When is enough, enough?

[Taffinee]

I have been married for 11 years, When we got married we were not saved, but not much later I gave my life over to God. My husband continued in the worldly ways and I continued to pray for him. There have been many times I wanted to pack my bags and leave, but the spirit of the Lord continued to deal with me concerning my marriage. It is 11 years later I am still saved, he professes to be saved, he is saved in the public eyes but behind closed doors he is different. I continue to pray and ask God what I should do. I am drained and weary in this marriage and I am at a stand still. We can not come together as far as finances. We do not pray together or have bible study together. I love my husband, but I love God more. When is Enough, Enough?

[Scott R. Newman]

Gal 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Taffinee, I can tell from your eloquent words of frustration regarding your situation with your husband who obviously is still continuing to walk in carnality. You have endured and been a faithful wife and a true helpmate in praying to your Holy Father to touch your husband and to reveal Himself powerfully to step into the role as the leader of his home to be a doer of the commands, precepts and laws to righteously and justly come under the Lordship of his Lord, Jesus the Christ.

I have said many times, the hardest thing for us men to do is to willfully submit to man, even if that man is God Himself, in the person of Jesus Christ. I believe from what you are saying in spelling out what you are up against. And yes, it is very frustrating. I can feel that you are weary in spirit, tired and drained. Reminds me of when Jesus was with the Disciples that He chose to walk with Him to fulfill what He came here to do, which was to sacrifice Himself once and for all to free all from the heavy yoke of our collective sins, by nailing them on to the cross. Jesus was also frustrated with their lack of faith and understanding of who and what his duty and role was when He responded in frustration:

Mat 17:17 "And Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I bear with you? Bring him hither to me."

I like you at one point in my marriage just as frustrated, just as tired and dreadfully in dealing with my wife in carrying the weight of faith. I would at times get even angry for not coming under the mighty love of Jesus in faith. But I realize it is easier to go to the throne, boldly and put in your request. God does hear and God does and will answer your prayers as long as the one who is strong in faith becomes the light and salt that He requires of us. This is your mountain, as everyone has one to conquer, but we don't conquer anything, but MORE than conquerors in Christ Jesus.

Joh 15:16 "Ye did not choose me, but I chose you , and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you."

You both weren't saved before marriage, so its understandable that usually one who does get saved comes to the cross at a different journey than the other, which God before the foundations of the earth knew you were His. You were His Elect way before you were in existence on this physical plane, which makes you the Elect of Christ. You were elected by God Himself, for you heard the Shepherds voice and you became obedient to Him like a sheep to His master, guide and leader, for you were sin weary and came with a contrite and broken heart to be reconciled back to your Holy Father. You as a sheep can't do the saving, the drawing and the forgiving. Your husband can't choose God, God chooses Him if he's called. Only Christ chooses. It is us who are called just to sow, someone else will water, but God always does the increase. Your husband is God's harvest, we are to pray for workers to engage the harvest. You can't do it alone. I don't know based on what little you wrote what is it that your husband is doing that causes great strain in your marriage. I don't know if its drinking, drugging, gambling, abusive, or whatever it is, God is aware and not surprised. God is not tarrying as we think what tarrying looks like. Just know that this too shall pass. God has chosen you first to be a light in your husbands life a representative as well as an ambassador of the heavenly Kingdom. This is more of a lesson for you than it is a lesson for him.

1Co 7:13 "And the woman that hath an unbelieving husband, and he is content to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband."
1Co 7:14 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife...."

I know of a lady who was in your exact shoes and would think constantly about leaving her husband as well in divorce or the very least separate. She went to a woman's seminar and heard a powerful sermon of how to stay and be faithful even though it seems as if nothing was moving. The theme was, "Be still and know He's God". Can you be still and know He's God, Taffinee? She left that seminar with more weapons of how to deal with this type of spiritual warfare. When she arrived home it was different. Like a light shone within her. Instead of stressing her husband and pleading with him to get right with God. She choose not to engage him in that area of his lack of walking in God's truths. She choose to love him despite of himself. She told him while he sat down to either drink the night away or to watch tv as he ignored her, or while he cursed and screamed and was at times verbally abusive towards her. She began to speak lovingly to him. She started to say things like, "I just love you", and "I'm so blessed to have you as my husband", and "No matter what, I'm going to support you and encourage you". After doing these things for a couple of months, he began to come to her while reading her scripture and asked her, "what are you reading in the Bible?" She was shocked, for he never asked her that before. She on Sunday morning would dress to go to church alone she thought, when to her surprise he showered and got dressed to go as well. Within some time afterwards through her loving kindness saw Christ's light within her as her speech was always seasoned with grace towards him. He ultimately gave his life to Christ and was a changed man, and now he's a deacon of the church, in love with Christ and in love with the one who brought him closer to thee. Yes, love does conquer a multitude of sins.

2Co 4:17 "For our light affliction, which is for the moment, worketh for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory"

Taffinee, I know from reading your post, that you really don't want a divorce, you just want your husband to be the husband that God has called him to be. And know that one of the fruit of the spirit is, long suffering. And I can see you are suffering, but know this is just a season and like all seasons, they have a beginning and an ending. I will pray for you as well as your husband for God to reveal Himself to Him in his way to come to him. Know that we all at one time in our lives were prodigal sons and daughters. Allow God to bring him to his right mind. You just continue to stand firm on His word and His promises.

I hope this was of some help. And oh, by the way my wife has come to God in a powerful way and is now instead of being a hurtmate is my true helpmate in the ministry that God has for us to be apart of. Give God the praise and the glory now in thanking Him for what He has already done in your life and in your husbands life. Speak as if it were and let no one cause any more division in your covenant. Remember we are not fighting flesh and blood but principalities of darkness in high places. Just know that Christ has already overcame the enemy by the blood. He's not dead but.....RISEN and know He's with you always even until the end of the earth.

IT IS FINISHED!

I hope this was of some comfort.

God Bless

In His Grip

Scott

[Taffinee]

Thank you so much for that encouragement. I am at my witts in. I do want to throw in the towel, but God continues to keep me. Thank you! and keep me in your prayers as well as my husband. His problem is pride, selfishness, and bitterness.

[Taffinee]

Thank you for your encouragement. I have had some people tell me it is not worth it. I can do better and that I deserve better. I will be encouraged.

[Taffinee]

I would love for someone to be in agreement with me. That sounds good to me.

[Rev. Eric Culberson Jr.]

Please dont take this response in its directness as me being insensitive to what you are going through. My wife and I have been married for nearly 5 years now, and we head up the marriage ministry at our church. And I must admit we have been into our pastors study on several occasions to discuss our marital issues, but the one thing that I can come away with if anything in difficult time in our marriage is this If Christ was willing to go the distance for us, and we the church are his Bride, and our marriages down here are to refelct our relationship with the Father. Then you as the professing believer must stick in there, and continue to show the light of Christ to your husband. Jesus was willing to die for us, so that tells me you must be willing to go to the grave to see your husband walk in the Word of God. Remeber when you stood at the altar (if you had a christian minister) you promised to love, honor, obey, in sickness, and in health UNTIL DEATH DID YOU PART. Thats what you signed up for, so in the words of Edgar Guest See It Through!

I'm lifting you and your husband up now, and I pray that you two begin to do the things you desire (praying together and bible study) and that whatever the issues are you seek God's help. And God gives us pastors for these very issues I pray you have one with an open door that you two can sit down and talk to.

[Taffinee]

Thank you. That is why I am still here because I took a vow. And God reminds me of that vow.

[Rev. Eric Culberson Jr.]

Bless You! Keep praying and watch God move!