'Warning to Ministers, Their Wives and Their Mistresses'

[Rev. Dr. Tracy Scott]

As told to Terrance Dean

At the time this woman was really overweight but then she started to lose the weight trying to get his attention. Then she started dressing like me. Finally, I had enough. I told my husband that I was not going to church with him anymore. I stayed home that Sunday. In all my years of attending church that was the only Sunday service I missed. I had to get my husband to see how serious it was for me. Most women would go after the other woman. I never did. I would never run after a woman. I tell women to go after him. If he doesn't listen to you and see what it's doing to you, then you leave.

I was strong enough to go to him and express what it was doing to our marriage. Besides, I knew I was a good wife. If it would have kept up, I wouldn't have stayed in it. I would have left. When I didn't go to church he realized what he was doing and stopped talking with her. He cut it off and the woman finally left. They all leave when they can't get their way.

In my situation it didn't go as far as him sleeping with another woman. I recognized something was wrong and I spoke up. My husband listened. However, it was enough for me to know that something could go further.

It bothers me to know many ministers have mistresses sitting right up in the church. Their wives and children are subjected to public humiliation. Some ministers even have children with their mistresses and leave their wives. I've talked to a lot of women and they say that in all the churches they've attended the ministers have been unfaithful and run around. I personally know so many that it's scary. These women know what they are doing. Don't be fooled. I wrote my book because I want to expose these types of men, and women, who do this.

I challenge ministers and their mistresses to ask themselves, where is God in your life? What is your commitment to God? Where is your conscience? They don't think of the consequences and devastation it causes their families, their wives, their children and the church.

Question: Dr. Price has issued a challenge to pastors! What are your thoughts?

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[Rev. Dr. Tracy Scott]

Thanks for responding.

I agree with you. This is something that can easily happen when a person's life is out of balance. We all need people who will help us be accountable and are willing to be real with us about our stuff. It is sometimes difficult for pastors to allow themselves to be held accountable or to surround themselves with strong men (men,male pastors, etc) or in the case of women pastors, strong females (women pastors, etc) who will have that gut-level conversations with them. People who are not afraid to tell them the truth and who do not worship them. How's it going? Are you loving your wife today? Are you finding time to be the wife your husband needs?

I encourage all pastors to understand that lust is a serious sin! "So it's worth asking, how are you doing with God's gift of sexualtiy? Have you allowed it to become a consuming drive that craves others for your own pleasure? Or are you guarding your thoughts, eyes, and steps so as to remain pure and blameless before the Lord?"

[Rev. Dr. Tracy Scott]

Remember, part of the challenge is the in-ability to see our own faults. People who care about us and know us are able to speak to issues we may not be aware of. Some pastors see this as an attack but it’s an opportunity.

Personally, I agree that for leaders, personal accountability is not optional - it’s a necessity. Whenever we avoid personal accountability, we leave ourselves wide open for attacks from the enemy. To protect one’s personal life, marriage, and ministry, all leaders should build a protective wall of accountability around their lives.

First, accountability begins in our relationship with God. David cried, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalms 139:23-24) Begin practicing accountability by being open and transparent in our personal prayer lives.

Secondly, God created the body of Christ, because He knew that we would need each other. Throughout the New Testament we find many “one another’s,” including love one another, serve one another, and encourage one another. These remind us that we are to be in an accountability relationship with other believers.

I have seen hundreds of pastors and leaders who did not practice accountability in crisis situations that could have been prevented, if only they had accountability partners. I’ve worked with churches, ministries, organizations and individuals who fell into Satan’s trap because they did not have a Nathan. Just as David was a man after God’s own heart, so Nathan was God’s gift to the man after His own heart.

Pastors, leaders, elders, etc spend so much time taking care of others. But early on in my training and experience I realized that often times, it’s the shoemaker’s kids, who have no shoes.

We can debate the type of questions and Nathan’s role, but I think there is little debate that accountability for leaders is a must. Thanks again for posting!

Dr. Tracy Scott
www.healthylivingseminars.org
www.wpjc.fm

[Rev. Dr. Tracy Scott]

Hey Anthony,

I understand your concern. Let me give a word of caution. It takes time to develop close friendships, so be patient. Someone once stated that the average person has only about six close friends outside of his or her own family in a lifetime.

Since that is probably true, if any one is looking for a Christian friendship (and I hope they are), pray for God's help. Be willing to be a friend. Maybe start a Christan support system for other pastors and allow it to develop into an accountability group. I have helped many pastors to start support systems.

But I know that with African-American pastors, there maybe some different challenges. We don't as a people (rule) like to put our stuff out there! You can get hurt. But then your growth is challenged. Been there, done that. It's a trap from Satan. We need the fellowship, relationship and accountability.

Here are some of the themes I have encouaged pastors to study in their support system:

A study of friendship based on Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24 and Proverbs 27 and ask the following questions:

What are the prerequisites for friendship; characteristics of a good friend and the benefits? I have found that this is an excellent way to get started. Give it a try!!

[Rev. Dr. Tracy Scott]

Thanks Lahry for your post. We all need the Lord.

Peace,