)?
34. You know how hard you work on a job, would you get a paycheck from your mate for the work you
put in your marriage.
35. Have family meetings, come prepared to take notes, ask questions, review and give updates.
36. Ask yourself some tough questions: I spend too much time _____________. I know I should spend more
time __________. My mate wishes I would spend more time _______.
37. After God your mate should be your highest priority (not the kids, not mama, not family, not friends)
38. Always pray for your mate and have their best interest at heart…And Pray, Pray, Pray that God helps
YOU be a great mate…

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