How can faith in a relationship differs between a persons heart and what they have in life ?

[Minister Larry C. Stewart]

I sit here and wonder when a man meets a woman she ask him where does he live,does he have a job, how much money does he make,is there any kids,what kind of car does he drive.and then maybethe question is asked does he love the lord.So with all that said how can a true believer find his or her mate when there is no faith

[Chandra Cole]

I believe in equality. In today's time, it takes two to make it. It also takes two to make things happen. I would expect no more from my mate than I would put into the realtionship myself.

[Chandra Cole]

It depends on the relationship. Is it just a friendship, or something heading toward marriage? For marriage, I believe some of those questions are in order. It has nothing to do with faith. Of course, the main question would be about his relationship with God. I don't want a Sunday service mate. He has to be doing something in the chruch and dedicated to it. He has to attend church more than just on the Sunday that he has to usher, sing, teach, etc. I wouldl like him to have a PASSION for Christ and His works. Then I would want to know if a man works. I don't want to marry a man I have to take care of. If he don't work before marriage, he more than likely won't work when you're married. How long has he been working determines if he can hold a job down. What type job he has is not a big deal, because if he's no thinking toward advancing in life, it may just take a little encouraging from a mate that will help him and be behind him. I believe in advancing toward being in business for yourself, not stuck in anybody's hot mill job all your life, wearing one's body down. The amount of money is not a big deal, nor is the type of car he drives, so long as the door is not falling off the hinges (don't want to find myself splattered on the highway). I also don't want to be in relationship with someone who is in debt over his head. That's already divorce, before marriage, in the making. I want to make sure he has no Moma drama. I love kids, but don't know about getting involved with a man who's kids tell him what to do. Kids have a way of coming between a relationship in the making. Now is the time for FAITH; faith that God will keep it all flowing smooth enough (LOL!)

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Brother Larry, in dating there is always the "interview" process. Everyone has some sort of list of likes, dislikes, desires, wants, don't-wants, etc. in their potential mate.

Oftentimes we get offeneded when the "interview" is blatant instead of incognegro. But believe me, even you probably send a woman through some sort of interview.

Also, as awful as it may sound, some of those questions (not all of course) are important questions to ask a person.

The #1 question shouldn't be "do you love the Lord". Why? Because love is more than mere words. God's measuring stick of our love is obedience to His word. So, you don't have to ask a person that questioin. Just watch their lifestyle. Their actions will speak much louder than their answer to that question. If we wait, God will always reveal the person who REALLY loves HIm versus the person who can convince us with mere words that they love Him.

Instead of that question, ask an open-ended question like "describe your relationship with the Lord"

People get on edge with this question because they immediately believe you are judging them. Most feel their relationship with the Lord is a private thing. But think about it, can you describe your relationship with your children, with your parents, with your boss without going into the private details... of course you can. When in love, can you describe your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend...oh you are most often eager to do so (smile) So what is the difference with the Lord? There shouldn't be. Explain it like that, break the ice about each other's faith and you'd be surprised at how that conversation will go.

Also, at our age (LOL) gone are the days of asking elementary questions like what's your fav color and fav food etc. Although I like those questions.....they help if a convo goes dead... most adults talk about religion, politics, entertainment finances or family.

Ask people questions about things that are character related and/or relationship foundation related. For example, one of the questions you mentioned that women ask is "do you have any kids". This is important because it can lead to a discussion of who both of you feel about kids. Maybe she has some and does or doesn't want more. Maybe you have some and do or don't want more.

The question "where do you live" should be reworded "in which part of town do you live". While this isn't super important sometimes people don't or maybe even CAN"T drive too far to meet a person. So, if you live in Katy, TX and she lives in LaPorte, TX (both on the complete opposite sides of Houston) and one or both of you don't have transportation....then visiting one another can be a significant challenge.

"Do you have a job" this may not be the question to hit a brotha (or sista) with off bat but again....curiosity creeps in as to why the other person doesn't have a job. Do they have a history of getting fired and if so, why? Do they have a bad temper and keep blowing up at work....well how long before that temper rears its ugly head in the relationship?

People can and do change by obeying God's word...but it is not bad to look at patterns in a person's life.

And sometimes, people will play the relationship game with you and not tell you things simply because you didn't ask.

Never forget that you have the Holy Spirit INSIDE of you and He will also lead you to ask a person questions that probably make no sense to you but will reveal a lot about the other person to you. He has your back and will save you lots of time in dealing with people who are being deceptive. I've asked a person questions that I was truly led to ask them and sure enough, they lied or "covered the truth" and I found out the next day that they lied. There was no need to confront them, I was thankful to God for showing me that and the many other things that He has revealed to me about this person.

Last thought, sometimes when people are offened by questions....they usually have something or several things to hide.

Enjoy your holiday dear.

[BISHOP TAURIUS J. FRANKLIN]

Faith is the the core of a healthy relationship, and that needs to be the focus and first point of any relationship, i.e. friendship or when pursuing to date a individual.